(Closed) SIL apparently doesn't want us to have children.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Wow. I would nip that in the bud. Seriously, if she can say rude things like that, she should be able to take the confrontation for it. Next time she says that, tell her “well, we don’t know, do we? We will have kids when we want to have kids. Now no more comments because it’s none of your business.” If she doesn’t back down, be more forceful.

Post # 5
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

This has to be one of the most ridiculous posts ever.  Is your SIL even real!?  Tell her to back off, seriously.  I would totally put her in her place.  Tell her that whether or not you decide to have kids is your decision and whether or not your DH will be a good father to those kids is something for you to find out on your own.  You haven’t even decided whether you want to have kids!  She’s already trying to talk you out of it and it’s totally not her place.  I don’t blame you for wanting to punch her, although I’m going to recommend you don’t 😉

Post # 6
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow, she sounds like a real pleasant person to chat with! Honestly, I would probably just ignore/avoid as much as people because that would seriously get on my nerves and I would really have no urge to try to have conversations with or be close to someone like that, SIL or not! Sounds like she just wants her kids to have all the attention. I suddenly have a newfound appreciation for my SIL, who even though she is a super-overzealous parent who can irritate me, at least she had the normal reaction of being excited about getting a nephew and that her child would have a cousin close to his age to play with. Next time she makes a comment about your DH I would flat out say, “Wow, that’s a pretty hurtful thing to say about your brother! I think he’ll be a great dad when we decide the time is right.” And if she carries on I’d just tell her that you really don’t want to discuss it with her, you know what her opinions are but  frankly theyr’e hurtful and you obviously disagree, and you hope that when the time comes she’ll be an excited aunt and not just put down her brother or when you two choose to have children. I’m glad your MIL is on your side, at least, that does help.

Post # 8
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Be weary of this crap now because it says a lot about how things could go with these siblings later down the line, especially if your in-laws (the parents) have any money to be left to each of them.  My family is currently dealing with similar (“But they like you better!”) crap.  Shut ’em up now, even if it means your husband has to, before they continue this for years and end up resenting your portion of the family.

 

Post # 9
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Wow! Sounds like me and my SIL. Though I love her to pieces and I’m surce she loves me too, she has a baby and he’s the center of attention. She always says that she doesn’t want me to have kids because she wants her son to still be the “king of the house” for a little longer. Seems like she’s always worried about that even though I have no plans on having kids soon. She might have those jealousy feelings. I usually just ignore my SIL and then we both move on. I think you should just pretend to listen but it’s ultimately up to you. She may say whatever but it will be your decision. 

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Pinksapphire:  That is really freaking weird. Why do they think your kids will be the favorites? Going to be honest, I’m the other end of that equation – it is painfully obvious that my SIL’s kid will always be my IL’s favorite (mostly because she literally spends every single day with her mother, they take vacations together with her kids and go see shows and stuff and don’t let either of their husbands come. And I mean all the time. It’s kind of creepy – I’ll pass on being my MIL’s favorite if that’s what it entails, lol), but I’d never let affect the fact that I love and was excited for my nephew, or use it to judge their TTC timelines or anything, that’s nuts!

Post # 11
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@Wonderstruck:  I think this is all grandparent’s fault! Seriously, they pick favorites all the time and make it really obvious. They may not make it as obvious with their children but with grandchildren they do. My grandpa said openly that I was his favorite grandaughter the other day, while that made me feel special, I know he broke some hearts. What ends up happening is bickering between us and the person who is supposed to be our sister. Shame on those grandparents :p

Post # 12
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@amoret11:  Yep, pretty much. The moment that took the cake for me was when my MIL posted some of our wedding photos and posted one as her profile with the caption ‘my two favorites.’ It was a picture of my SIL and her son. I was pretty appalled at her nerve to single them out as her favorites on FB for everyone to see using a photo from her SON’S wedding.

sorry to thread jack OP, I’m totally not saying your MIL is doing this

Post # 13
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I can’t believe the nerve of your SIL. Did you tell her to stuff it?

Post # 15
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Pinksapphire:  My fi’s brother’s wife told me to not even think our kids would ever be as cute as hers. Stupid bitch. She also tells my fmil that her kids have to be the favorites because they were born first. Sigh… 

Post # 16
Member
3174 posts
Sugar bee

It’s up to you and your DH when you want kids not her or anyone else. I also would’ve told her to shove it.

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