Post # 1
We have been married ~7 months and everyone has been going nuts with the “when are you having babies?!?!?!” questioning. I expected the questions, to be honest. My husband is 30 and I’m 26 and most of our friends have kids… I give honest answers, that we are waiting like 4 more years so I can graduate with my doctorate next year and get my career started and secure our financial and living situation.
Seems reasonable to me, right? So why on Earth do most people who ask start down the speech of: “Oh honey, you’ll never make it that long without kids, if you wait until you are financially ready you’ll never have kids, Jesus will bless you with one before you know it, babies just come when they want, you can’t pick the time.” ARGH!!!! WTF. That last one really gets me. I think that I do have the ability to pick when I have kids. It’s called birth control… and I take it PERFECTLY. Yes, I know birth control is not foolproof, but there are other ways as well. Why can’t they just say “good for you, being all responsible about family planning” and move on?!?!
If I had a baby right now I’m pretty sure I could claim medicaid… as much fun as that sounds, I think I’ll wait until I have a good salary, thank you very much. GEEZ
Post # 3
@dresscrazy34: “babies just come when they want, you can’t pick the time.”
Oh my. This just made me laugh out loud. Seriously? People think this? Come on! I say good for you for waiting until you have established a solid career for yourself. God forbid people choose to be responsible!
Post # 4
lol, I know… When I hear things like that, so many sarcastic comments come to mind. Biting my tongue takes all the self control I have 😉 I heard that bolded remark two days ago. She’s a doting mom/grandma of my friend and her kids (one of which was a surprise) so I just smiled and nodded. lol
Post # 5
Oh my gosh! People aggravate me with this baby questions!! You can’t pick the time? Seriously? A lot of these people do not understand the science that goes into making a baby. It just doesn’t happen like that. Don’t mind them.
Post # 6
@dresscrazy34: All I have to say is good for you, being all responsible about family planning!!!!!!!!!!!! Because that is awesome that you guys have decided this and are sticking to it.
Post # 7
Good for you!! And best of luck with your doctorate!
Post # 8
Don’t worry… I have been married less than a month and my mother is already piping up about babies. I am the only girl, her only child married, and the youngest, so my mother is very grandbaby hungry. I feel your pain.
Post # 9
Oh god i know what you mean is soooo annoying, can’t they just ming their own buss…if you wanna wait 4 yrs good for you! It really is no one buss when you decide to have a kid…..is funny how when you are in a long relationship people ask when are you getting married and when you do get married then they as when are you having kids….seriously!?
Post # 10
@Hyperventilate: lol, luckily my mom is one of the only people who doesn’t ask! She says “I’m entirely too young to be a grandma, so you best not force me into it!” (She’s 56)
Post # 11
My SO and I are never having babies, so I will often get the stink eye. I have been asked, “What if you got pregnant?” which leaves me no choice but to reply that I’d have to have an abortion. Nosy people…
Post # 12
I hear ya. My FI and I aren’t even married yet and we are getting “How soon after you get married are you wanting to TTC?” We want to right away because I will be 29 in March when we are married and we are both set in our careers and own our house already, but that’s NOT for every newlywed:) Just tell them you never want kids that will realy get them talking! hahahaha.
Post # 13
The wedding is not until August and I’m getting this too – from my mom who told me i need to lose weight so i can get knocked up faster and from random people I work with. I was at a holiday party at work, holding my BFF’s 7 month old son, and one of the women I know casually says “by this time next year, you’ll have one”. I realize I’m 38 and we will be working oN at plan immediatley (if not pre wedding) but really?????? Can’t we get married first????
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
Funny timing…a few friend who got married a couple weeks after me are hitting their six month anniversary right now. They told me that The Knot sent them an email saying it’s time for them to check out The Bump, their baby site.
I think a simple “we’re not ready to talk about our plans right now” can work.
Post # 15
Me and FI don’t want kids ever. His mother already has babie rabies, and she doesn’t even want him to marry me in the first place? It’s weird. If one more person tells me “you’ll change your mind!” I’m going to strangle them. Or even worse- the threats from his mother that she will cut us out of the will. All of our friends have kids and their lives are crap. Most of them didn’t even stay with the father. My sister has two children and she thought it would “make me change my mind” about having kids. No. It’s so annoying. I have cats, that’s good enough for me.
Next time someone bothers you just say “… you want to know when me and my husband plan on having UNPROTECTED SEX?! You’re gross!”
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2012 - Prairie Production- Chicago (loft)
If one more person asks me Im going to shoot them. I too, am choosing to better myself by starting grad school in the next year or two…so in order to be able to afford a child I’d have to wait until I finish. Which means Ill be in my early 30s. People say thats too old… that you’ll be a better parent when you have them younger. So you want me to go on assistance cause I can’t pay for my own child? So…. you can help me!…that solves the problem! Right? Everyone thinks just because we are married (2months in) it’s time to start the family. Although I want children, my new husband and I arn’t in a position to do it without having to worry about living paycheck to paycheck…. we make less than 50k combined. Who’s going to pay for the childcare while I continue to work two jobs. I have a degree and still not settled in my career yet. Can’t people just leave us alone o we can make sure our new marriages are stable and growing strong before we add people to the population?