I’m sorry bees. I just need to vent. So I have had suspicion that my transmission is going out on my car. I took it to a mechanic and he recommended I not change my transmission fluid. This should have been a red flag but me not knowing anything about cars I thought well maybe its not that bad. Yesterday my car struggled to accelerate on the highway. I’m no mechanic but I KNOW that means my transmission needs work. I’m well aware a transmission costs around $2,000. With our tax refund my FI and and I can technically afford it but he doesn’t want to put the money towards a car he feels is done. So the alternative is to trade it in and take on another car payment. His will be paid off in may. That means he owes around $1,050 on it which isn’t bad but he is the only one that works. I am a full time graduate student which means I literally do not have to time to maintain a part time job.
So to make up for the money, we have to cut out the honeymoon entirely. And we will have to cut the dj, flowers, ceremony decorations, wedding accessories and full dinner (and just serve finger foods). My parents are not contributing to the wedding. This situation makes me so sad because I budgeted and budgeted and even had a contingency budget. But I did not foresee us replacing a car for a couple of years.
And what makes me feel worse is my FI wanted to elope and I wanted to have a wedding with my closest family and friends. I promised my FI that I would budget so we could have a fabulous honeymoon and now we have to scrap it. I know I’m being silly and need to put on my big girl panties but it just sucks. This is not how I imagined my wedding day
Take your car to another mechanic. The tranny doesnt always die, there could be something smaller to fix. How old is the car?
It’s a 2002 RX Lexus. I have an appointment at a transmission specialty shop so maybe I’m being premature… I hope I am.
Hi fellow gradstudent! I understand that it must feel unfair… So, the honeymoon – can you create a honeyfund and ask your guests to contribute towards it?
As for the other things you mentioned – yes, scrap the DJ, I’m sure you can have a great party with music from Spotify or just someone’s shuffle. Flowers, do cheap ones – baby’s breath, carnations, potted plants from a nursery. It really don’t have to cost that much! Not sure what you had in mind in terms of decoration, but is it something you would be able to DIY? As for the food, finger food is fun – I’m sure people will have a great time anyway! Is it possible for you to add to it, with let’s say a home baked cookie station for dessert?
That’s AWFUL! Do you guys live near public transportation? Maybe you can put off getting a new car?
Or maybe you can do a cake and punch lunch reception for all your friends, and take whatever is left of your money and go on a honeymoon with that?
your car probably shouldn’t need a whole new transmission. Maybe it’s low on fluid? I had a leak and mine was acting like that too, and it didnt cost too much. And maybe use an iPod instead of a dj to cut costs? Or what about a brunch wedding or maybe a cocktail hour & finger foods instead of a sit down dinner?
good luck! Hopefully the car repair isn’t too bad. I know what its like though. my first month saving for the wedding I had a $300 car repair and a $300 refrigerator repair. Ugh!
Why not just get a small job on the weekends? I went to grad school full time and had a full time and part time job. Yeah it sucks and I had zero free time because I was either in school, working or studying 24/7 but it paid my rent and bills
it stinks about the car but figure out a way to make some more money… You have a few months And could pretty easily make a few thousand bucks
Some options might be the mall/retail (they have late shifts at night and weekends)
waitress/bartender/hostess ….basically anything at a restaurant
babysitting (if you have no cash you won’t really be going out on the weekend anyways)
No fun! I’l hope it’s not the full tranny. How about a small “minimoon” right after the wedding and then save up for a big, awesome “honeymoon” several months or a year later?
I’m right there with you sister! Grad school and struggling! I second the pp who suggested public transit – can you survive on one car? Or look for a job on the weekends – even if its not in your career field, it will help you with bills and wedding money!
I just wanted to thank each and everyone of you for your suggestions and encouragement. They helped me get through the day yesterday and I’m really trying to get creative with how we are going to achieve our wedding on a budget
We have been talking about a honeyfund. Maybe we can do a minimoon or something.Thanks for the advice
Unfortunately we do not live near public transportation. And where we live it is not safe to take it anyway. But we will definitely be downgrading our catering package.
I checked the fluid. The level and color is fine but I’m taking it in tomorrow. Fingers crossed that it is not something that’s going to break the bank. Maybe I can look into the ipod thing. I think we can rent a sound system for $100
Unfortunately my grad program is set up where I spend 12 hours a week in class, and 20 hours a week doing clinical rotations. Then I have to do 3 hours of therapy or testing in my program’s clinic and 10 hours at my assistantship. The weekends I spend catching up on research, dissertation, clinical cases and assignments for class. It is just not possible to maintain a job when my hours are the way they are. It can be miserable. In the summer I will have some extra time so a job may be possible then. babysitting could work though especially on the weekends. I think that could help a lot
I think a big honeymoon later is what we will have to do. In three years I’ll be making real money so maybe I can get a few days off and take him somewhere fabulous
No public transit nearby and my FI works an hour away so one car would not work at all unfortunately. However he can transfer in May so that may be what we have to do so that we can share a car if need be.
well, if you end up needing a new car, i suggest leasing. i know a lot of people will disagree with me but i don’t care. we are currently leasing our car and it’s saving us over $200/month as opposed to financing it. our payment is $208/month and we have the option to trade it in or purchase it at the end of the lease. we decided to lease because of how much cheaper the monthly payments are. we needed a car but are not in a place to afford a $400/month payment.
I am so glad you suggested that. I was wondering do you have to have a good credit score to lease? My credit score is high but my debt to income kills me every time which makes purchasing a car difficult without a cosigner. I wonder if I’d have the same trouble leasing. Also do you get paranoid about cosmetic scratches and children spilling their drinks etc.?
@imanw: sounds like you are going to be a nurse or something… that would be something that parents would pay more for (vs the teen next door)
you could make a few hundred bucks a month totally under the table this way
@imanw: i have a high credit score and a lot of debt but i didn’t have a problem getting a lease. we had to get it in my name only because my husband has a repossession on his credit history (he was young and stupid and made a mistake). we could’ve added him but it would’ve made our payments really high. we’re not too worried about scratches and things like that. they expect normal wear and tear on the car at the end of the lease. you can ask your car salesperson more about that. it doesn’t hurt to try if it comes to the point where you need a new car.