Post # 1
Mr J’s business partner came over for coffee this morning and the first words out of his mouth where “Congrats to your sister! Are you going to be in the wedding?” Between the two of us we have 9 sisters so I was trying to rack my brain to think of whose facebook announcement I might have missed or if I had any pending voicemails, most of our famlies live far away so contact is limited. Turns out it is his sister R who lives 3 blocks away from us and I just talked to her this weekend! She apparently got engaged LAST WEEK and didn’t tell any of her family yet that I can find but several people around town know (we live in a very very small town so word travels fast) I really want to call her out on it and send a text saying “Congrats! When is the wedding?” but feel like that might be kind of shoddy considereing she didn’t actually tell us, or her older brother or her mom! Would you call her out on it?
Post # 2
globalmargaret: I would most definitely call her out on it and send that text. But it might not be the most popular opinion here on the Bee!
Post # 3
Maybe she’s waiting to see you in person to tell you?
Post # 4
Thats kinda shitty that she didnt tell you guys… Was there a falling out or hard feelings? Maybe just ask her….
Post # 5
globalmargaret: I would call her out on it. If she realizes that you know, she might go ahead and let all of the family know. I’d be trying to protect her poor mom from finding out through someone else…that would be so sad!
Post # 6
I would totally call her out on it ‘hey, word on the street is congratulations are in order?’
Post # 7
globalmargaret: Honestly it hasn’t even been a week yet, and there must be a reason why she hasn’t shared her big news yet, so I wouldn’t make her feel bad or ackward about it. I would give her a little more time to tell you herself before “calling her out”. I know it can be confusing and hurtful to find out such major news from someone other than your SIL. I’m sure we all have things that we have shared with our friends before before our family for varying reasons! She might want to make the announcement personally, or plan a get together. Either way, she is allowed to have her reasons.
I would give her a little more time, and then (if you have the type of relationship in which you talk on the phone) call and tell her that you heard from so and so that she was engaged and that you wanted to congratulate her. I would make sure it’s in a genuinely excited and friendly way. She may then feel inclined to share more details or even explain her reasons for delaying the her announcement 🙂
Post # 8
Maybe she has a perfectly good reason for not telling you all yet? Maybe she is waiting for an opportunity to have the whole family together to tell everyone at the same time. I guess you could say something since word is getting around but I wouldn’t do it in the tone of “calling her out”
Post # 9
Yeah, sure, send that text calling out your SIL and risk pissing her off. Maybe the guy who said something to you wasn’t supposed to ruin a potential surprise. Or maybe she and her FI wanted to tell you in person and show off the ring. Maybe she isn’t the type who goes batshit crazy over getting engaged. Instead of thinking she did it to slight you, how about giving her the benefit of the doubt?
Post # 10
LadyAprill: Jen041815: I can definately see your points, I would certainly not be mean about it in anyway but I feel like since we have talked since it happened Im a little hurt she didn’t let us know. I really do want to give her support. Maybe Ill wait another day or two. She works next door though and if I see her in person and she has a ring I will probably not be able to help my self.
angelicd77: she and Mr. J had an argument about two weeks ago about her only calling when she needed something and never just hanging out or saying hi. We have all talked since then and I thought everything was back to normal but maybe they arent’ good point I totally over looked that.
Post # 11
globalmargaret: That sounds like the PERFECT way to do it 🙂
I think it’s fine to be honest with her about your hurt feelings, she may honestly have a valid reason that will make you feel better! If not, try to remember that it’s not about you and just look forward to the fun festivities ahead 🙂
Post # 12
I’m hoping that she was just planning to tell the family altogether or something but that her FI (or his family!) had a big mouth and told lots of people.
Hopefully she tells you all officially soon.