- Miss Mochaccino
- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
My relationship with SIL is a bit tricky, and I’m having trouble trying to understand her and figuring out where to draw various boundaries. One of the most confusing aspects of it has to do with gifts.
For Christmas, DH and I gave her a designer tote bag worth just over $100. It was a very nice, practical sort of gift, and we figured she could use it for work. We consulted MIL while we were in the store, to double check on the opinion. The cost of the bag was not unreasonable in light of gifts she has given to us in the past (e.g., concert tickets, dinners out, expensive wallet for DH, etc.)
After she opened it on Christmas, SIL said that it was really nice and thoughtful, but she wasn’t sure if this was excatly what she wanted. We had included a gift receipt, but she asked us to return it for her ourselves and said she would let us know when she had picked out what she wanted.
I found that a bit irritating, as in my opinion, a gift is a gift. If you don’ t like it, you still smile and say “thank you”. All the better if someone included the gift receipt — just take it back and exchange it yourself quietly later on.
SIL still brings up the tote bag a full six months later . . . saying she is still looking around, deciding which one she wants us to buy her.
Another time, DH said that I should buy something fun for SIL, since she had recently given us chocolate and roses when she came to visit, so I got her a fun color nail polish from Clinique. When I gave it to her, saying that it was a little something fun from DH and me, she opened the box and said it was a color she wouldn’t wear. I had the receipt and said, “Here, you can exchange it for something you like” and she said that I should exchange it for her and perhaps get her something blue.
Honestly, I feel completely unmotivated to exchange it for her. I feel that her decision to give back gifts and ask people to excahnge them for her is a bit odd and picky . . . I might not have been crazy about various things they’ve given me, but I’ve never said “that’s not quite me, why don’t you take it back and i’ll let you know when I see what I want?” It’s such a huge hassle/burden to place on the gift giver . . . and not what gifts are about, IMHO.
Any thoughts on how to take this forward (or not) with SIL. For now, i’m just going to stick with not taking back her nail polish for her, and just giving her chocolate, since I know she likes that, lol. I’m just really having difficulty understanding her. And so is DH, although from his perspective, we should just wait until she tells us which handbag she wants, which I find really strange.