Siblings not being supportive of no kid wedding

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee

@scorpion:  What exactly do they say when you point out how they didn’t invite kids to their weddings? How can they defend it?

Post # 5
Member
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

To be perfectly honest, I never heard of kid-free weddings until I came to WB. And in my half centurey on the planet, I have never attended a kid-free wedding and I have been to well over a hundred weddings in my lifetime.  Many families view weddings as family events and if that was the case here, I would be more understanding. But since THEY had kid-free weddings, they certainly should be tolerant of you wanting one. There are such things as baby-sitters.

Post # 6
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Do your siblings live close by?  What do your parents think? 

Post # 7
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@scorpion:  what you do is tell them nicely but firmly to put a sock in it. you are not having kids at the wedding, it’s been discussed and settled, they need to accept it and remember their OWN kid fee weddings and stop being such raging hypocrites, it’s one stinking night, get a sitter and deal, case closed, stop bringing it up.

If they do anyway, ignore them and change the subject.  If your special snowflake brother says he’ll show up with his ill behaved kid, sweetly reply you would hate to ask them to leave.

Post # 8
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ditto with the pp. Stop debating the issue with them. Tell them the decision has been made and that’s all there is to it. They have plenty of time to get a sitter.

If they  bring up the subject, tell them you are not discussing it  and change the subject or walk away.

Post # 9
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Zhabeego:  +1

I am sorry you have this much push back on this issue. It is beyond rude for them to continue acting as they are. It also sounds like they are not thinking of the best interests of their children. FI says kids that young have no place at an evening wedding.

Post # 11
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think you don’t have to continue explaining your decision to them. You have told them your reasons and they just argue with you.

Because you are close with them, perhaps you can just tell them honestly that their attitude is hurting your feelings! 

Post # 12
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have plenty of time to choose BM’s. Let the dust settle for a while and see whether you still want to ask them or not, or whether they would want to participate.

Post # 13
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

@scorpion:  I am all for no kid weddings – our last DD to be married had one.  I just want to chime in from the POV of a grandparent.  You have already decided these grandparents can and will babysit these children.  This is a bad approach.  I have 6 grandkids and I am not on call so my DDs can attend a friend’s wedding.  If I am free it isn’t a problem, but especially in the Summertime (and ESPECIALLY 4th of July weekend which is your wedding), I’m all about getting away for the weekend and getting together with friends.  My girls would be sorely disappointed to think I will cancel my plans so they can attend a wedding.

 

I don’t mean that to sound so harsh, but it pushes a button when I see someone post that there are grandparents who can babysit.  We aren’t built-in babysitters!

 

Again – I totally support your idea of a kid free weekend, but don’t count on knowing who can babysit those kids you aren’t inviting.  I quite enjoy kid free weddings!

 

Post # 14
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@scorpion:  Grr. I don’t what to say except stand your ground.

While I advocate making an exception for nursing infants (who don’t run around, and are hard to babysit), there is no need to make an exception for 2 and 4 year olds. Their parents should get a sitter, which I assume they do on some other occasions anyway. Your brother and sister are being ridiculous and I wish you luck.

@HisIrishPrincess:  +1. Your parents could be important in this. What do they think? EDIT: Oh good. Well maybe they can (also) speak to your brother and sister.

Post # 15
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

I also wanted to say you should wait quite a few months before choosing your bridal party.  spend some time on a bridal party board and read about all the brides who want to fire bridemaids because relationships have changed.

Hold fast to your no kid wedding and let the dust settle.  Then, in a few months, ask them to be in the wedding if things are going well.

Post # 16
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would have one more discussion with each of them. Then ignore them and plan your wedding and refuse to discuss it with them.  Don’t let them suck the joy out. 😀 

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