Post # 1
My FI’s sister is getting married next month (the month before us!). I just got a shower invitation from her mother, and the shower is the Thursday before the wedding. Maybe this should be posted under the Etiquette board instead, but I just want to gather some opinions. Do I need to bring two gifts? I was planning on giving two gifts originally but now the gift-giving time is very close together, and it might make it harder on us as money is getting tight because of our own wedding and now I will have to take an extra day off of work to go to the shower (they live a day trip away). Should I just bring one big gift instead of two smaller ones? Or just one to the shower and just bring a card to the wedding?
Post # 2
I think two smaller gifts is fine. I normally divide my wedding budget to a shower and a wedding gift, no mater what time the wedding is compared to the shower. So if my total budget is $75, I will spend $25 on a shower gift and $50 on the wedding gift.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2014 - Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago, IL & Cheney Mansion, Oak Park, IL
Agree with PP. I would give two gifts, but split your budget between them. I wouldn’t just skip a gift for one though, especially since you’re attending both events.
Post # 4
I realize by the time that I respond to this post your FI sister’s wedding has probably already happened.
I always find shower gifts difficult – asking people to get you two gifts because you are getting married and your a girl always struck me as odd. Especially when everyone is watching their budgets. So I usually suggest to a group of friends to chip in small amounts ($10-15) for a larger purchase (i.e. comforter set) or ask the hostest what the “theme” of the shower is and choose something small but appropriate.
For my wedding shower people were shocked when I asked for family recipies instead of physical gifts (it was almost exactly 1 month before our wedding). My MOH sent out recipe cards and bought a recipe box. I got some awesome recipes (some of which are family secrets – like my aunts pecan pie, a recipe her daughters don’t even have….lol) and it was cheaper on everyone else. If you know multiple people going to the shower you could do this regardless of if the bride asked for it or not. It would be about $20 expense but if you and your friends/relatives chip in $3-5 for the box and cards and just spend the extra time it will barely feel like an additional expense.
I think, thinking outside of the box is really fun. In this case since the bride is going to be your SIL suggesting a “coupon exchange” for your showers where you take each other out for drinks in 3 months and have some bonding time could be just as cool as a physical gift. Or a certificate for a girls day to get your nails done together so you can bond with her…. etc. (Otherwise be frank with her I’m sure her budget is just as tight as yours is, esp with the weddings a month apart. exchanging no shower gifts might be equally welcome to her as it could be for you.)
Post # 5
whitemochi622: Personally, I’d bring the same gifts you were planning before. If it were me, I’d do a gift for the shower and cash for the wedding.