Okay so I feel a little ridiculous even posting this but...
When we first started our registry I knew exactly they type of dishes I was looking for. Mostly white with cobalt blue accents, somewhere in between dressy and casual for use with almost everything, and with a little twist of uniqueness without being too wacky. Well, I didn't find it anywhere. And I really thought I looked everywhere. So, I settled.
A few months ago I picked two sets, these pretty white and red casual plates (almost everything I wanted except for the blue, and not quite unique enough), and these white, silver, and blue fine china settings (again, very close, perfect color, but a little too dressy). And I had a bridal shower, and got all of the reds I'd requested, and half of the blues, from someone near and dear to my heart.
Fast forward to today, just casually browsing the internet, and I just about die when I found these dishes at Crate and Barrel. White. blue. Funky/pretty floral accent. Neat subtle shapes. Not too fancy. Gorgeous. Me? Drooling. Exactly what I was looking for. A few months too late.
Obviously, three sets of dishes is excessive. But I don't think I can return the others, because the giver wasn't just some random great-aunt I'll never see again--it was someone who will be over for dinner often and will know exactly what dishes I am using (and wonder why they aren't the ones she gave me, although she would be too polite to ask). But I have never been more in love with a set of dishes in my life!
Why oh why couldn;t I have found these earlier? Is there anything to be done? Or should I just resign myself to the fact that after all, they are just dishes?
[Okay, so this is mostly a rhetorical post, I KNOW I have to get over it. They ARE just dishes. Just venting, is all!]
Um, wow, I love the Crate and Barrel dishes. I would totally return the others and buy those. Seriously. After all, the people who bought things off your registry didn't spend a ton of time and effort picking out something they thought you would like - they just bought what you asked for.
We had a little dish dilemma too - picked a pattern we thought we liked (from photos on the internet) but had never seen in person, as it wasn't in stock in any of the stores. After receiving the first couple of place settings, I wasn't really sure I was in love with it. (The texture wasn't exactly what I had expected - weird, I know, but true.) We decided to wait and see if the dishes sort of grew on us - and I ran a set through the dishwasher, and it turned out that the funny "feel" of them went right away once they were washed. Now we're really happy with them. But I was absolutely ready to return them all and find another set - and just explain to people that, Oh silly me, I picked them out without ever seeing them and once we did actually have them, they just weren't quite right.
It is hard to tell from a photo, and everybody has had the internet shopping experience where it's just not what you want when it shows up, so go ahead and blame it on that. Nobody should be offended.
Yeah I totally feel your "pain". The crate and barrel dishes are beautiful. Also, I'm a girl who always knows exactly what she wants and I hate settling for less. I agree with Suzzanno. Your friends gave you what they thought you wanted. But since there's been a turn of events I don't think it's tacky or rude of you to exchange them.
My question is how are you going to return the others to BBB and then buy them at Crate and Barrel?
If you like the C&B ones so much, I would just buy them for yourself. They're on sale and then you don't run the risk of hurting your aunt's feelings. They are after all....just dishes.
Thanks for your support, guys! But I would have a really hard time returning the ones we've already recieved. For one, I *did* see them in the store, not just online. And I would just feel really wierd about it. However, buying them as an "extra" set also just seems frivolous; while on sale, they aren't exactly *cheap*, and in addition to the two sets I've already received, I actually have a third set of antique fine china coming from my FI's parents. We just don't need that many dishes... sigh. Well, I'll think about it.
(KateMW, BBB has a really awesome cash-back return policy for registry items, so if it were to work out, that wouldn't be a problem.)
Why don't you return one set for something else on your registry, buy the new set and then you won't be adding a third set. Or you could be really tricky and take the blue china off your registry, so you don't get anymore and then after the wedding return the pieces you did get and your excuse can be that you didn't get the whole set, so you bought some other ones.
