(Closed) Sigh .. I think I have finally accepted the ending of a friendship.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I had a best friend since childhood. When I met my then bf (now FI) about 4 years ago, she stopped talking to me or returning my calls. It was heartbreaking and really really left me confused. 4 years later, and I still don’t know why she ended our close friendship so abruptly… I figure it was jealousy, although I can’t be sure. I just hope the best for her and hope she finds her happiness in life. Unfortunately friends come and go, I realize this. But I, like you, had hoped that she would remain in my life forever…

Post # 4
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’ve been on the other side.  My high school friends could write this about me.  It’s not that they did anything wrong or that I hold anything against them, it simply became too hard to remain friends with them with our circumstances.

The ones I am no longer friends with do not drive and definitely looked to me to come up with plans and guide them along.  Basically, they were high maintenance.  As I moved away, had more friends, and a long term relationship, I had less and less time to devote to them.  I finally broke off the friendships, not because they did anything wrong, but because it was too hard to keep them happy.

The friends I stayed close to are low maintenance and have their own lives.  We might go months without seeing each other or even talking, dealing with our own friends and families, and yet when we finally do see each other, it’s as if no time has passed.  It’s not awkward because we get that this is what it has to be.  And that works.

I’m not saying these are your circumstances or relate to you at all.  I merely wanted to share my point of view and why I stopped being friendly with people I was close to, to give you another perspective.

Perhaps she’s merely busy, and she holds no grudge towards you.  Perhaps, after a while, if you reached out to her, she would be more than happy to catch up.

It’s unfortunate, but as we get older and our priorities change, we cannot have the deep connections that we could foster in our academic years. 

Family (which has doubled due to my SO) and my job has become number 1 for me, so the few hours I have left during the week is distributed among the 100+ friends we’ve managed to make.  If I see the same person more than once a month, its a good month.  I’m seeing my best friend this weekend, after not seeing him since Christmas.

Post # 5
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wrote a post about this situation with a friend of mine, last year. You can find it here (it’s easier than re-writing it, lol).

Since then, Darling Husband and I have gotten married. We sent my friend and her husband both a STD (around Christmas ’11), and an invite before the wedding. I never got a response for either. As a matter of fact, it’s been 6+ months since our wedding, and she hasn’t even congratulated me/us… not that I expected her too, but the thought would have been nice.
She just announced that she’s pregnant with baby #2, and makes passive-aggressive posts on FB almost daily, talking about ‘true friends’, and how they can’t take the time to congratulate her/them on important things going on in their life. LOL! I’m tempted to send my own passive-aggressive comment to her in response, but I’m not going to stoop to her level. I made my attempts at keeping the friendship alive for years, and if she can’t pay me the same respect, then so-be-it.

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