SIL and Gifts . . .

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
42135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just stop. Next time you give her a gift and she doesn’t like it, just say no when she asks you to return it.

” We know you have particular tastes so we included a gift receipt. Please feel free to exchange it for something more of your own choosing.”




Post # 4
526 posts
Busy bee

maybe make a joke, like ‘haha, we give you a gift and you’re giving me a job! haha’ i think that makes the point, politely

Post # 5
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Miss Mochaccino:  don’t give her anymore gifts. It’s a lost cause. You’ve proven yourself twice to suck at choosing gifts for other people…

Just kidding! But seriously don’t give her any thoughtful gifts. Cash only.

Post # 6
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

She should get gift cards from now on. I also, wouldn’t be doing the returning if she doesn’t like it that’s her job to do.

Post # 7
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Wow she’s got brass balls. I wouldn’t ever tell someone I didn’t like a gift! If they give a receipt then I’d quietly return it myself, not TELL the gifter to return it and I’ll let them know what I want in return. Next time she does it just say no, she can return it and pick out what she wants, it’s not your job, you give a GIFT and she is making work for you. This is probably one of the rudest things I have ever heard of.

Post # 8
498 posts
Helper bee

@MissMay3003:   I was going to mention gift cards also. If she seems put off by the idea say something like “I can never figure out quite what you would like, so this way you can get exactly what you want.” 



Post # 10
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

It would have taken all of my restraint not to rip the purse from her hands, then launch it into her stupid face. Then I would sit back gleefully, and sadistically, of course, while she asks if someone can go get her a first aid kit for a gift.

Seriously. I’ve seen rude, and then there’s *rude.* Does anyone else in the family do this? But, apparently, she’s learned it’s acceptable since everyone caves. Your husband needs to be on the same page, and he needs to be the one standing up and saying that you won’t be returning it.

In the future, I would seriously reconsider giving her anything. If she dared have the gall to bring it up, I’d politely say, “Well, I’m not much of a gift-giver, so I think it’s best you gift yourself with what you like!” with a big, cheesy smile.

Post # 11
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Gift cards ONLY..and she should be thankful she is getting anything…

Post # 12
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

She should be called out that what she says is rude, and she should exchange it herself, and if you decide to buy her somethng in the future, gift cards only. The damn nerve.

Post # 13
3633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is really bizarre. DH and I are picky with gifts, but we would never tell the giver to return it themselves. We’ll go with each other to exchange gifts that we’ve bought for each other, but that’s because we’re married. I wouldn’t do that with anyone else.

That said, MIL always has problems with every gift we give her and we always end up having to exchange it or she has SIL take care of it. She doesn’t drive or speak English, so she really has no choice but to ask someone to help her do the return/exchange and FIL hates shopping. FWIW, DH and I have stopped giving her gifts because it’s such a PITA. We just give her cash now.

IMO, for your SIL, I would just give her giftcards going forward so the gift doesn’t have to keep going back and forth. I wouldn’t even pick a specific store/shopping mall; I would just cough up the extra money and do a Visa giftcard that’s accepted pretty much anywhere.


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