Post # 1
I am so frustrated! Last night we had some friends over, one of them being the wife of our best man. She always asks about the wedding plans, and I try to share as many details as I can (we’re still a year away!) She has suggestions on how I could pretty much do everything different, wonders why I am not doing somethings, insists tht we HAVE to have dancing, doesn’t understand why I’m letting people who aren’t in the bridal party sit at the "head table" and cannot believe that I’m trusting my fiance to pick out what all the guys are wearing.
Ironically, the same thing happened last weeked when I began to share details with my Future Sister-In-Law. Both of these women are nice people that I consider my friends.. but they are making me second guess myself and what **I** want on my wedding day, and quite honestly, I feel like telling them to shut up, and if they don’t think my wedding sounds nice or like something they want to go to, then they don’t have to come!!
I am so frustrated.. I feel like I am spending all this money to have a nice, memorable day with our family and friends.. if they aren’t going to like it or have a good time, then I feel like I shouldn’t waste my money on these people!!! Grrr!! I am so frustrated!!
Fiance says I am being too sensitive, that both our Future Sister-In-Law and friend are jealous (they never had a wedding) and to just ignore them. But I’m kinda mad, now, and am having trouble getting over it!! I guess the only solution is to not tell people about my details, but instead keep things very general when they ask me questions, and they will just have to be in the dark. I’m not letting them live vicariously through me if they aren’t going to be supportive. It is just frustrating when you think your ideas are good and then someone comes along and craps all over them.
PS- the only detail that my friend did like was that her husband’s tie with his suit will be blue.. it will look good with his eyes, she says. GRRR!
Post # 3
I can totally relate to what your feeling. I knew that we would have some people like the ones you are describing from the begining because I saw how they treated other friends and family on our circile when they were planning their weddings. So my Fiance and I made the decision not to tell anyone anything, that way if they don’t know then they can’t complain. I haven’t even mentioned colors really…..The way I see it is if people need to know something then I’ll tell them. People know where I stand and some people respect it and others think I’m being **witchy** for doing so but, I really don’t care. I’ve explained it to them in a very nice way and even told people that we want everything to be a surprise…… We are doing what we want and thats the bottom line……
Post # 4
I’m so sorry that you’re facing so much negativity!
If they are going to do nothing but criticize your ideas, which all sound like excellent ones, then I would do what you mentioned and just be very vague and general about it. They can’t criticize that.
I hope it gets better for you soon. Hang in there, it’s your wedding, and it’s going to be fabulous.
Post # 5
Sorry to hear about the negativity! I agree with you Fiance, to some extent they are probably a little jealous. From now on I would just smile and tell them you want some of the details to be a surprise. The change the subject.
It is your wedding and as long as you and your fiance are happy, don’t start second guessing yourself!
Post # 6
Sorry to hear that people are criticizing your wedding…but it may be like you fiance says. They’ve never had a wedding, so they have this image of the Big White Wedding stuck in their heads as being the only way to do things.
Keep your chin up, and don’t second guess yourself! It’s about what you want your wedding to be like, not what others’ idea of what a wedding SHOULD BE. =)
Post # 7
I totally know how you feel, we have gotten a lot of "gentle" criticism about our wedding plans … luckily me and FH are totally in love with our wedding plans, so we just remind people it is our day, and when they see it in action they will see our vision.
It doesn’t really bug me at all, because they clearly just don’t "get it"
Post # 8
I’ve had a few people turn up their noses at the idea of having my wedding 5 hours from our hometown in an airplane hangar. But to be honest I don’t really care if they like my ideas or not. I’m very different in my decorating. I have a red dinning room with purple ceiling and stripes on the walls in the master bedroom. The rest of the rooms are pretty tame and very modern/sleek looking. So my wedding is very unique as well. You need to just smile and say "you know that is a good suggestion I’ll take that into consideration." You never know after a few days you might like some of the suggestions or they could spark a new idea of your own. I guess I’m trying to say keep doing what you are doing and if worst comes to worst if they ask just tell them "The plans are starting to come together" or "I can’t wait to start getting to the details of the wedding I think you’ll like them".
Just remember girls can be caddy so don’t fall into the temptation of being caddy back. Because then they’ll just chalk it up to you being a brideszilla, which you don’t want.
Good luck, sorry I rambled.
Post # 9
I agree with your FH – it sounds as if since these ladies didn’t have a wedding of their own, they’re living vicariously through you, and may have been bitten by the green monster. I like Stacey’s idea – just smile and say, "Thank so much for the suggestion." and leave it at that. If you want to offer less details so that they have less to pick apart, that’s also a good idea. They can be surprised at the wedding!
Post # 10
I totally could have written this post about 4 months ago. It seems like everyone wants *your* wedding to be what *they* want. It is incredibly frustrating. Here’s the thing: the wedding I planned was so much fun, all those complainers had giant smiles and were dancing the entire time.
(Also, just wait until you have a baby. Then it’s not just your friends and family, but complete strangers questioning your every decision. And I’m not exaggerating AT ALL)