Post # 1
Basically, my sister’s been engaged for five years and can’t plan a wedding yet because she’s waiting to have cosmetic surgery. Me and FI have been engaged for a year and today, we finally set our date.
Me and my sister ha a big blow-up argument the other week and she told me that she knows I can’t change my plans to suit her, but it hurts her feelings that I’m getting married first, especially as I’m younger and haven’t been engaged as long. She told me she feels like there’s so much attention on my wedding that nobody cares about hers. We made our peace but I’m still very aware of how much this upsets her.
Well, now we’re finally booked in with our venues and this is where the real planning starts. She’s my BM, so she’s obviously going to be involved in things like dress shopping, the hen party, etc… and I’d like to think of ways that I can make it just as much about her as it is about me. I don’t particularly love being the centre of attention anyway, but I know it’ll hurt her feelings if I did go crazy bridezilla on them. I’ve thought about things like taking her out to lunches regularly so we have chance to talk non-wedding stuff, and getting her a nice gift, maybe a necklace to wear on the day… but I don’t want to seem like I’m creeping to get on her good side.
Post # 2
ZebraPrintMe: going out to lunch to reconnect as just sisters and not talk about wedding stuff is a good idea, that is a nice gesture on your part. Honestly I would not go over the top otherwise to try to cast more attention on her while you are planning your wedding. I’m sure once your wedding is done and it’s “her time” it will be ALL about her up until her wedding.
She sound incredibly immature to have hurt feelings about you getting married first – she’s been engaged 5 years and that was her choice.
Post # 3
Is she waiting for plastic surgery or cosmetic surgery?
Plastic surgery corrects the effects of disease or damage and I can sympathise with the wait although five years is a long time.
Cosmetic surgery might be something like a breast enlargement or an eyebrow lift and I’m not sure that I can sympathise with the wait quite so much.
A person doesn’t have to look perfect on his or her wedding day. Better to spend the time being married.
Post # 4
ZebraPrintMe: yeah, you really don’t need to put your life on hold for her. this is quite unreasonable… they could have married years ago! i think it’s nice of you to put some effort in your relationship… you made her your BM so the two of you should be getting along in my opinion.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Personally, I don’t see why your wedding should be about her at all.
She will have her day when it’s her turn. If she expects you to be helpful when it’s time to plan her wedding, she will be helpful now. And even if she had no expectations of getting married, if she agreed to be your BM, she should step up.
If she can’t handle it, that’s really her problem.
Post # 6
Supersleuth: it’s elective cosmetic surgery. I personally think she’s mad, because she’s model gorgeous anyway, but she’s wanted it for years and has had to prep for it for two, if that makes any difference.
Post # 7
She just needs to get married and not wait for after the surgery, and certainly not delay your wedding plans.