- 4 years ago
Alas, another ‘regular’ going anon with this one..
So our wedding was this past September and was beautiful and we were reminded how much our family and friends love and support us. The best part, however, is that it is over and we are finally married. Can I just say how relieved I am for this? And that resuming back to ‘normal’ life as a married couple is the most amazing thing in the world!
It was a pretty large and traditional wedding (planned to appease my Husband’s very traditional family).. But it was pretty much opposite of what I wanted. We had the ceremony in a Lutheran church, the cocktail hour was at the stuffy country club DH’s family belongs to (this detail is important). In the end everything came together perfectly and the wedding was flawless and superbly beautiful. All in all, I was thrilled with the outcome.
Now, sadly, almost 3 months the let down begins.. My BIL has a girlfriend of 1 year who I did not have participate in the wedding, but I get along with really well. A couple of weeks ago while the boys were out of town we hung out alone for the first time ever. We had a few drinks and she opened up quite a bit.. Too much actually.. She ended up telling me that DH and BIL’s Sister (my SIL and former Bridesmaid) has been criticizing our wedding, comparing it to her’s and even going as far as to say that I copied her. She had a few other things she picked apart too, and I am honestly very hurt by this.
You see, when we selected our venue, DH wanted to have the reception at the country club, it made sense, they are members, they all grew up there, and all we had to pay for was food and liquor. It gets a little messy since SIL had her wedding the year before and held her reception at the same location. This is the only wedding venue in the area and DH had his heart set on that place for as long as we ever discussed marriage. I tried and tried and tried to persuade him into other venues, the only one he would have considered was about 15 minutes further away (45 minutes from the church) and would have cost us another $8,000 dollars between rental fees and catering. I couldn’t push that on him, I wouldn’t. We paid for our wedding ourselves so this was just absurd.
So I tucked my tail between my legs and had a heart to heart with SIL over email. I had tried to call her for a week but she didn’t answer or return my calls (I think she was mad that we were engaged around the time they announced their HoneyMoon Baby, but whatever). Finally I emailed her asking her if she would mind if we had our wedding there, that we would figure something else out, but that her brother really wanted it at this venue. Mind you, about 1/3 of everyone we have gone to school with (K-12) have had their reception at this place. I swear to God, there is nothing sacred about this venue. Anyway, a few hours later she finally called me back and we talked and she assured me up and down and sideways that it was NBD. So her brother and I booked..
Anyway, BIL’s GF had a lot of ‘insider’ information about the things that SIL not only said along the planning process, but also after the actual wedding. SIL has been cold and dispondant and I daresay, rude. We have always had a strained relationship, I think she always felt threatened by how well her family liked me and welcomed me into the family.. But to hear that she has been so nasty behind my back, and that she still stood in at my wedding really is getting to me. I want to call her out out on this, but I would risk the relationship I have with BIL’s newish GF and from the looks of it, if she sticks around I need her in my court!
I guess I just need to get this off my chest. There is so much more to this story and I am sick of my SIL’s behavior towards me.. We have been in eachother’s lives for 8 years now, I guess I was just hoping that the wedding would have changed her behavior.. I am so dissapointed in her.. ugh.