SIL Issues and not sure what else to do

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Her intentions are not the last word!!! It’s your house. You and your husband can give her a timeline and then it’s up to her to abide by it. If you agree to let her stay, you can lay down the rules. 

From your post it sounds like you two are scared of her! What’s up with that! I realize you may be trying to keep the peace, but seriously, hair in the sink and eating your food? leaving crap around the house and wlking in on you? Read your own post as if you were a stranger and you will see for yourself. It’s time for the two of you to grow a pair. Tell her the rules and she can follow them or find another free place with free childcare. Good luck with that, SIL!

 

Post # 3
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sweetpeaontheweddingbee7:  Does she pay you any rent?

Anyway the basic rule is: your house, your rules. You and your husband are 100% entitled to lay down rules if she is continue to stay.

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Well I am baffled by this now. Why why why did you let her move back in after your past experience? You have to be willing to help yourself; people on the internet aren’t going to be able to help you in this kind of situation. 

Give her a timeline for moving out. Give her a list of rules as well. If she doesn’t follow them you can have her evicted, legally. That’s what I would do. It doesn’t seem like you or your husband are willing to stand up to her, in which case accept her as a permanent part of your lives– one who has total control.

Post # 6
Member
6751 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

She had your husband arrested and you still let her live with you? Giiirrrrrrrl- kick that crazy bitch out!

Post # 9
Member
6751 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Can she not live with your MIL? 

Post # 11
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Who is on the lease/mortgage/deed?   If she isn’t on any of these, the next time she threatens to or actually calls the cops, tell her and the cops that she needs to be arrested for trespassing.  I agree with other Bees, the law needs to be laid down.  Write down a chore list and house rules.  I would also list your and your husband’s repsonsiblities.  “We all agree not to eat eachother’s food.  To faciliate identification of this, we will lable our food.”  “DH and I agree to vacume and dust at least weekly, or sooner based on mess level.  SIL agrees to insure that all of her LO’s toys are picked up and put away every night by 9:00 PM” “We all agree to not enter eachother’s rooms when the other is home without permision.”

Mostly, remember you are doing her a favor, not the other way around.  If she feels you are “territorial” she can find a place where she has her own territory. 

Post # 12
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Yeah, it’s hard when there’s a child involved. i do get that. But you’ve set yourselves up. She has no intention of changing, and she probably knows she can use her kid to manipulate the situation.

Maybe other Bees are more creative than I am, but it seems a bit like you either kick her out or put up with her BS. Sucky situation.

Post # 15
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Does this girl have a job?

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