Post # 1
So, my maid of honour is throwing me a shower with all of the women invited to the wedding… which is amazing, I honestly didn’t even think anybody would throw me one. But now I found out that there are two other showers in the works, one thrown by my lovely FMIL and one thrown by ladies in the neighbourhood. Our wedding is small and intimate, and most of those people are not invited. I am extremely grateful, and very surprised… but I am feeling uneasy about it. My maid of honour is also a bit upset and said that this was tacky. I always understood that it was rude to invite people to a shower that are not invited to the wedding? My FMIL assured me that the people are very layed back and *want* to throw me a shower knowing that it is a small wedding, and not to worry about it. All three parties are already in the process of being planned and I don’t think they can be “merged” in any way. Is this a huge etiquette breach or should I go with the flow of the local customs?
Post # 3
Go with the flow. The girls at work are throwing me a shower and they know I can’t invite anyone from work to the wedding due to space, so yeah
Post # 4
I am also having a small intimate ceremony. I’ve been open and honest about that fact with everyone. I work with over a 100+ people and I am being thrown two showers at work. One is by the ladies in my department (they know they aren’t invited, but want to celebrate with me) and the hospitality committee is also throwing me one. I don’t think its a breech of etiquette because they are choosing to throw a shower for you because they care. They know your wedding is small, but they still want you to celebrate with you in some way.
Post # 5
Despite what you may read here on WeddingBee, it is common for groups of friends, neighbours, future relatives, work colleagues, club members and church members to host a shower for the bride and other members of the same group.
You are not the one hosting or issuing the invitations, so sit back, enjoy and be grateful.
Post # 6
It’s their choice! We’ve had showers at work for people, we knew we weren’t invited to the wedding. I wouldn’t worry about it, they want to do it for you.
Post # 7
If you’re really uncomfortable with the idea of these 2 extra showers, then have a gentle heart-to-heart with your FMIL and the ladies in the neighbourhood. But truly, you should just go with the flow; it’s as much for them as it is for you. They just want to do something nice for you and celebrate for you, fully knowing that not all of them will be invited. I totally hear that you’re worried about this being tacky, but really think you have no reason to worry. After all, you’ve hd no part in planning them (I’m assuming there are no registries for these 2 showers.) Moreover, it seems this is coming from a really genuine place. They probably wouldn’t offer if you weren’t good to them, so relax and enjoy.