So I think I've come up with a solution... what if I bought just a tea set of the C&B dishes (cups, saucers, teapot/sugar/creamer, and the gorgeous serving bowl and tray)? Still not cheap, but I don't really have much in the way of serving pieces for the red set, and I actually think the C&B blues would mix in nicely. And the cups from the red berries set are my least favorite piece--I do still like the rest of it a lot, as does my FI. That way I get some of my beautiful cobalt blues, but I don't have to dissapoint anyone or spend a ton on the whole new set...
Sounds good to me. I think as long as you don't return something, you'll feel fine. You have a guilt thing going on like I do. I can't help but tell the truth!
ok so i was going to say that you should just buy them. my mom has always had three sets of dishes--the not-so-nice everyday dishes, the nicer dinner-time dishes, and the super-nice antique thanksgiving and christmas dishes. that's what i'm going to have too. but then i read that you're getting antique dishes, and i agree, four sets is a bit much.
But if you really love this blue set, and I agree that it is absolutely fabulous, i would do one of two things. Either just go ahead and get the fourth set, and use it as nicer, but still everyday dinner-time dishes. Since the other blue set is pretty fancy, you can save it for special occasions, alternating between it and the antique ones.
Or just tell your friend the truth and return the red ones. I don't think she'll be offended in any way, like Suzanno said. And you'd still be keeping one of the sets she gave you, which you can proudly take out and use when she comes over. In the end, you're going to be looking at these dishes every single day, you might as well get what you really want.
I love your little red dishes!! The blue C&B set is nice too but I wouldn't put necesarily put one set over the other. Sticking with what you have is certainly the easier choice. (I personally don't like dealing with returns...) And for sentimental reasons, someone gave you a gift.
I understand how this is a difficult dilema. I've struggled with being satisfied with choices I've made.... and it usually involves shopping --like buying one dress and finding another I like even more a few weeks later and wishing I waited. The internet has only fueled my obsession by providing endless choices at the click of a button. I've learned that it's less stressful to just be sastisfied with what I have. The dress in my closet would serve the same purpose as the other. I have to tell myself that what I have is enough. There will always be prettier dresses, better shoes, bigger diamonds, fancier dishes... but I'm really trying to be satisfied with what I have because it's enough.
I would keep one of the sets your friend gave you, return the other, and buy myself the Crate and Barrel. That way you have a set to use in front of your friend and the set you love.
Hello again... Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement.
To clarify, it was actually two different people who gave me the two different sets. And one of them is my FMIL...
So, an update. I talked to my mom about it tonight and we both agree that it isn't possible to return them without risking my relationship with my FMIL (which is good now, but you know how those things are). She also likes the tea set idea, so I stopped by C&B this evening to check out the pattern in real life. (Needless to say, it is even more beautiful than online. But I digress...)
I picked up a few small pieces to see how they worked with my existing red set. I actually really like the effect. Apologies for the crappy cameraphone pictures, but here are some samples (click for larger):
The photos don't capture the blue at all, it's really not almost black. It is a beautiful true, dark cobalt (not quite navy, more... vibrant). And I love the mix of blue and red, and I think I'm really happy with this solution!
If I were your friend/guest who had bought you the red and blue ones, I would not feel slighted if you told me about why you had picked them and about how you now had found others that you liked better. If you told me, "With your blessing, I'd like to exchange your dishes for these others," I would totally give you my blessing, and not feel slighted at all. After all, I would have only bought you the red and other blue ones because they were on your registry and I thought you liked them in the first place. It has a good chance of working -- even if it was your FMIL!
Scarlet16, I *love* that solution - I think it looks beautiful!!! Way to go! I love mixing and matching, and now you totally have the best of... well, all three worlds. Yay!
Okay so I feel a little ridiculous even posting this but...
When we first started our registry I knew exactly they type of dishes I was looking for. Mostly white with cobalt blue accents, somewhere in between dressy and casual for use with almost everything, and with a little twist of uniqueness without being too wacky. Well, I didn't find it anywhere. And I really thought I looked everywhere. So, I settled.
