Post # 1
So while I’m waiting for my turn at this wedding thing :-). My best friend is getting married (4 months after he proposed no less WOW). Anyway, as the Maid/Matron of Honor I’m throwing her a shower for all of our mutual friends. I’ve already invited her mother which wasn’t hard since she and I are pretty close. Now I’m starting to question myself, should I also invite the groom’s mother to my shower? I didn’t think of it until now and the bride didn’t say anything (I explain this more as she’s going crazy trying to plan an entire wedding in 4 months). She does have a great relationship with the groom’s mom, but I’ve never met her. What do you guys think? Is it traditional to have the mother of the groom there as well? Especially if that side of the family is having their own shower. Do they attend all of them? Kinda confused.
Post # 3
I would invite her just to be polite. I would follow up with a phone call to make sure that she understood that we welcomed her presence and didn’t need her present, as we know that the FI’s family already has plans for a shower.
Post # 4
For my shower, I made up the guest list myself and sent it to my Maid/Matron of Honor, but I’m a control freak so maybe it’s not normally done that way? Anyway, I never considered NOT inviting my Future Mother-In-Law but we’re doing a jack ‘n jill and inviting a handful of family from both sides. I think it’s only polite to invite the MOG.
Post # 5
i am also a control freak 🙂
i made the list as well. and I invited his mother, cousins, aunts and grandma. we all spend time together anyway and it was so great having them all there!
Post # 6
No I don’t think you guys are control freaks, but I think the bride is so busy trying to plan everything in a short period of time she didn’t really give me a list of people she pretty much just said invite our friends. So that’s kind of what I did. I did run a few specific people by her but she said it doesn’t really matter to her. Just trying to figure out what to do. The other showers I’ve given were the only shower for the bride so it wasn’t a question of whether the groom’s mother was there.
Post # 7
It’s customary that the bridal party and mothers be invited to all wedding functions unless it’s a specific group thing (e.g., her mother’s book club, the bride-to-be’s office mates, etc.), though they’re only expected to gift once, no matter how many showers, teas, lunches or what-have-you they’re invited to.
If you know for a fact that someone on the groom’s side is also throwing a shower, you don’t want to overlap on the general guest list, but I’d definitely invite the MoG, especially since the MoB will be there. Even if she chooses not to attend, it’s always better to have extended that olive branch.