Sick our entire marriage so far, feeling helpless :(

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery

AugustBlossom:  my DH was ill and had different health issues during our engagement.  I felt overwhelmed between planning the wedding and taking care of him. I knew he couldn’t help it But I certainly got “flat” at times! My advice would be to just acknowledge his hard word and kindness. Let him know that all the little sweet things he is doing for you are definitely noticed and appreciated. Tell him what an awesome hubs he is being and that you are the luckiest girl in the world.  

Post # 3
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m so sorry you’ve been so sick 🙁 being ill and chicken pox sucks so much!!! It might not seem like it now but this phase won’t last forever. Our lives tend to go through hills and valleys. It must be frustrating for this to happen right at the beginning of your marriage, but things can only get better!

I’m sure your hubby seems flat because he feels sorry for you and for the situation. Next time he’s sick it can be your turn to pamper him! And that time will surely come!

Other than that, make sure you’re seeing a good doctor *hugs*

Post # 5
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am so sorry to learn of what you have been going through. I can see that it’s so hard on you. My first thoughs are that you may need to ease your worries about your role as a wife and discuss these feelings with your hubby. Let him know how much you appreciate him and that you will get through this together…someday this will all be behind you. It must be so hard, but try to be hopeful and tell him the same. At times he may seem “flat” because he wants to do more for you and is trying to fugure out how. He may feel that he in some way should be able to fix all of this, in many ways this tends to be their nature, but just have a talk about all he is doing and that he is the best. Reassure him that you need to work together (maybe this will take some weight off his shoulders) and that neither of you will have all the answers…ride this out together. Many blessings your way.

 

Post # 6
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

As “the sickie” in the relationship, I get your feelings.

 

However, as my husband put it, he’d much rather be taking care of me and me be sick now, then when we were singe/lived by ourselves.  He’d much rather be taking care of me than have me suffering alone.

 

Life happens, you need to get over the pity party, rest up, do what you can.  If you’re giving 100% that’s all that’s need.

Post # 7
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

AugustBlossom:  sounds miserable, sorry to hear! You are doing the best you can and so is he! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Of course he seems a bit flat, I’m sure he is worried about you and I doubt you’d be a ray of sunshine either if he were the one ill.  You will recover and you guys can do something special to reconnect. 

Post # 8
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

I think you hve to be really careful about compounding the sitution by being full of self-pity. The whole “Feeling sad and hopeless my husband kept trying to find ways to cheer me up, like bring me home nice food and little surprises.” is a little over-the-top. It’s bad enough you’re sick all the time but ‘hopeless’ is a little extreme, ya know?<br /><br />

Keep things in perspective. You are going to be his wife for the rest of your life. This is only right now. Everything is temporary. Keep your chin up and look to the very long future you have together. Being stuck in today is not good for you physically, mentally or emotionally and it isn’t good for your marriage. If you want to do something for your husband and your marriage, don’t give so much power to your very temporary physical situation.

 

Post # 9
Hostess
24457 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry you aren’t doing well.  I am the sick one in our relationship and have been sick with chronic conditions since right before we got engaged.  I hope that you start to feel better and get to the bottom of why you are feeling unwell.  But know that your husband loves you, not just for your body or what you do for him.

Post # 10
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Can to organise to get groceries delivered Buy shopping online? Or, where I live you can order the groceries online but then just pick them up (already bagged and paid for). This would make it easier on you DH and make you feel less useless. 

Feel better soon!

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