Post # 1
Any shy brides out there? I am extremely shy and have social anxiety, so much that i am having a wedding of only 15 (unless i change my plans once again). I did think of having a larger wedding maybe 30-60 people (to me thats a large wedding). But due to my social anxiety i don’t know if i could handle that.
Even if we were having a bigger wedding there would be so many traditions i wouldn’t want to do. I wouldn’t have any dancing, and i have a big loud family that loves dancing. It would be more like a luncheon. I wouldn’t do cake cutting (watching us cut the cake) or feeding eachother cake, i wouldn’t do the bouquet toss or the garder toss. There’s so many usual wedding traditions that cause of my social anxiety i just wouldn’t do.
Any other shy brides just do away with those traditions?
Post # 3
@Allie99: I’m pretty shy, but I managed to get through our huge wedding day okay. That being said, I am totally jealous of your little intimate wedding – I think it’s totally cool to do away with the traditions! It’s your wedding day, and you should be comfortable!! 😀
Post # 4
If i were to even invite more relatives and make the guest list 30 or so, i feel my relatives would really hate it cause there would be no drinking and dancing, no first dance, no father/daughter, mother/son dances. Thats just not something i would want to do. In fact both of my dad and stepmother’s relatives have never been to a wedding where there is no drinking and dancing. I sometimes feel if I’m doing away with all the wedding traditions (cake cutting, feeding eachother cake, dancing, bouquet and garder toss) whats the point in having a wedding. While it may be a wedding, its not the one in the traditional sense. Its more like a wedding ceremony and then a lucheon/gathering afterwards.
Post # 5
Im very very shy, and have ALOT of social anxiety, my heart actually feels like it’s going to explode when I call somewhere I’ve never called before [like for instance, a wedding venue]. I have NO idea why I’ve always been this way.
We are having a smallish wedding 45-60 people, we aren’t cutting alot of the traditions but we are chopping some of them down. Our ceremony will be no longer than 20 minutes, including the bridal party marches… our first dance will be around 1 minute, then the DJ will call other couples to the dance floor [our parents, the bridal party, then everyone else].
We will be doing a bouquet toss, garter toss, & dollar dance.
I THINK I’ll be okay because I’m not shy, at all, ever around my family. It’s just around people I don’t know.
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
We were planning to elope but then our parents wanted to be there and grandparentsand etc so now it’s court wedding with dinner at their house e___e I’m very shy, don’t even have friends Lol, but what’s going to get me through that is knowing it’ll be over soon. Hopefully we can get a small cake or something, but it’ll be very casual so i hope i don’t have to cut it, and we’re just going to skip all the traditions.
Post # 7
@jenilynevette: I am the EXACT same way! I am totally dreading the larger wedding we are having….guest list is at 325ish and we are expecting about 250-260. I am not dreading the reception, but the walk down the isle and the speaking out loud in front of everyone at the ceremony…
Post # 8
@hmmtmar: Oh gosh! I’d die. No really, I’d freaking keel over and have a heart attack.
I hope you know most of the people there!
Post # 9
If you really want a ceremony at home, then just do what makes you and your fiance happy. Don’t share details unless you’re 100% sure the person will support your choices. Learn the key phrases for unsolicited commentary, such as ‘What a lovely suggestion, I’ll keep that in mind’ and ‘That’s great advice, I’ll run it past my fiance’. Be able to repeat them with a smile, and follow it up with a subject change.
Don’t follow the traditions unless YOU want to. Garter tosses ick me out, so we’re not doing it. Plus I have this totally irrational terror that in the process of dress lifting, someone might see that I have shapewear on. Stupid and irrational. Don’t care. Not doing it. We’re not doing the bouquet toss because as of right now, there will be 4 single women attending. One of them is 80+.
I think a luncheon will be fun, you typically don’t see dancing at that hour and as long as it’s an an appropriate time, no one will expect anything different. If you want to do a luncheon with no dancing at 6pm, you’ll get some raised eyebrows. Plus it’ll be less expensive! Bonus!
Post # 10
@jenilynevette: I know a huge chunk of the people coming, but still…to walk down an isle and have 100 or so people stand up and turn around and stare at you!…Ah! Total anxiety!
Post # 11
@jenilynevette: +1 this is me to a T!
I’m soooo shy and get such anxiety going to certain places. I hate attention! I have no idea how I’m going to handle practically being center of attention on our wedding day! Not to mention, Fiance is the complete opposite, he is so outgoing!!
Post # 12
@hmmtmar: LOL. I’m probably going to shuffle down the aisle with a mortified look on my face.
@littlemiss511: My fiance is SUPER outgoing as well! He’s not shy AT ALL. EVER! I have no idea how he does it. He can’t understand why I’m so shy.
He’s the type of person who doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, meanwhile, I’m crying in the corner! [Okay not really, but you get the idea!]
Post # 13
@jenilynevette: same with us! I have no stinkin’ idea how he does it!
Post # 14
I’m pretty shy, and whilst I’ve been working on it for the past few years (a combination of dating my Fiance and working in a job where I have to deal with the public on a daily basis has forced me to come out of my shell quite a bit) there’s definitely things that I do not want on our wedding day)
We’re looking at 100 guests max and I definitely don’t want any more. Walking down the aisle in front of people doesn’t scare me but trying to make conversations with strangers does. I’m even considering not inviting my aunt and cousins because I haven’t talked to them in years and years. (Might have to have a chat with my dad about that). I really just want it tobe the people that we’re closest to only. Doing a first dance doesn’t appeal to me (either we awkwardly slow dance for 3 mins or we learn a choreographed dance – no way to both!) so I was thinking we’d just put a good dancing song on and invite everyone onto the floor to join us. No way am I doings garter toss either. And having a head table doesn’t fill me with joy either – maybe a sweetheart table instead.