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Hmm...my answer may be convoluted, but bear with me.
I think it may depend on what I call the "Domino Effect". Will inviting your BM's parents & high school friend + wife open a floodgate of other guests that will, as a result, ALSO expect invites? For example, does your high school friend have a best friend who will expect an invite because he would be the only one of that extended circle without an invite? And does that "best friend" have a wife & three kids that he would expect he could bring? (You see the domino effect?) In that imaginary scene, by inviting your recently married high school friend, you would have ballooned your invite list from 269 to 276...add all the others who have been asking, & you may have a real problem. However, if the sum total of the invites is just 4 (BM's parents & the high school newlyweds), then it's probably not so bad.
Sorry for the long response, but I've totally just been going through this. Through the Domino Effect, the result of inviting just two more aunts & their kids (by opening my parents' sibling/cousins level) ballooned our invite list from 68 to 126...WAY over our budget. I had to make the tough decision to cut all but one aunt off the invite list for that reason alone.
Good Luck with whatever you decide...just make it so that YOU are happy. Despite what others say, I think your wedding should be about you and your future spouse...invite whoever makes you happiest.
Blargh. Guest list troubles suck. : (
I would say keep them on the B-list. I am not a fan of over-inviting. The 250 max they've given you is a FIRE CODE max, which means that even with 250 there...it's going to be awfully cramped. I'd stick with the guest list the way it is and hope for some breathing room.
(I'd also be more inclined to invite the friend whose wedding you went to, but mostly out of guilt -- and you are by no means required to invite him (and his wife). As for the parents of your friend? Uh...no!)
If these are the worst two cases, maybe you should just invite them and hope that 3 other people decline. But if you had say, 10 worst cases, I wouldn't risk that. But like mspascua said, could doing this "open up the flood gates" for other people who would then feel like they should be invited too? Ugh. I hate that we brides have to deal with this stuff!!!
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I know a lot of people post about problems like this, but I really don't know what to do. We currently are inviting 269 people to our wedding at a venue that holds 250 people. And I just keep running into people that think that they should be invited to our wedding that aren't! There are lots, but the worst two cases are:
- My best friend from high school's parents who told her that they can't wait to come to Philly for our wedding. They were on our original 350 people guest list - but they got cut a while ago. My friends is a BM.
- A pretty good friend from high school who I hadn't seen for 6 years until I started dating my fiance' ( they have mutual friends). NEVER would have imagined inviting him, but we've been going to all the same weddings over the past 3 years and he invited us to his a few months ago (which was quite a surprise). And THEN sent a thank you card that said "We can't wait for yours!"
I know that there are going to be people that probably can't come to our wedding and so we have a b-list. But these people above are going to know that they weren't on the first round of invites because other people close to them will be getting invitations early. Should I just invite them in the first round and hope that we get a lot of people turning down invitations? Or should I keep them on the b-list? Someone suggested pretending that 'the invite got lost in the mail'.... :o) Anyway, we absolutely can't have more than 250 people in our venue. Thoughts?