Post # 1
So my fiance’s sister just got engeged afew weeks ago. She is 11 years older than him and is in a little bit of a rush to get married. She set her date for 11-17-12, our date has been set for over a year for 1-5-13. That part does not bother me at all, I really like her fiance and am happy for her. The problem lies in the phone call my fiance got from her today. She told him she is having a small ceremony and only inviting family, his parents, her parents, her aunt and cousin and my fiance. She then told him I was not invited. Is it wrong that I am taking offence at this?
Post # 3
@bam_461: I would be offended too! You guys are engaged after all, it’s only a matter of time until you’re officially family.
Have you guys not been together very long? Are either of you younger? Have you ever caused any kind of a scene (even if it wasn’t your fault) at a family gathering?
I wonder if she does not approve of your upcoming wedding for some reason, that’s the only reason I could think of for her decision. Even if that’s what she’s doing it still pretty rude!
Post # 4
@bam_461: Wow. Yes, that is super offensive. You should be invited too.
Post # 5
I would be insulted! You’re going to be sisters….I cant imagine a situation where you wouldnt invite youre in two months sister in law…unless you had gotten in a fight or did not get along at all. What is your FI’s take on this? Is he offended?
Post # 6
That is horrible!! I would be very hurt by this. Did you Fiance or his family voice this to her at all??
Post # 7
I would be offended but seeing the guests she’s inviting they’re all blood related so maybe she only wants blood related family. Thats my guess.
Post # 8
We are younger than her. I am 23 and he is 25. But we have been together 2 1/2 years, which is 1 1/2 years longer than her and her fiance. We have never had any fights and I am the one who stands up for her when my fiances parents put her down, which they do all the time (long story, they are pretty much astranged). They are also invinting one of hos friends. so it is not all blood relatives.
Post # 9
I would be hurt, insulted and probably cry. I am sure her and her hubby to be are invited to yours right? It isn’t right to only invite her brother and not you. In no situation is this ok, even if you had a fight with each other in the past (I am not saying you did, just using as an example). What does your fiance’ say about this?
Post # 10
@bam_461: Wow. I was hoping it was something like that so that her bitchiness was at least semi-understandable. Yeah I would be seriously offended, you should have your Fiance talk to her about it. I’m mad for you, how rude! Hopefully she just had a weird bridal moment about it and didn’t realise how impolite that is and will come to her senses.
Post # 11
Being devils advocate here but maybe she and her partner actually want a truly intimate wedding with very few guests who are only family?
She may have a different idea to what family is to you and technically if she has a really narrow view of what family is then you would probably not fit intot hat category. This could just be a difference on what individuals think family is. Kind of like not inviting children who are family (nieces/nephews etc) to a wedding.
Of course it is understandable that it has hurt your feelings but it is her and her FI’s wedding so they get to dictate the guest list/vision for their wedding.
Would I do it- no way but others would!
Post # 12
I think this is a battle for your Fiance to handle, it’s completely unacceptable for her not to invite her future-sister-in-law. Not cool!
Post # 13
H3ll yes. I would take offence. I would tell Fiance I’m not happy with him being invited alone. I would ask him to insist on an invite or he’s not attending. That is (hopefully) what I would do in the reverse situation: invite my fiance or I’m not going.
Post # 14
My first husband’s sister did this to me. We got engaged, she then suddenly got engaged, set her wedding date before ours…and then refused to invite me.
I was only 19 at the time, and was very hurt and upset. I wasn’t close to her at all (she was a good 7 years older than me) but I had never done a thing to upset her or the family.
There was a lot of drama and she ended up inviting me…it was a horrible day for me, I knew I was only there under sufferance. I ended up regrettng going.
To this day, I have no idea why she did it. All I can say is if the same thing happened to me now, at the grand old age of 44, even if I did end up getting an invite, I still wouldn’t go.
Post # 15
It sounds like a 30 person wedding. Yes, breech of etiquette, but no, I wouldn’t be insulted. We are inviting just one of my uncles and not any others. We aren’t inviting my half sister. We aren’t inviting FI’s nieces or nephews, one of whom is 16.
Some people define family differently than others. Since she committed an obvious social faux-pas, I wouldn’t want to go or push the subject, personally.
Post # 16
I hope your fiance doesn’t go to her wedding. Wether or not she like you, she should have invited you as you are goingto be the wife of her brother. She doesn’t need to include you in anything else, but she should have invited you to that.