Shower RSVP – guests ignored my emails and didn't respond

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 5
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MIbee2013:  Too many people are rude when it comes to rsvp’s.

I would however, suggest that the hostess of the shower follow up by phone. It is inappropriate for the guest of honor to be chasing down the responses. The invitees are likely uncomfortabe now that they are aware that you know they did not rsvp.

Post # 6
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Well, you have to have a date for which to RSVP by, and after that date, they can’t come. But yes, call these people. Emailing and Messaging are not effective. I know I read my emails once every 1 or 2 weeks, and Facebook Messages, I’ll read them quickly on my phone, and then forget about them quickly after. But if someone is harassing me on the phone, trust me, I’ll want to get that taken care of as soon as possible so they don’t be calling me again. lol

Post # 7
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

No no no no no. Do not reach out to these women. You are the guest of honor, not the host, of this event. It would look very gift grabby of you to hound these women to find out if they are attending. 

At this point, you should drop it. If anything, the host should reach out (not via facebook) and see who is coming. 

Post # 9
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MIbee2013:  You might have to make a few phone calls or send a few emails to obtain these people’s phone numbers, but it is not an impossible task. Find the numbers then pass the info to the hostess of the shower.

Post # 10
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MIbee2013:  I understand that you are trying to help, but it is not appropriate for you to reach out. Essentially you are asking people if they are going to attend a gift-giving occasion for you. Do you have a family member you could talk to about it and who could reach out to these people? Other people should be doing this for you. 

Regardless – no RSVP is essentially a “no”. One shouldn’t hound the non-RSVPers. Yes, they should’ve responed, but no need to hound them for. 

Post # 12
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MIbee2013:  You should never ask more than once. After one time, you should assume these people are #1 – Rude and #2 – Not coming. 

Post # 13
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MIbee2013:  For the shower, you could consider these non-responders a no, if it is a simple shower at someone’s home. If the shower involves the expense of catering, I would have someone nail down a yes or no.

For the wedding, you definitely need a firm yes or no. It will be a hassle if you assume they are a no, and someone needs to scramble to set up extra tabes and chairs at the last minute and find these people something to eat.

Post # 14
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had this happen at my graduation party/birthday party a couple years back. I originally sent out my party details to a small number of friends 3-4 weeks in advanced. Then a week ibefore the party when only 2 or so people had actually said they were going, I wrote them all a personal message telling them I needed to know their RSVP because I needed to know how much food to buy. Very few replied to that despite me being clear on how important it was to get a headcount.

 

People nowadays are rude and cannot be bothered to even RSVP to something. Since you don’t have their phone numbers, I would message them again and make it clear that it’s important to hear back from everyone, even if it’s a maybe or just to know that they have read your message. I also think it might be a good idea to obtain their numbers as well. If they still don’t reply I would even reconsider my friendship with them.

 

People these days… awful.

 

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