A few months ago I picked two sets, these pretty white and red casual plates (almost everything I wanted except for the blue, and not quite unique enough), and these white, silver, and blue fine china settings (again, very close, perfect color, but a little too dressy). And I had a bridal shower, and got all of the reds I'd requested, and half of the blues, from someone near and dear to my heart.
Fast forward to today, just casually browsing the internet, and I just about die when I found these dishes at Crate and Barrel. White. blue. Funky/pretty floral accent. Neat subtle shapes. Not too fancy. Gorgeous. Me? Drooling. Exactly what I was looking for. A few months too late.
Obviously, three sets of dishes is excessive. But I don't think I can return the others, because the giver wasn't just some random great-aunt I'll never see again--it was someone who will be over for dinner often and will know exactly what dishes I am using (and wonder why they aren't the ones she gave me, although she would be too polite to ask). But I have never been more in love with a set of dishes in my life!
Why oh why couldn;t I have found these earlier? Is there anything to be done? Or should I just resign myself to the fact that after all, they are just dishes?
[Okay, so this is mostly a rhetorical post, I KNOW I have to get over it. They ARE just dishes. Just venting, is all!]
posted by blushingaudrey 94 posts 4 months agoUm, wow, I love the Crate and Barrel dishes. I would totally return the others and buy those. Seriously. After all, the people who bought things off your registry didn't spend a ton of time and effort picking out something they thought you would like - they just bought what you asked for.
We had a little dish dilemma too - picked a pattern we thought we liked (from photos on the internet) but had never seen in person, as it wasn't in stock in any of the stores. After receiving the first couple of place settings, I wasn't really sure I was in love with it. (The texture wasn't exactly what I had expected - weird, I know, but true.) We decided to wait and see if the dishes sort of grew on us - and I ran a set through the dishwasher, and it turned out that the funny "feel" of them went right away once they were washed. Now we're really happy with them. But I was absolutely ready to return them all and find another set - and just explain to people that, Oh silly me, I picked them out without ever seeing them and once we did actually have them, they just weren't quite right.
It is hard to tell from a photo, and everybody has had the internet shopping experience where it's just not what you want when it shows up, so go ahead and blame it on that. Nobody should be offended.
posted by suzanno 1,984 posts 4 months agoYeah I totally feel your "pain". The crate and barrel dishes are beautiful. Also, I'm a girl who always knows exactly what she wants and I hate settling for less. I agree with Suzzanno. Your friends gave you what they thought you wanted. But since there's been a turn of events I don't think it's tacky or rude of you to exchange them.
posted by MissEsq 41 posts 4 months agoMy question is how are you going to return the others to BBB and then buy them at Crate and Barrel?
If you like the C&B ones so much, I would just buy them for yourself. They're on sale and then you don't run the risk of hurting your aunt's feelings. They are after all....just dishes.
posted by KateMW 483 posts 4 months agoThanks for your support, guys! But I would have a really hard time returning the ones we've already recieved. For one, I *did* see them in the store, not just online. And I would just feel really wierd about it. However, buying them as an "extra" set also just seems frivolous; while on sale, they aren't exactly *cheap*, and in addition to the two sets I've already received, I actually have a third set of antique fine china coming from my FI's parents. We just don't need that many dishes... sigh. Well, I'll think about it.
(KateMW, BBB has a really awesome cash-back return policy for registry items, so if it were to work out, that wouldn't be a problem.)
posted by blushingaudrey 94 posts 4 months agoWhy don't you return one set for something else on your registry, buy the new set and then you won't be adding a third set. Or you could be really tricky and take the blue china off your registry, so you don't get anymore and then after the wedding return the pieces you did get and your excuse can be that you didn't get the whole set, so you bought some other ones.
posted by KateMW 483 posts 4 months agoSo I think I've come up with a solution... what if I bought just a tea set of the C&B dishes (cups, saucers, teapot/sugar/creamer, and the gorgeous serving bowl and tray)? Still not cheap, but I don't really have much in the way of serving pieces for the red set, and I actually think the C&B blues would mix in nicely. And the cups from the red berries set are my least favorite piece--I do still like the rest of it a lot, as does my FI. That way I get some of my beautiful cobalt blues, but I don't have to dissapoint anyone or spend a ton on the whole new set...
