Post # 1
So my MOHs and my parents held this wonderful shower for me – it was more than I could have imagined with the outpouring of guests that came and just having everyone there for me. My parents footed most of the cost and my MOHs took care of some stuff as well. However, I was shocked to find out that my MaidOH actually accepted my parents’ money when they asked to reimburse her for it. She is not paying for any other shower and she makes at least 4 times what my parents make. They paid for more than 5/6 of the shower cost (it was pricey) and I am positive that if I were in her situation I would not have taken the money, even if it was offered. She spends the money for a Louis Vuitton but not be willing to spend $100 for some decorations. The part that miffed me was that if she actually wanted payment or to split the cost, she could have asked me or my MatronOH to split it and we would have gladly talked about it, rather than take the money from my parents. They are incredibly generous people but not because they make even close to a slightly average salary, only because their hearts are amazing and it is their daughter’s wedding. I really wasn’t even going to write about this but I think the venting in an anonymous place will help me move on from it slightly, although I will not forget it. I am not going to mention it to her because it is not worth it to do so, but I can’t seem to forget about it and I am in disbelief. Sorry about the long entry, but thanks for being such a welcome community in which to vent.
Post # 3
Did your parents insist on reimbursing your MOH such that she had to take the money? Sometimes it’s hard to read the signals and know exactly when you are supposed to turn down money and when you are supposed to accept it. I’m not excusing her behavior but I understand that money can be a sticky issue and it’s not always so black and white. Sorry that this happened at your shower but hope you feel better.
Post # 4
flbeachbride — Sorry to hear you feel conflicted on this issue. I think you are doing the right thing by not beating a dead horse and bringing it up again. I honestly don’t think this is your issue at all to be honest. The money was offered, she accepted. It doesn’t sound as if she ASKED for your parents to offer so if they chose to do it, then there is no changing that (You can’t offer money and then simply say no when someone accepts it). She could have possibly took the money so she wouldn’t offend your parents for offering it.
I know you just wrote this to vent so what’s done is done… if I were in your shoes I’d simply forget it and enjoy the generous shower you had. Some people just don’t see things the way you do, and she sounds like one of those people! You may also want to write your parents an extra-heartfelt note as a thank you.
Post # 5
Yeah just make sure maybe to get your parents a nice gift as a thank you and really know that you didn’t need it and really appreciated it.
Post # 6
I can understand when it seems like people don’t do what you clearly think is the right thing. But since you weren’t actaully there when this took place try not to pass judgment on her. If your MOH didn’t ask, I don’t think you should be so hard on her. Maybe she didn’t know what to do. Maybe your parents really pushed it on her. Maybe it was their way of giving a little to her for her hard work, and thanking her.
But you are doing the right thing by not saying anything to her. Enjoy your wedding.