(Closed) sick of being alone!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2082 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@mattsgirl813:  I think you need to discuss your concerns with him. Tell him you feel like he isn’t making time for you guys to have “together time”. Since he has a busy schedule you could suggest him setting aside some couple time for just you and him. This would be a time when he doesn’t have work and/or have school, and neither do you, for you to share together.

If he is not willing to do this for the relationship or plans to do it but fails to hold up to his promise, I would strongly suggest reevaulating your relationship and why you want to marry him. I’m sure you’re in love with the person you met. Unfornuately, life gets hectic and to make any relationship work you have to put time and effort in it to keep it going.

 

Post # 4
Member
49 posts
Newbee

He seems like a very ‘go and do’ person. Are there any activities you can do together? Clubs you can join together? You mention you are students- at my university there was a ballroom dance class that met once a week and taught a difference dance each time so you could drop in. Or what about a hobby you can do together?

Post # 5
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

How frustrating!

I think it’s important for him to know that spending quality time is important to you. It sounds like that might not be AS important to him – remember the love languages? If you haven’t read the book, I would recommend it. He needs to understand that this is important to YOU, though it might be for him.

In my experience, when a guy feel overwhelmed, they can just shut down and do things to distract. I know you said you tried taklking to him already, but try the following:

– Sit face to face, knee to knee.
– Start with “I feel…” and tell him how you feel. Once you’re done, ask him if he understood what you just said.
-Instead of saying “we need to spend more time together,” be more specific about what you want and how you’re going to get it. For example, you can say “how about we set aside date night once a week (or twice a week – or whatever)? and say, “for this week, i am free on thursday night.” then go from there.

Good luck!!

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