Post # 1
So it’s two days until my wedding on Saturday…. and I got a call from one of my bridesmaids last night (one of four), and she says she regrets to say that she can no longer attend the wedding due to illness.Â
I’m freaking out…. of course I understand if she is sick and feel as though I’m selfish for being upset about the fact that she is no longer going to be there…. that the bridesmaids and groomsmen are going to be lopsided, that i no longer have an even number of BMs for pictures…. and of course, disappointed that one of my best friends is going to miss one of the most important days in my life.
I have the option of having someone stand in her place, but do you think that would be too weird? Especially considering that I have already printed the programs, etc.?
I had a complete emotional breakdown about all of this (and I think just the wedding stress caught up with me finally) last night…. anyone else ever run into a situation like this?
Post # 3
1. DON’T FREAK OUT — I’m sure that’s easier said than done at this stage, but as unfortunate as it is that she can’t be there, it will be fine…. I promise!
2. I don’t think you should have anyone take her place. That is kind of a kick in the face to whatever "stand-in" you might ask (like "you weren’t my first choice but will you fill in at the last minute since we already have the dress?"). People may notice that their were 4 BMs listed in the program and only 3 there, and if anyone asks, you just tell them the 4th BM got sick and couldn’t make it. No biggie. (And honestly, only the women read the programs )
3. I also don’t think you should worry about having a lopsided bridal party. I will be having one of those (albeit by choice), but it really doesn’t matter. I was just in my brother’s wedding and there were 3 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen (also by choice) and it looked fine. Most people didn’t even notice, because it was the bride and groom who were the center of attention, and not the bridal party!
4. Don’t worry about having an even number of bridesmaids for pictures. Any good photographer can make any number of attendants work in terms of how it looks in photos. Besides, I like asymmetrical things
You’ll be fine…. I hope your friend is feeling better soon, and I hope you have a magnificent wedding day! This is just one of those things that you can’t control, and in the grand scheme of things it will not affect your day if you just leave things as they are and work with them.
Post # 4
At my cousin’s wedding, one of is groomsmen was in Iraq and couldn’t be there, so he left the hole there. Another person was short a bridesmaid and laid the missing bridesmaid’s bouquet in her place and acknowleged that she couldn’t be with them that evening. I think one of the other bridesmaids carried the bouquet down and put it in her spot. It still honors your BM, and fills a small void. Don’t worry about uneven numbers – It’s quite a common thing nowadays. Don’t let it stress you out, everything will still turn out fine and your the day will be great!
Post # 5
two days before the wedding? I’m sorry to hear that!
That’s too short of a notice to have someone fill in, and not to mention, rude to the fill-in as well as to the sick girl..
It’s okay if there is no symmerty! You’re the center of attention, and no one will even notice. Don’t let stuff like this get you down two days before! relax and enjoy the day!
Post # 6
I agree with the others… I don’t think you should have a "fill-in". It’s really rude to the the original bridesmaid and to the fill in. If I were asked to be a fill in, I would be really upset.
We are not going to have equal numbers of attendants. At first I was worried about how it’d look in pictures. plus everyone else kept on telling us how it’s not "done," how we had to either add more attendants or cut some attendants so we could have equal numbers. After thinking through it, we decided to stick with our original attendants and not worry about what others might think. We want people who stand by us to be people who mean something to us, so we didn’t want to add people just for the sake of having equal attendants.
I understand how stressed out this might be for you, 2 days before the wdding… but as kim mentioned above, you and your FI will be the center of attention, and most likely noone will notice.
Post # 7
oh no sorry to hear about that! i don’t think you have to worry about lopsided bridal party, one of the groomsmen can walk down the aisle alone or with the ringbearer. I don’t think it’s a good idea to find a replacement b/c adding someone new 2 days prior to the wedding might cause more problems on the actual day. unfortunately things always pops up but try to think positively and make the best out of it, don’t stress, just have fun that day! good luck!!
Post # 8
That is really unfortunate that she can’t come, but don’t freak out. Just tell everyone she was sick and couldn’t make it and they’ll understand. These things happen! I do like the suggestion of having someone carry her bouquet and lay it in her place, but don’t have anyone fill in for her. You’ll be disappointed years later to see some random fill-in there.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2007 - The Wellington House in Fayetteville, NY
One of my bridesmaids got kidney stones the day before the wedding and couldn’t be there. We just carried on and were short one bridesmaid. As sad as I was that she couldn’t be there, it really didn’t ruin anything.
Honestly, no one cared that there was an "uneven" number of guys/girls. We just had the one groomsman walk down the ailse alone right before the maid of honor (who also walked along b/c best man was already at the altar). For the recessional, he walked our mothers out, one on each arm. Everyone thought it was cute.
Post # 10
thanks for the advice, guys…. turns out, i got a call from said bridesmaid this morning and she was at the airport and on her way here for the wedding! she’s not feeling much better, but decided to just try to come anyway… PHEW….!!!!
Post # 11
Wow, now THAT is a true friend 🙂 I hope she feels better in time for your wedding, and I hope that you can relax and have a spectacular day!
Post # 12
DOn’t worry hun! Lopsided is ok, my former boss had her wedding and one of the groomsmen couldn’t make it due to being deployed so instead of replacing him, in a way to honor him – they just had one guy walk down with 2 girls.
You could fill her in, if someone will fit into her dress – but that might be a long shot, and if it were me I’d bump up a personal attendant if at all possible.
As for the programs – just have a little announcement made, like at a play but not as cheesy "The role of Bridesmaid number 3 will be played by" lol…..
You’ll be ok, the stress is bound to h appen and I’m sure we’ll all have it! Hang in there and have a great day if I don’t talk to you before then!!!