Sh*t I Say to My SO

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Him:  “Honey, you think I am funny, right?”

Me: “In the tell a funny joke or story way, no. In the you always crack me up in the things you do or say way, yes”

Him: “So when you laugh, you are laughing at me and not with me?”

Me: “NOOOO….maybe….yes….but what makes you funny is your delivery most times, and not what you are actually saying…which is one of the many many reasons I love you so much.”

Him: “So, I should refrain from telling jokes, since they are not funny?”

Me: “…what would I have to laugh at if you stop though…”

Him: “touche”

Post # 4
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I use one of Liz Lemon (Tina Fey in 30 Rock)’s lines as a retort to when he says something that baffles me — “What the what!?”.

Him: *jokingly* “…you know I’m not normal.”

Me: “I know!”

Him: “…and you said “yes!”.

Me: “I know…..!” 😉

Post # 5
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Going through IVF right now and my husband is deployed so he gets a whole lot of….

“going to get busy with the doctor”

“our eggs fertilized. Apparently your swimmers like my eggs but they are too lazy to do the work on their own and needed a ride”

“got a date with the DR…you know I am going to put out”

This one takes the cake….he said he questioned why he married me after (in a joking way)

“My girlie inside bits are like Egypt….I was born and put into power, my ovary over threw me by producing a giant cyst and then was removed from power, we voted in the DR who made changes (extra hormones) and this has pissed off the uterus so it is fighting back with cramps that would kill a horse”


Post # 6
115 posts
Blushing bee

“You smell like noodles, we should be healthier” 

“Do you remember when I had my period last?”

“Have you ever punched/kicked someone in the face?”

“I’m going to moisturize you in your sleep”

Post # 8
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

My DH has a skin condition on his butt. So I’m CONSTANTLY going:

“Do you need me to lotion your sad little bottom?”

Post # 9
2115 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Actual conversation we’ve had: (Note: Luna is one of our cats)

*Luna the cat enters and is meowing and begging for food relentlessly*

Me: What’s that Luna? You’re fasting, you say?

FI: Fasting? Why would she be fasting?

Me: For religious Purr-poses…

FI: *with a laugh and eye roll* And what religion is she?

Me: *brief pause* …CAT-olic!!!!

We both cracked up. This convo came out of NOWHERE.

Post # 10
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We break out into song “Pop that coochie pop pop that coochie baby” and we dance about thrusting our junk around. 

All the time. It’s amazeballs. 


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