posted by blushingaudrey 94 posts 4 months agoSounds good to me. I think as long as you don't return something, you'll feel fine. You have a guilt thing going on like I do. I can't help but tell the truth!
posted by KateMW 483 posts 4 months agook so i was going to say that you should just buy them. my mom has always had three sets of dishes--the not-so-nice everyday dishes, the nicer dinner-time dishes, and the super-nice antique thanksgiving and christmas dishes. that's what i'm going to have too. but then i read that you're getting antique dishes, and i agree, four sets is a bit much.
But if you really love this blue set, and I agree that it is absolutely fabulous, i would do one of two things. Either just go ahead and get the fourth set, and use it as nicer, but still everyday dinner-time dishes. Since the other blue set is pretty fancy, you can save it for special occasions, alternating between it and the antique ones.
Or just tell your friend the truth and return the red ones. I don't think she'll be offended in any way, like Suzanno said. And you'd still be keeping one of the sets she gave you, which you can proudly take out and use when she comes over. In the end, you're going to be looking at these dishes every single day, you might as well get what you really want.
posted by lauracare 19 posts 4 months agoI love your little red dishes!! The blue C&B set is nice too but I wouldn't put necesarily put one set over the other. Sticking with what you have is certainly the easier choice. (I personally don't like dealing with returns...) And for sentimental reasons, someone gave you a gift.
I understand how this is a difficult dilema. I've struggled with being satisfied with choices I've made.... and it usually involves shopping --like buying one dress and finding another I like even more a few weeks later and wishing I waited. The internet has only fueled my obsession by providing endless choices at the click of a button. I've learned that it's less stressful to just be sastisfied with what I have. The dress in my closet would serve the same purpose as the other. I have to tell myself that what I have is enough. There will always be prettier dresses, better shoes, bigger diamonds, fancier dishes... but I'm really trying to be satisfied with what I have because it's enough.
posted by MrsPomegranate 72 posts 4 months agoI would keep one of the sets your friend gave you, return the other, and buy myself the Crate and Barrel. That way you have a set to use in front of your friend and the set you love.
posted by prettykatie 158 posts 4 months agoHello again... Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement.
To clarify, it was actually two different people who gave me the two different sets. And one of them is my FMIL...
So, an update. I talked to my mom about it tonight and we both agree that it isn't possible to return them without risking my relationship with my FMIL (which is good now, but you know how those things are). She also likes the tea set idea, so I stopped by C&B this evening to check out the pattern in real life. (Needless to say, it is even more beautiful than online. But I digress...)
I picked up a few small pieces to see how they worked with my existing red set. I actually really like the effect. Apologies for the crappy cameraphone pictures, but here are some samples (click for larger):
The photos don't capture the blue at all, it's really not almost black. It is a beautiful true, dark cobalt (not quite navy, more... vibrant). And I love the mix of blue and red, and I think I'm really happy with this solution!
posted by blushingaudrey 94 posts 4 months agoWe just got the red berries set for our shower too! I LOVE them...so fun! Sorry I'm not helpful!
posted by scarlet16 11 posts 4 months agoIf I were your friend/guest who had bought you the red and blue ones, I would not feel slighted if you told me about why you had picked them and about how you now had found others that you liked better. If you told me, "With your blessing, I'd like to exchange your dishes for these others," I would totally give you my blessing, and not feel slighted at all. After all, I would have only bought you the red and other blue ones because they were on your registry and I thought you liked them in the first place. It has a good chance of working -- even if it was your FMIL!
posted by hwong14 87 posts 4 months agoScarlet16, I *love* that solution - I think it looks beautiful!!! Way to go!
I love mixing and matching, and now you totally have the best of... well, all three worlds. Yay!
posted by GorgesViola 189 posts 4 months ago