Showers? So much work to give to other people! And expensive!

posted 3 years ago in May 2014
Post # 3
2798 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Showers are thrown for you by other people.  The people who are hosting are supose to pay.  I know you feel guilty (and I do too) but these people obviously love you enough to do this for you.

I am sure your attendents are adults who are smart enough not to put themselves in a financial bind in order to throw you a party.  🙂

Post # 4
2150 posts
Buzzing bee

@Kwhoa:  In my case, FI and I are paying for about 1/4 of our wedding. His parents are paying for a little less than half, and my dad is making up the rest.

FI’s parents and even his aunt are chipping in on our shower. I’m sure my BMs will too.

I originally didn’t want to have a shower, but FI’s mom insisted, so that is why they’re paying for most of it. And his aunt chipped in on his brother’s wife’s shower, so that is why she’s doing the same for us (she’s very wealthy).

Honestly, I’m not sure who is supposed to pay for the damn thing. But you’re right, they are expensive!

I guess it depends on if you have to book a venue for the shower or if it will be at someones home. If it’s going to be at someones house, then suggest just having a buffet of appetizers to keep costs down. 

We don’t really have that option, so we’re booking a room at a local restaurant and having a buffet which costs more per person than our actual reception food will! 

Good luck!

Post # 5
42157 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Kwhoa:  The finances are not your concern. The people hosting the shower would not be doing so if they didn’t want to. Relax, step back from the details and simply enjoy being the guest of honor.

The time will come when you are hosting a shower for a friend or family member. What goes around, comes around.

Post # 6
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

The hostesses pay. The bride does not. However, I totally understand where you are coming from. I don’t like accepting things from others too. Showers and registries make me rreally uncomfortable so we skipped them.

Post # 8
6958 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Kwhoa:  Let people throw you parties! I know it’s hard and feels like too much…. but they love you and want to honor you. Don’t feel guilty. You are not a bridezilla because they offered… it’s not like you demanded they throw you the showers! Relax and enjoy it. 

Post # 10
1162 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Kwhoa:  Hi date twin! I totally understand where you are coming from. Showers are so expensive! My mom is helping the bridesmaids pay for my shower. 

Post # 11
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m not having a shower and instead will just have a bachelorette party. I have been living with my FI for a year and we had a house warming so I don’t need extra stuff. I plan to get my lingerie gifts at the bachelorette party

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