- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
So I kinda already posted on this before http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/bridesmaids-problems-feeling-no-support#axzz2dKTvQVBE and then based on what people said told myself to stop being a complainer, buuuut better here than in real life…..
My shower is this weekend. I am both dreading and looking forward to it, and the looking forward part includes just having it over and done with…
So in my last post the Bees and I discussed the ettiquette of the bride or MOB planning the shower. Consensus had it that it is a no-no. BUT ettiquette aside, that’s what we did. In part it was because no one offered… I have a man of honor, who has no clue abt weddings and 3 first time BM’s who also don’t know much about weddings either bc it’s not culturally done (I’m Mexican) or because they are young (I have a jr bridesmaid). My remaining bridesmaid is getting married a month before me so she’s pretty busy. (2 of my 5 bridesmaids will not be coming to either the shower or the bachelorette party), I figured that since financially my family could handle that kind of expense whereas my BMs could not and again bc no one else offered it would be nice to have my mom host the shower.
Boy was I wrong!
After procrastinating for several months, and then telling me flat out she didn’t want to plan it but wouldnt mind paying for it, I ended up being the one to make the reservation, put down the deposit, put together the guest list, make the invitations, etc etc. My mom complained about things and fought with the one BM who was helping plan and telling her she didnt want her help for anything and then complained to me that the BM wasnt helping. Oh, and the BM didnt lag behind and emailed me to complain that my mom was being difficult and that the favors she was making were ugly. Ughhh. You know what was ugly? Dealing with all this.
Fast forward to now, I had RSVPS made to my BM and just got the final number back from her today (the restaurant wanted it Monday, ugh). Then she added that her family didn’t want to sit next to one of the guests (aunt by marriage) so make sure to place her somewhere else. —I originally didnt even want to do place cards but she insisted she would make them. Surprise surprise, I ended up having to figure it out. I was tempted to just let people sit wherever but there will be a mix of ages and also english and spanish speaking and I didnt want people left at a table where no one speaks their language or deal with the whole “I told you I didnt want to sit with her” thing.
I was at the computer trying to figure this out and said “Figuring out seating is really hard” to which my mom responded “well, I’m going to bed.” I guess she felt guilty bc she came back and offered to help saying “just put people wherever!”
Then my mom looks at me all tearful and says she is trying her best. I believe she really thinks she is but I am so frustrated. I feel like all I have are everyone’s requests, criticisms, tattling, etc etc. I’m the one having to deal with paying, planning, going back and forth on emails and negotiating with the restaurant, figuring out seating and dealing with everyone’s complaints but not their help.
Oh, and now I feel badly abt having hurt my mom’s feelings
I look around the hive and see so many adorable posts about brides being surprised with showers and the thougthfulness that went into mine and well to be honest, I’m kinda jealous… I wish that someone would have taken this and tried to make it special…
Or that I would have stuck to my guns and when I noticed no one was planning one, just decided “oh well” and not had one.