(Closed) Sigh. In-Law Drama. How should I handle this? (*long*)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Oh punkin, congratulations by the way!  But still, oh punkin….

The holidays make people crazy, it’s a time to gather together and remind each other why we only do it once or twice a year….

I would brush of the festival rain out freak fest…that could have been crossed lines and they assumed that since you were going out, it would be one or the other….so I get that, not the response exactly, but I get it.

And I might get roasted for this, but I really think you pushed the issue with your MIL about who let the cat out of the bag on the baby…first of all, why didn’t you talk to the SIL directly?  That might have saved a little trouble.  Secondly, she told you what happened, there’s no reason to lie about it, at family gatherings a lot can be said and it’s not worth running down who said what, life is too short for that.  I think she handled it pretty well and was trying to be diplomatic and happy about it, but you just kept pushing…if I were you, I would apologize. 

 

Post # 4
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hmmm that is a tricky situation. I’ve never experienced anything similar, but I wouldn’t apologize, at least not yet. I also know many people wait to reveal the pregnancy until they are sure everything’s on track (I plan on doing the same someday). I think you were perfectly within your rights to confront your  MIL about your news getting out. 

I would just try and play it cool like you did today running in to her at church. Be perfectly pleasant and see if she warms back up to you. I think if she or your SIL did share your news, that was completely out of line, but sadly nothing can be done about it now.

Try and act normally tomorrow, even extra pleasant, and if they are still acting funny then bring it up away from everyone else, kindly. I don’t think you did anything wrong by asking and I know you must be upset (I sure would be!) but I would think trying to avoid a blowout is key, and if you can be the bigger person and move on first, that will be the best thing.

ETA: Regarding the festival being too rainy and missing their get together, I wouldn’t even bring it up again. Also, just saw the post about SIL being 14, that makes it a bit more understandable. I would try to move on if at all possible, without this blowing back around. Give it time. Congrats, by the way! πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@ibellibie:  14?  Oh, well, that does make more sense then….

Correct me if I’m wrong here, it sounds like you are assuming that your in laws are lying to you about revealing your delicate state…at the party you weren’t at?

Post # 8
Member
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@ibellibie:  I’m so sorry that this all had to happen, especially right now and with the news you have, but honestly, someone has to smooth this over and if your MIL is really hurt AND she’s been a super great upstanding lady until now, I’d let it go.  I understand why your upset, really I do, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it now and these accusations about controlling behavior can only deepen the bruises on your relationship with this woman…put strain on the both of you and turn this wonderful and exciting Christmas season into a horrible and awkward time.  I don’t think anyone is really wrong here, but someone has got to do what’s right.

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