Shower invite; no thank you for gift; NO WEDDING INVITE!? VENT

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow… That does sound a bit greedy!

Post # 4
Member
6 posts
Newbee

@Anna10-05-2014:  Perhaps much like you, she might have been backed into a corner to invite you to her shower. But, look at it this way, at least you don’t have to buy a wedding gift or an outfit to attend a wedding you’d rather not be at anyway.

Post # 5
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Nothing should surprise us these days. At least you shouldn’t feel pressure to invite her to anything of yours now. 

Post # 6
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Did you actually recieve an invite or word of mouth?  You didn’t really want to go anyways so I’d just let it pass over like it was nothing.

 

Post # 7
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

she was rude for not sending you a thank you card. It is also rude that you didn’t get an invite to the wedding after being invited to the shower. But hey, like Bajan Bee said, you save money by not having to give a gift to someone you really don’t care about and you don’t have to buy an outfit! You win!

Post # 8
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Awful. Manners are dying.

Post # 9
Member
11002 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would not blame the bride or the hosts of the wedding for not having invited you to attend the wedding. They were not rude. However, the hosts of the shower did not follow proper etiquette by inviting you to a shower when you were not also going to be included among the guests for the wedding.

As for the bride not sending you a thank you note, she was incorrect for not having done so. 

Post # 10
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@greymonkey42:  +1

Did you get a legit invitation, or was this your mom inviting you to “tag along,” so to speak?  Because if it was just your mom inviting you, or even the parents of the bride or groom by word of mouth, the bride/groom might not feel obligated to invite you to the wedding (I wouldn’t if my Mom invited someone random person and we had a strict guest list).

I’m not saying that’s the case here.  Just asking for clarification.

 

 

ETA: You still should have gotten a thank you note though.  How long ago was the shower?  Maybe your thank you got lumped together with your mom’s for some reason?

 

Post # 11
Member
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

That’s just WRONG!! The nerve! I would somehow find away to bring that up to the bride or let it get back to her somehow that you don’t quite understand why you were invited to the shower if you were not being invited to the wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Or maybe she has not gotten around to writing them yet.

Post # 13
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Or maybe she has not gotten around to writing them yet.

Post # 14
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@greymonkey42:  +1

it seems like you didn’t technically get an invite since you say you “heard last minute.”  You may have not been invited to the shower after all.

 

Post # 15
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Anna10-05-2014:  If my mom was so fussed about giving gifts to people I didn’t care for, I would have made her pay. I’d sooner start world war three with my family than have them control my life. I would ask my mom to reimburse me for her friends 😛

Post # 16
Member
2720 posts
Sugar bee

@Anna10-05-2014:  Girl, I was a bridesmaid and bought a lovely pricy gift on top of everything else I had to do for the wedding and got no thank you. Nothing surprises me anymore.

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