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Oooh. That's touchy. What if you went to your boss privately and said something like, "I think it's really sweet that you want to throw a shower and I'm so excited about it. I think it'd be most enjoyable if I got to spend that time with just people from the office. Plus, my WP is sooo overwhelmed right now. I think they'd feel better if they were left out of this one. What do you think?" That way, you are communicating how grateful you are for the shower and that it was a good idea. However, you're protecting your BP from a crappy evening AND keeping your two groups separate. I think it's important to ask the boss what they think so that you aren't TELLING him/her how it's going to be.
Imho, it's just a matter of the fact I don't think these two groups are at all really needing to be mixed together. You have your work friends, your away from work/life friends etc. I just don't see why mixing the two is a good idea. Nobody will know the other and you'll get one side of the room sitting together the office bunch and ont he other side of the room sitting together the bridal party.
I think it's just not a good idea. How about telling your boss it's so hard with all this time to get all the bm's together and can we maybe just have myself and FI and all of us from the office?
Definitely start with gratefulness about how thoughtful your boss is being! Regardless of potential gossip, etc, --I wouldn't want to mix the groups either.
You can mention that it would be hard to schedule, too much on the places of your wedding party (with other showers and bachelorette party etc). And then make a request to just spend time wit hyour co-workers, empasizing how nice and special it is that she's planning it.
I think your boss is being gracious by extending the invite to your friends. Be upfront with her, thank her profusely for throwing the shower, tell her how excited you are for it, and then tell her that you'd prefer it just be co-workers and leave it at that.
Good luck!
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Ny boss wants to throw me a co-ed shower with all of our department and spouses. Not a problem, however she would like to invite my friends and bridal party. My coworkers are older very conservative and gossipy. My friends probably would not have fun at this event, and one of my BM is gay and would bring her girlfriend to a shower with dates. I can just see some coworkers having a field day with this, and don't want her to feel uncomfortable or have to deal with gossip later. The wedding will be big enough not to have drama, but a shower not so much. My FI and I really don't want to mix these groups together. We would feel like we would have to make sure my coworkers and our friends are having a good time. at my boss's house!
How do I politely stress that I really just want to have it be work only? I know my boss wants to make it special