- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
This is just a bit of a vent. I am starting to get pretty impatient, however I feel I’m doing a good job of keeping it under wraps in recent times. I had a big chat with my bf just over a week ago to find out what was stopping him (if he KNOWS I’m the one, and KNOWS we need to get things sorted, what on earth is holding him back?). I heard an interesting revelation.
Back in the days when we were first together (during our first year) his mum was under a lot of pressure. She hadn’t been working due to a knee injury from a car accident a couple of years previous which really limited her getting about, which got her down a bit. She had also put on a little (not loads) weight from not being able to be as active. She didn’t know me so well as BF and me were away at uni and knew each other really well, but I was very shy around her on the occasions I did come to visit.
Every now and again she used to say things that really hurt bf about me "I don’t know why you’re with her", "It won’t last" etc. This really upset him and they had a few rows at home (including at Christmas), even I’d noticed the odd subtle comment and asked him about it a few months later. Now to my knowledge I hadn’t done anything wrong, and figured that was part of the problem – not doing anything. I was nice as pie to her the next time I stayed at his, I took a deep breath and spent some time with her, chatted to her and listened to her tell me family stories.
Ever since then everything has been fine, she’s always been welcoming even before all this happened, but now it feels less like she’s putting a face on it all. There have been no comments ever since, his mum lost a bit of weight, can now move about better and has a job she enjoys.
BF is concerned that she’ll ‘flip’ and go on a downer if he just proposed to me and then told them. I’m not even sure if they know his intentions for me, but he is now starting to talk to his mum (and dad who is a little less volatile) about wanting to be with me for the long term, and eventually getting round to the point of wanting to propose to me. Being a single child (who at 28 is still mothered a bit by her) I can see that she’ll be sad to see him go as he’ll be moving closer to me (100 miles) I’m not going to steal him from her, I’d be quite happy to go and spend a weekend with them.
Anyway, the point of all of this is I’m just going to keep my mouth shut and let everything unfold as it should. Mentioning engagements and marriage and wedding things isn’t going to help (or endear him), so I’m going to keep my mouth zipped! I shall try not to get exited about 22nd August (We joke about keeping track of how many month’s we’ve been together, this will be our 40th – his response "oooh that’s a nice number…40" and then looking thoughtful) and just let him do his thing. I just hope he does it in time for me to organise things right!