- 3 years ago
My family lives very far away, and I mistakenly assumed my mother would not be able to fly out for my shower a month before the wedding. This was my mistake, and it caused a chain-reaction mess.
My mom found out that I didn’t think she’d make it, and she was very upset and makes her think I don’t need her there.
My bridesmaid and future MIL are planning the shower. MIL desperately wants the shower to be a surprise, but clearly that can’t work if my mom has to fly out a few days before and stay with me. Apparently my MIL is planning for it to be a surprise BBQ couples shower, which my mom does not like at all.
I’ve decided to go ahead and keep the couples shower. At first I stressed out about pleasing my mom, but I realized the only thing I care about is that everyone I love is there.
So I called my MIL this morning to nicely say, “I know that you want this to be a surprise, but I just don’t think it’s going to work with my mom coming out! My mom was really sad that I assumed she wouldn’t come, and I really want her to be a part of this. I’m sorry I didn’t communicate clearer and sooner, but I really want her to be involved.”
MIL obviously agreed, but then when I said, “Also, my mom has some dates that can’t work for her. She has another wedding to go to in another state, and my sister will be visiting her with her new baby,” I got a response that I never ever heard from my MIL.
MIL said, completely serious: “Are you kidding me? Ugh. Really? Okay. Well then I guess either your mom can make it, or I can make it. But we might not both be there.”
I am so crushed now. My stupid initial mistake has now upset both mothers. My bridesmaid is caught in the middle of the mess. And I don’t even know if both moms can attend now.
I feel so guilty, and I just want to please both parties. Obviously I can’t. I’m just at a stand-still on what will happen next. The date of the shower will most likely coincide with a date that does not work for my mom to fly out.
What the heck do I do?