(Closed) Sibling’s Weddings 2 Weeks Apart

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should my best friend's fiance's brother (& his fiance) change their wedding date?
    Yes : (21 votes)
    78 %
    No : (6 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2342 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Wow, that is kinda rude!  You would think that because they’ll be SILs soon that the other bride would consider consulting your BFF.  What did the bothers think of the situation?!  The other bride sounds kinda selfish and seems like she’s trying to still your BFF spotlight too!  I’d watch out for the girl!

    In the filipino culture siblings don’t get married in the same year (it’s a superstitious rule). 

    Post # 4
    Member
    3979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Oh crap… I didn’t read the poll title right! I accidentally voted “no” they shouldn’t change their date! I actually meant NO your BFF shouldn’t change her date.

    That is bad taste & very inconsiderate of her guests feelings. Since your best friend selected her date first, I think she should talk to her FSIL about changing her date.

    So now his brother won’t attend your BFF’s wedding because he’s on his honeymoon & can’t afford to travel for their wedding because he’s paying off his own wedding? Seriously… his FI is a cow! I can’t believe she’d do that… I really hope they change the date so your BFF and her FI can have their destination wedding w/ all of their friends & family there!

    Post # 5
    Member
    11327 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Ugh. Crappy situation. Is there some reason that that the other brother HAS to have the wedding that weekend? If there is not a really really good reason, I’d say its wrong.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    That sucks. Really, really sucks. *hugs*

    This happened to us. A family member of my FI’s got engaged several weeks after us, but planned their wedding for right before ours, after we had announced our plans and finalized our contracts with our venue, which couldn’t be changed. For his family, our wedding was a destination (as in a very long drive or a flight). So, of course, people had to choose one, and because they had to travel less for the other one, the majority picked that one, and we were kind of left in the dust. It was truly devestating for a while, and even though we eventually got over it, it still hurts when I think about it.

    The sad part is, this family member wasn’t even phased by it. Not that a couple should plan their wedding around other people’s feelings, this particular situation, I thought, needed more sympathy.

    So now, our guest list is very unbalanced. My FI’s side is about 30 percent, and mine’s about 70 percent. I feel awful for the way his family’s treated him, but what can ya do, right? This situation caused a LOT of hurt feelings in his family and some family members aren’t even talking because of it (the other wedding was, umm, quite forced to say the least), and the people attending our wedding were appalled that the other couple scheduled theirs when they did.

    Post # 7
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    They absolutely should change it, how incredably rude!! Even though my FH and I wanted to get married right away, we agreed to have a 1.5 year engagement just so there could be a 6 month time gap between my wedding and my sisters. I can’t believe the nerve of them..

    Post # 8
    Member
    7976 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Woah, pretty inconsiderate…

    course, I can’t help but wonder if it was the other bride coming to us saying “Our wedding is such and such, it’s not our fault it took them forever to pick a date, this is what works best for us…” we wouldn’t all be saying “You’re totally in the right!”

    Have they sat down to discuss their concerns about having the weddings so close? I think finding out BIL and FSIL’s reasons should be step one. 🙂

    Does stink to think people might have to miss out though. 🙁 Maybe BIL/SIL could get married the day after and mooch off the travel expenses that way… double destination wedding weekend? no? haha… okay, bad idea!

    Post # 9
    Member
    129 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010 - Stage 6 Steiner Studios

    This situation really sucks! Unfortunately, the FSIL has no obligation to your BFF — it’s not a great way for her to start the relationship either! Most likely FSIL won’t change the date, nor can your BFF really ask her to? There might have been other constraints (her family’s availability, the venue, cost, etc.)

    I think the best thing to do is for your BFF to send out save the dates and invitations waaaay ahead of the other wedding. In the end the family that wants to go to the destination will go, and the ones who don’t will use the first wedding as an excuse. But that way only the guests that want to go will be there and enjoy it the most. And the fact that they told your BFF that her wedding is going to be their honeymoon is just so…annoying. I hope your BFF and her fiance go elsewhere for theirs!!!

    Post # 10
    Member
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Wow.  I can’t believe their Mom hasn’t stepped in and “suggested” there be more time between weddings.  That is a lot to ask family to travel to both weddings so close together or even worse – to choose which wedding they will go to.

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