- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2018
I need some advice… or maybe a reality check. I don’t know.
My SIL has two kids, aged 3.5 and 6. They’re super cute kids and I used to absolutely think the world of them, but over time they are getting worse and worse behaved and I’m finding it hard to even want to be around them (which I feel horrible about!).
We are planning a trip to Hawaii with both of our parents. The plan is to get three one bedroom condos, so that we all have our own space, my IL’s haven’t been on a vacation since the 80’s so we have offered to pay for their condo for the trip as an incentive to go on vacation (they need it!). I have three adult siblings and there has been no discussion about them coming. My SIL has just found out about this and has just assumed that they are also coming and bringing the kids. She wants to change the island we’re going to so it’ll be more child friendly, she wants us to all rent one big house so that we can all be together, she wants the oldest kid to sleep in our room because he never gets to see us, she’s listing off all of the things that we will be doing and yeah… not happening. We don’t have kids, we don’t need to vacation like we do have them.
If they end up coming, the trip will not be at all what we wanted it to be and I’m pretty upset about having to spend ~$10k and use precious vacation time for a trip that is not what we wanted.
They also want to come spend a week with us this summer and said they have to stay in our house because the kids can’t stay in a hotel. Umm… they just went to Florida for two weeks and stayed in a hotel?! I’m 100% putting my foot down on them staying in our house.
Two summers ago they stayed with us and 1) had us put the dogs in kennels because she’s “allergic” – I will never do that again!, 2) the kids destroyed our three month old brand new house and no one made any effort to even help me with anything, 3) our house is just too small to have four extra people in it.
Also, just to add to my grumpiness! I’m still upset that she let the kids sing, talk and run around during our 15 minute wedding ceremony. Guests complained to me that they couldn’t hear any of the vows or anything the officiant said because the kids were so loud. Oh, and the 3.5 year old still isn’t potty trained because “she doesn’t want to be”, nothing to do with me I know, but it still annoys me. Last time they stayed with us they kept leaving dirty diapers all over the house and changing her whereever (like the kitchen island!) and I don’t want a repeat of that.
Anyway – I’m just looking for some advice on how to approach this with my husband. I’m always honest with him about everything but I don’t want to talk badly about his sister and neice and nephew so I know that I should approach this gently.