the cutest little birds!
more by nashgirl
wedding jewelry
Alt. names for MOH?
more in Bridesmaids
Bubbles for Flowergirl?
Have to move the ENTIRE wedding
more in Boards
First gifts off registry!

sick bridesmaid

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    nashgirl    Sept 22, 2007   Nashville, TN

    So it's two days until my wedding on Saturday.... and I got a call from one of my bridesmaids last night (one of four), and she says she regrets to say that she can no longer attend the wedding due to illness. 


    I'm freaking out.... of course I understand if she is sick and feel as though I'm selfish for being upset about the fact that she is no longer going to be there.... that the bridesmaids and groomsmen are going to be lopsided, that i no longer have an even number of BMs for pictures.... and of course, disappointed that one of my best friends is going to miss one of the most important days in my life.

    I have the option of having someone stand in her place, but do you think that would be too weird? Especially considering that I have already printed the programs, etc.?

    I had a complete emotional breakdown about all of this (and I think just the wedding stress caught up with me finally) last night.... anyone else ever run into a situation like this?

     
    2.
    Member Icon
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    MissBlushing    September 2008   Philadelphia, PA

    1.  DON'T FREAK OUT -- I'm sure that's easier said than done at this stage, but as unfortunate as it is that she can't be there, it will be fine.... I promise!

    2.  I don't think you should have anyone take her place.  That is kind of a kick in the face to whatever "stand-in" you might ask (like "you weren't my first choice but will you fill in at the last minute since we already have the dress?").  People may notice that their were 4 BMs listed in the program and only 3 there, and if anyone asks, you just tell them the 4th BM got sick and couldn't make it.  No biggie.  (And honestly, only the women read the programs )

    3.  I also don't think you should worry about having a lopsided bridal party.  I will be having one of those (albeit by choice), but it really doesn't matter.  I was just in my brother's wedding and there were 3 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen (also by choice) and it looked fine. Most people didn't even notice, because it was the bride and groom who were the center of attention, and not the bridal party!

    4.  Don't worry about having an even number of bridesmaids for pictures.  Any good photographer can make any number of attendants work in terms of how it looks in photos.  Besides, I like asymmetrical things

    You'll be fine.... I hope your friend is feeling better soon, and I hope you have a magnificent wedding day!  This is just one of those things that you can't control, and in the grand scheme of things it will not affect your day if you just leave things as they are and work with them.   

     
    3.
    Member Icon
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    Melanie    11/17/07   Kentucky

    At my cousin's wedding, one of is groomsmen was in Iraq and couldn't be there, so he left the hole there.  Another person was short a bridesmaid and laid the missing bridesmaid's bouquet in her place and acknowleged that she couldn't be with them that evening.  I think one of the other bridesmaids carried the bouquet down and put it in her spot.  It still honors your BM, and fills a small void.  Don't worry about uneven numbers - It's quite a common thing nowadays.  Don't let it stress you out, everything will still turn out fine and your the day will be great!

     
    4.
    Member Icon
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    kim    8-4-07  

    two days before the wedding? I'm sorry to hear that!

    That's too short of a notice to have someone fill in, and not to mention, rude to the fill-in as well as to the sick girl.. 

    It's okay if there is no symmerty! You're the center of attention, and no one will even notice. Don't let stuff like this get you down two days before! relax and enjoy the day!

     
    5.
    Member Icon
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    acklesgrl      

    I agree with the others... I don't think you should have a "fill-in". It's really rude to the the original bridesmaid and to the fill in. If I were asked to be a fill in, I would be really upset.

    We are not going to have equal numbers of attendants. At first I was worried about how it'd look in pictures. plus everyone else kept on telling us how it's not "done," how we had to either add more attendants or cut some attendants so we could have equal numbers. After thinking through it, we decided to stick with our original attendants and not worry about what others might think. We want people who stand by us to be people who mean something to us, so we didn't want to add people just for the sake of having equal attendants. 

     I understand how stressed out this might be for you, 2 days before the wdding... but as kim mentioned above, you and your FI will be the center of attention, and most likely noone will notice. 

     good luck sick bridesmaid :  wedding stress bridesmaid Icon Wink

     
    6.
    Member Icon
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    MsYuMMie       NYC

    oh no sorry to hear about that! i don't think you have to worry about lopsided bridal party, one of the groomsmen can walk down the aisle alone or with the ringbearer. I don't think it's a good idea to find a replacement b/c adding someone new 2 days prior to the wedding might cause more problems on the actual day. unfortunately things always pops up but try to think positively and make the best out of it, don't stress, just have fun that day! good luck!!

     
    7.
    Member Icon
    Member
    534 posts
    Busy bee
    smartl    August 23, 2008   Vancouver, BC

    That is really unfortunate that she can't come, but don't freak out.  Just tell everyone she was sick and couldn't make it and they'll understand.  These things happen!  I do like the suggestion of having someone carry her bouquet and lay it in her place, but don't have anyone fill in for her.  You'll be disappointed years later to see some random fill-in there.

     
    8.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    radish    August 18, 2007   Chicago, IL

    One of my bridesmaids got kidney stones the day before the wedding and couldn't be there.  We just carried on and were short one bridesmaid.  As sad as I was that she couldn't be there, it really didn't ruin anything.

    Honestly, no one cared that there was an "uneven" number of guys/girls.   We just had the one groomsman walk down the ailse alone right before the maid of honor (who also walked along b/c best man was already at the altar).  For the recessional, he walked our mothers out, one on each arm.  Everyone thought it was cute.

     
    9.
    Member Icon
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee
    nashgirl    Sept 22, 2007   Nashville, TN

    thanks for the advice, guys.... turns out, i got a call from said bridesmaid this morning and she was at the airport and on her way here for the wedding! she's not feeling much better, but decided to just try to come anyway... PHEW....!!!!

     
    10.
    Member Icon
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    MissBlushing    September 2008   Philadelphia, PA

    Wow, now THAT is a true friend :-)  I hope she feels better in time for your wedding, and I hope that you can relax and have a spectacular day!

     
    11.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,490 posts
    Bumble bee
    Sweeney2Be    Aug 23, 2008   Twin Cities Minnesota

    DOn't worry hun! Lopsided is ok, my former boss had her wedding and one of the groomsmen couldn't make it due to being deployed so instead of replacing him, in a way to honor him - they just had one guy walk down with 2 girls.

    You could fill her in, if someone will fit into her dress - but that might be a long shot, and if it were me I'd bump up a personal attendant if at all possible.

    As for the programs - just have a little announcement made, like at a play but not as cheesy "The role of Bridesmaid number 3 will be played by" lol..... 

     

    You'll be ok, the stress is bound to h appen and I'm sure we'll all have it! Hang in there and have a great day if I don't talk to you before then!!!

    Amber 

     

     

     

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now »

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    hisgoosiegirl 34
    MissBoPeep 29
    Gemstone 24
    Mrs.KMM 24
    Beckster329 23
    beargoose 20
    BetterSherm 20
    Rivendeler 20
    ndreighton 19
    KCKnd2 16

    Bridesmaids

    User Posts Today
    Mashiara 3
    Vegas Pug 1
    pengoala 1
    sarahjc0015 1
    Sweethart 1
    AJester2 1
    kristijana 1
    vorpalette 1
    aussiebee 1
    X0JLYNN03 1
    More