SIL Drama

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
246 posts
Helper bee


I say continue on as before (since now whatever you say or do that leads to her and her children having a smaller role in the wedding can and will be used against you), but just be careful not to let her in any further than she is now.

And everyone is aware of the fact that she has issues with you, so they’ll understand. Just go on and enjoy your wedding planning!

Post # 5
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ok that was long. But listen, you are always going to have issues with his sister. It’s up to you to chose how you deal with her in the future. I’m kind of in a similar situation with my FSIL.

My wedding is in May, but I am having my bachelorette party in 2 weeks. Why? Because FSIL wanted to be involved and we decided that we would move up the party so she could fly in and participate and go dress shopping for my BM’s.

Well it has been hell getting his side of the family to stick to their rsvp. It’s like none of them have any etiquette. Well aside from the fact that my MIL invited herself along with her 2 sisters, FSIL sent the meanest text I have ever received. I had been having issues with people asking me (THE FREAKIN’ BRIDE) if they could pay for the party late (going on a wine tasting tour). I reluctantly said yes, but thinking about it I changed my mind as I didn’t want to be responsible for the charges if this person was not able to pay me back.

Well once she got wind of what was going on she sent a group text to me and a few of her family members:

(not verbatim)

While I’m excited to come to California to help with the wedding planning, my main reason for coming is to spend time with my family. Since my entire family won’t be attending this bachelorette party I don’t want to go anymore. I would rather save my money and use it elsewhere, I’m on a budget guys… Sorry!!

Well, as you can imagine, I was extremely hurt and pissed. Oh let’s not forget about the fact that I BOUGHT HER PLANE TICKET!!! I let it be known how hurt I was and she eventually called to half apoligize. She said that she didn’t mean it that way bla bla bla… BS, but i forgave her because I don’t want to start WW3 with his family.

So I get it, I get that his sister is treating you like garbage. It’s your wedding, why is this person treating you this way? Because she’s a brat and you’re stuck with her for life now.

You need to ignore her tantrum. Pay for the dresses. And suck it up. Because if you don’t, this drama will just continue.

But now you know how she is and I bet you won’t make those mistakes again.

Post # 7
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

I have come to the conclusion that FSILs are just tough. I have had problems with mine and almost everybody I’ve ever talked to who was planning a wedding has had one problem or another with a FSIL. I think for them it’s just a hard time. Jealousy, attention, losing a brother, compet – things like that  make it hard for them to be happy for us. 

It sounds to me like your FSIL was picking a fight for no reason. I think she just wanted to be mad at you and wanted to tell her family how horrible and unreasonable you are. She might be jealous, she might have wanted some attention, she might feel like she is being left out or she might just be a generally unpleasent person.

I think it has very little to do with the dress at all and I think you handled it graciously and generously. Personally, I would have been tempted to not have a flower girl and tell her, her children are not in the wedding anymore. But, with in-laws taking the high road is always always always better.  

My FSIL made me out to be a horrible, controling, bridezilla because I told her that her friend (who neither my fiance or I know) would not be invited to the wedding. How not inviting a total stranger to the most important day of our lives is controling and nasty I dont know but according to her it was. She told her mother about it she told her father about it she told everybody who would listen. Fortunately for me everybody realized she was being a little brat and ignored it and it eventually blew over and she is now being super nice to me.

I think FSILs lost their minds a little bit and you should just ignore it 🙂 I know it’s easier said than done and that what you FSIL did was super hurtful but, you did nothing wrong. 

Post # 9
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

@smarie13:  I totally agree. I don’t have a brother either so I guess I don’t get it.

My FSIL was amazing and sweet and fun until we got engaged. I mean it was like two different people. Before engagement we were friends and had a ton of fun together and now she seems to hate me. Oh well though, I’m hoping it will blow over when she sees that I’m not trying to take anybodys place.

But, let’s both continue being the bigger people lol I don’t want to statrt anything that cannot be repaired. Our FSILs, as much as they drive us crazy,  are going to be our family afterall 🙂  

Post # 10
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I briefly was super horrible to my now SIL. I actually introduced her to my brother. SHe was a VERY close friend and I’m really close to my brother and it was bizarre how sad and angry I was when they got engaged. It felt like I was losing BOTH of them.  I eventually sucked it up, but there was one holiday season when I was not very nice to her. 🙁  

That being said, this dress thing is soooo dumb. Not being honest about you offering to pay is just manipulative. Hopefully in the future you won’t have to deal with her very much.

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