Post # 1
I recently got engaged and one of the first questions I was asked at work was “are you pregnant?”. I was appaled at this suggestion as it made me feel as though that was the basis if my engagement and not my love and commitment to my fiance. I felt like these people were cheapening my first few days of excitement.
I have been with my partner for four years, living together for nearly two. We are only young (20) but we both have been working full time for 2 years and supporting ourselves for one year completly independantly.
if i was pregnant we would be extatic and would not feel shame, but the rumors floating arround my work are kinda grating on my happiness!
what were your experiences?
Post # 3
We got engaged and set a date 9 months away so this was a common HILLARIOUS joke because clearly if I was knocked up I’d plan my wedding for within weeks of the due date. (sarcasm).
really though, I think people are just trying to be funny. All you can really do is inwardly roll your eyes and ignore it. They’ll figure out in 40 weeks this was obviously not a “shotgun wedding”.
Post # 4
I had two people ask me that, and I’m 30 and had been dating my now FI for 2 years! I think its a really lame, not-funny attempt at a joke when people say that. I just laugh and say no, I’m not pregnant, just in love. I can imagine it’s even worse if you’re younger though. Try to grin & bear it!
Post # 5
No, but I’m a bit older than you (29) and have been with my fiance for 9 years. I did, however, get asked if I’d be stopping my birth control as soon as the wedding was over LOL And the answer to that is, no, no immediate plans to stop taking it.
Post # 6
We were not asked that question. That SUCKS that people make comments like that to you! It’s inappropriate, rude, and to my mind, cruel.
If these are rumors at work, and you know who’s talking, I would confront the person and tell them to stop. Also, that may technically be sexual harassment. There was issue at my workplace not long ago that stemmed from a purported pregnancy. I might talk to HR if you feel uncomfortable as well. I am so sorry this is happening to you, it’s uncalled for and sick.
Post # 7
My fiance and I had a whirlwind romance, started dating late May, engaged first of July, will be getting married in October.
I have known him for a few years, but we have actually only been dating for a few months, so you can imagine the speculation. I’m 37 and got the whole, “you can’t possibly be ready to marry someone in just a few months–your biological clock has you distracted” thing. Or, like you, got the “when are you due” comment.
Yep, some people will be that way, unfortunately. So, no matter what your age, there will be some people that will be snarky. Or “concerned” for you. Blah. As of right now, I am of the mind, that when I want your opinion, I will give it to you. ha. Bad attitude, I know.
Post # 8
Yup, but it was our friends busting our balls … no harm in it as i know they weren’t being malicious.
Post # 9
Yeah, a couple of his friends said it as a joke… it’s not funny. Not like “that’s so mean, that’s not funny”, but there is simply nothing humorous in it at all.
I have no idea why your co-workers would say that to you! How obnoxious.
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I can’t answer with any of your poll suggestions. Yes, people asked this, and once we were close to getting married and then when we were married, eveery single time I called my mom and said anything along the lines of “guess what?” she said, “You’re pregnant!”
But, we are not that young (I’m 29, he’s 32, 28/31 enganges, 28/32 married) and had been together for over 3 years when we got engaged and have known each other since high school. And, I don’t particularly find it rude. People are curious and this is a common response. No biggie.
Post # 11
We are planning a July wedding, but one day just decided it was time since his job will be taking him away with no contact for awhile. We went to the recorder’s office 9/17 and signed the papers. No ceremony, just signing papers. I told my parents and siblings and my littlest sister was the one to ask “Am I going to be an aunt again?” It hadn’t even crossed my mind! Now, I make sure to mention we’re still having our “official” July wedding which keeps the question from coming up.
People always assume crazy things. It makes things easier to justify for some. Sorry you’re dealing with this!
Post # 12
yeah, but it was a joke. I’m 42 and FI is 41. No way are we having kids – and all our friends know it.
Post # 13
I never got this when engaged, but after you’re married…watch out…the pregnancy obsession begins! All I ever hear is unwelcome questions/comments on whether we are pregnant “yet” and if not, when?
Post # 14
@SapphireSun: hahaha i didn’t even think of that but our engagement was 8 months, maybe that is why people wondered? As if getting married in your 3rd trimester is every girl’s dream, lmao.
Yeah it’s just their way of joking about it probably. Try to just laugh it off and try not to let it get to you. I got it as well, maybe because we had only been dating about 2.5 years, but it’s so dumb and I thought it was pretty rude too! Well except when it was from close friends who really did know that we wanted to have a baby right away, so I suppose to them it was a legitimate possibility 🙂 But for people who didn’t know that… super rude!
Post # 15
Yup, we got that same thing because we were 17 at the time. And we used to reply with “No, and we’re not planning to get married for at least another 5 or 6 years yet”. That would shut people up
Post # 16
Never got asked the question, but since I was 7 months pregnant when he proposed it wasn’t really a question anyone needed to ask.