Shut It Up Pact (SIUP) 2017

posted 7 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee

Spoke about it with my SO yesterday… I won’t be bringing it up again. We had an interesting weekend, which prompted the conversation. 

Gonna stay busy with work (now that it is tax season) and studying (for a professional certification). I am also working on lowering my DTI and all things finances related. 

Post # 3
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Hi becks90 :  I have spoken with you on a few other threads! Let’s do this! I pledge that am going to keep silent until May 31 (we have already talked recently and I expressed my expectations), which will be when I am getting very close to my walk date. 

So becks90 and armychica06 what are your stories? 

Post # 4
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

becks90 :  So y’all I’m already having a weak moment, but it also has to do with what was brought up in a thread about my personal situation. I think my boyfriend needs to elaborate more about the reasons that he is not ready and I need to elaborate more to him about resons that I am ready/feel that I need this as we haven’t discussed that very much. 

I did have a slip up last night. One of our mutual close friends just got engaged. She is aware of how I feel, so she didn’t text her feelings about it to me, but texted them to my BF about how she is dreading planning a wedding/hates the attention/would rather elope. Of course my BF tells me and I’m like “yeah, I can see why she didn’t text me, I wouldn’t be very sympathetic, she’s lucky.” If he understood what I implied there, that might have been a pretty bad burn… :/ Oops…

Post # 7
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee

bee45678394 :  We have been dating for a year and a half (almost) now. He is 37 and I am 32. He seems like he is thinking of it a lot but now is just bad timing. His father died in the last three weeks and we have had to deal with other life issues. Unfortunately I won’t consider moving in together until we are engaged so it just it is just a waiting game. We already discussing wanting to be married to one another so I am just waiting for him to propose. My son has been talking about it too- he wants us to get married and move in together. 

Post # 8
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee

bee45678394 :  so this is your first dollar? I will be honest- not talking about it is hard because this is such an exciting step. I think you bringing it up in that context was fine though since he mentioned it. 

becks90 :  hopefully he will kick the payments up and soon. We don’t have “forever”

Post # 9
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

armychica06 :  So yeah, I think this is going to have to be my first dollar, but I am taking notes on what needs to be discussed that hasn’t yet… 

Ex. I am running out of patience, and I am okay with waiting, but I need to know WHY I am waiting and you’re “not ready yet” Also probably ask where he sees us in the next year. We have talked about marriage a few times (I was always the one to bring it up) and it was very general. If I am going to wait, I need some more specifics. 

Post # 10
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee

From what I learned- it is a feeling they get. When they get it, they get excited about being married. They initiate talks and everything else. 

Hope he feels ready soon, bee!

Post # 12
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee

becks90 :  I don’t think so. But I have a strong feeling it will happen before the end of this year. He has been acting funny lately so I wouldn’t be surprised if it is within the next month or so. But not to get my hopes up- end of this year, beginning of next year is what I think 

Post # 13
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee

So he brought it up in a roundabout way today… confirmed before the end of the year… 

Post # 14
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

This is my first post, but I’m joining the pact! 🙂 My SO and I have been together for about a year and we recently moved in together. We have definitely established that we are in it for the long haul (he told me I was “the one” about 5 months into the relationship, such a sweetheart), and we came up with a definitive timeline this weekend. I said I’d like to get engaged in the next 6-14 months and have a 1-1.5 year engagement, and he said he’d like to get engaged in the next 12-15 months with a 1 year engagement… So approximately the same page, especially with regards to the end goal of when we want to get married! The last time we talked about timelines was a couple months ago, and he initially said he didn’t want to get engaged for another 2 years, so I’m happy that he’s warming up to the idea and moved his ideal timeline closer to mine.

I really have no idea why I feel so impatient about getting engaged/married lately… It feels like a ticking biological clock but has nothing to do with wanting kids, just a higher level of commitment! Plus I’m youngish (early-mid 20s) so I have no idea what my hurry is. Regardless, I need to stop talking about it and just let things progress naturally. We’re on the same page, we have a great relationship, I have no reason to doubt that things won’t happen the way we’ve discussed. Reading stories on here of women whose SOs lie and don’t follow through on timelines has really gotten in my head, I think… I just have to trust my SO and trust the process and not say a single word that has to do with marriage for at least a couple more months. This thread will hopefully help hold me accountable! 

Post # 15
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

AAH! I told myself I would “Shut it up” starting Feb 1, but lately he’s been the one talking about it! Which in turn makes me go all in depth about it with him yell. Ok starting today 2/9 im zipping it 100% even if he brings it up!

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