Shower/Bachelorette planning questions

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would just go for it and start planning something low key with your friend. She’ll give you the guest list if/when she gets into it hopefully. 

That’s silly that people don’t want to drive 30 minutes. I wouldn’t say anything to reassure them. They’re adults. They’ll figure it out Laughing

I’m not sure what to do with the moms. Just say you can’t because you have BM duties to attend to? Suggest someone else? 

Like I said above, I’d plan something low key for the bachelorette. Since she’s not into weddings how about going to dinner and hitting the bar? 

Post # 5
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you need to get her FI involved. 

He can collect a lot of the guest list info.  He can solicit donations from his mother while you get donations from her steo-mother (either monetary, or would “you bring xyz”). He can badger the guests to RSVP.  He can make sure your friend’s schedule is clear and that she arrives on time. He can generally be your co-host for this party. 

Post # 6
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I wouldn’t include her FI in this stuff.  Are you sure the bride wants a shower and a bachelorette?

If so,

A) What’s a good way to tell BFF for the final time I need her party guest lists ASAP?  Figure out dates for shower and bachelorette and figure out when you’ll want to send invites out by.  I’d be flexible to send invites out by email and/or snail mail potentially (whatever she can give you).  Then tell her you’re sending invites out for x event on y date to whatever email or snail mail addresses you have on that date and others probably won’t get invites in time.

B) How can I get people who I have never met and don’t know to my house with reassurance travel isn’t that bad?  Don’t worry about it.If some of them have cars or you live in an accessible place, they can figure it out if they are available that day and care about being there for her.

D) Any financial suggestions for my strapped budget?  For bridal shower and bachelorette, let ppl know what will be free (what you’re paying for) and also let invited ppl know in advance that each person attending will kick in x amt more to cover the bride.  When I planned a bachelorette for a bride w/a different friend group than my own, I double-checked that they were okay with the costs in advance, and I asked them all to give me their portion by a certain point in advance (and they did) by mailing me a check, depositing it in my acct, or paypaling it to me.  

 

Post # 8
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@southsun:  I planned a bachelorette party by myself and while I did host some parts of it for free and I pitched in extra to give everybody some upgrades/favors, for certain things, I did ask the girls in advance about their interest in certain activities for certain $ amounts and noted that the amount included tax, tip, and pitching in for the bride.  

I think it went over well because the ladies also knew that I was covering some parts on my own.  8-15 ladies (or however many it is) each pitching in an extra $10-20 to cover the bride is reasonable if the ladies know in advance and say they’re fine with it and the MOH can’t afford to cover the bride and all other costs of being MOH on her own.  The ladies were not asked to contribute any money for the shower.

Post # 10
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@southsun:  the spa party is her Bach party, right? I planned one bachelorette and have been to multiple where the host(s)/planner(s) asked each guest to contribute the costs of their own participation plus extra to cover the bride. Seems to be pretty standard And ive never been to a bach party where the host/planner covered costs for the girls attending.  

At some of the Bach parties, the host/planner threw in an extra perk for ppl attending, but at most of the bachelorettes I’ve been to, guests paid for all of our own costs (including whatever activity, spa services, drinks, food, transpo/limo, and rooms) and pitched in enough to cover the bride too.

Just let ppl know costs in advance And what it covers (& tell them it’s what bride wants if they give you a hard time)

Post # 11
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Guests shouldn’t pay anything for the shower, but guests paying their way and for the bride at a bachelorette is often expected. 

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