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I would be very upset if I were you. I would sit him down and tell him that you two need to have at least one evening together if not an entire day together. You don't always have to go out for dinner and a movie, you could do something that involves hobbies that one of you has or try new things together.
I applaud you for being a stay at home mom, I don't think I could ever do that.
Of course you have the right to be upset!
I personally don't do well with being cooped up in a house every day. I couldn't do the stay at home mom thing. You need to get out more and you need to connect with other humans besides your kids. For instance, other moms! Find the hot spot in your area for moms to hang out and do things like discuss family, crafts, books they've read etc etc.
You also need to sit your husband down and tell him you need more romance for the two of you. Set up date night without anyone else there. Start with once a month if that's possible. Write it down on the calendar and have him make reservations. He may be reluctant if a little bit of the fire has died down between you, but entice him with charm, your good looks, etc and use your feminine wiles to make him eager to go out with you.
OH! and make sure and flirt with him when you go out!
I totally agree with @Tunacupcakes: and her advice. He needs to respect what you do just as much as you respect what he does. Maybe he doesn't understand how isolating it can feel to be at home 24/7 with only children really to interact with most of the time. I definitely think you two need to ahve a serious heart-to-heart but you need to do it when you're calmer and can be more clear with your points, rather than emotional. If you're emotional, he'll probably just discount a lot of what you're saying as "hormones" or some bs. I definitely would be upset in your position.
Hold it. Look at your own behavior for a second, OP. It's unpleasant to spend time with a person who 'bitches so much'. Sure you're frustrated but being unpleasant about it is not going to make your husband want to spend more time with you. Inviting his brother along to dinner is evidence of his own frustration.
Try talking to him about your feelings instead of complaining about the situation.
@Introvertere: Ok first off you don't know what your talking about..
2nd I bitch because he is never around ,working is one thing but when you have a day off spend it with your kids I'm not asking him to spend time with me ..
And Maybe I wouldn't bitch if I got a break once and a while .
And for him inviteing his brother out with us you have no clue what your talking about he did that because he thought I wanted to be with other adults no because he didn't want to be alone with me..
If you don't think he wants to be alone with you, I think the two of you need to consider counseling. It isn't going to be a good environment for your kids if the two of you can't even be alone together.
I do believe it is time to leave the kids with HIM and go out for a nite with the girls!
@juliesprague: Are you explaining why you feel the way you do, instead of just cmplaining about his actions? Because I think most guys, if they understand the why of our feelings, totally get it. It's just when we complain and expect them to be able to connect the dots on their own that things go astray (most of the time),
I'm sorry you're going through that, it must be tough. I just wanted to say I think you are a remarkable woman to be taking care of 5 children, a husband, and a home. Please try and find the time to take care of yourself too. I hope you can sit yur husband down and tell him your frustrations, and how you are really feeling. Goodluck!
@MissAsB: I was saying he invited his brother because he thought I wanted to be out with another couple
@bluespurrs: lol I wish he can't stand to be with the kids for an hour while I go to the store..
@crayfish: I do tell him but it seems to go in one ear and out the other..lol.. I sometimes feel like he is my 6th child
Oi. I'm going to suggest counseling!
This seems to be a multifaceted problem that could use the help of someone who is a professional.
@Cash000: thank you ..I really don't think people understand that being a stay at home mom is a full time job that never ends,People think oh you get to stay home must be nice while I'm thinking wow you get to go to work that must be nice.
lol I wish he can't stand to be with the kids for an hour while I go to the store..
Um...that sounds like a real problem to me. They're his kids too, even if you're the primary caretaker. (which, HOLY JEEZ, that is not an easy job with 5!!!)
At least if his reasoning for inviting his bro was that you'd want to talk to other adults, that's a good sign - it means he realizes that it's isolating to be only with children day in, day out. Even if it wasn't what you wanted that night, I'm glad he at least gets that.
But he needs to give you a respite. It is not good for you or for the kids for you to be with them every hour of every day. They need to see you having a life beyond them, even if it's just going out for coffee with a friend for an hour.
Put it to him his way: He gets to leave his job at the end of the day. You NEVER do. You need your time off as much as he does.
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So I am at stay at home mom of 5 which I love but I'm so sick of being stuck in this house 24 7 with them . My hubby get's 1 day of a week which would be today (saturday) do you think he's home nope not at all. I'm so sick of being by myself all the time .. I mean don't get me wrong ,I'm thankful for everything he does but he still gets to get out of the house everyday,I called him the other night at work and TOLD Him we were going out to dinner he said fine then he calls his brother and invites him and his girlfriend out with us.. I mean really come on ,can't I just have one night? So right now it's almost 8 and he has been out all day with him bother and Once again I'm mad.. the Problem is he doesn't see why I bitch so much ,I try not to but I never get a min to myself . Wouldn't you bitch too??... What do you all think Don't I have the right to be Upset?? Ok sorry so long had to vent..