Post # 1
I’m a regular poster, but lately I’ve been worried about people I know finding my posts (I used to logon through facebook)
I’ve been with my Fiance 3 years, engaged for 2. As indicated in my title, he’s bisexual. Since being with me he’s been monogamous. He’s only ever had ‘proper’ relationships with women…he’s in his early 40s, and has been engaged to a woman, once before in his early 30s.
When he was in the ‘scene’ (for a period of about 3 years before we got together) he became friendly with some gay men, added most of them to his facebook. 90% of the ones he’s met in real life, I’ve met as well. But some of them just can’t seem to get the message that he’s no longer ‘available’…
We had problems with one of his ‘ex male fwb’ trying it on at the start of our relationship…Fiance made it clear to him that he was with me, faithful, engaged, and happy. But some of the others still occasionally send him messages on facebook, send emails, text him…and it’s really pissing me off!
Why can’t they get the message – after 3 YEARS – that he’s in a relationship? His facebook relationship status is ‘engaged to Sekhmet’…bloody hell, even his avatar is a picture of the two of us together!
Just tonight he told me that one of these people had been liking old pictures of him, and had then sent him a message saying ‘Have you gone straight, or am I just confused?’ He’s not replied…he never replies to any of these messages.
But I’m beginning to think that he should….and tell these people to F**K OFF! He gets annoyed if I get upset about it, but after 3 years it’s really beginning to get me down.
Post # 3
It must be frustrating, but maybe if he gave simple reply of “I am with so-an-so now and we happily planning our wedding”. Maybe once the whole thing is cleared the messages will stop.
Post # 4
@ieatunicorns: Thank you for replying. Your message is a good idea, but nothing seems to work. Before he added his family to his facebook (he’s not ‘out’ to his family) he even posted on his wall that our relationship was genuine, he was committed and faithful to me.
Can these people not read???
Post # 5
I agree with him replying to the emails saying he is happily planning his wedding. How would you want him to reply if they were woman pestering him? I’d see it exactly the same way as thats and tell my man to tell them to go away, oh and delete them on Facebook!
Post # 6
If they’re being that obnoxious, he needs to de-friend them. I would treat this exactly the same as Fiance being friends with women who didn’t respect our relationship. It’s disrespectful of him to keep communicating with them when he knows damn well their intents.
Post # 7
@bells219: Thank you both! He thinks replying at all encourages them. He has deleted most of them, I’ve asked him to delete the latest one. And you are both right, to me it is so disrespectful.
Post # 8
Oh man I hope this gets nipped in the bud by the time you get married!
Do you think he secretly enjoys the attention? Or will he not block and people he really knows?
Post # 9
He’s right in saying that replying will encourage them– it’s opening up a means of conversation. He should be blocking anyone that makes him uncomfortable.