Post # 1
A friend and I are both getting married this year and are both standing in each others’ parties, so I’m her MOH, and she’s my BM. Recently we got coffee to talk about a few details about her wedding, and then while we were talking about BM dresses, shoes, and accessories, she said “it’s the bridesmaids’ jobs to look ugly so the bride looks good.” I was sort of taken aback, especially because in BOTH our weddings we’ve been pretty relaxed about the whole BM process (I picked a dress, had each girl try it on and let me know if there was anything they were uncomfortable with, and when they all said it was fine, purchased the dresses for them; she took us to a bridal salon, said “pick the one you like!” and then we all ended up in matching dresses anyway). I was like, “oh, well as long as they’re comfortable” and then she repeated it, which made me think she was more serious than not!
Even if she was being serious, I’m not worried about anything because I know she’s been very open and considerate with her BMs, but it was a bit of a shocker, especially since I’ve been trying so hard to try to make sure I’m considerate of my BMs. But it made me think–is this really a thing that brides think? Am I on the outside of this one?
Do you think it’s the BMs jobs to look ugly so the bride looks good?!
Post # 2
MrsRevolutionize: I have no doubt some brides think this way. As for me, all my bridesmaids were gorgeous.
I did make a few jokes that I needed uglier friends but it really was just a joke. Mo, it’s not the job of the ‘maids to make the bride look better.
Post # 3
MrsRevolutionize: I don’t agree with that although it is a very old saying. There seems to be a lot of brides who adhere to that philosophy. How else to explain some of the BM dresses we see all the time?
Post # 4
I hate that concept! I think everyone will know I chose the dresses so the way the birdesmaids look that day reflect on me and I do not want that reflection to say I have zero style and taste! My bridesmaid are all gorgeous, in fact I think there’s a chance they’ll all look better than me that day! lol Not to mention, I actually LIKE my bridesmaids I’d never want them to feel uncomfortable or unhappy with how they look. I think it takes some pretty low self-esteem to expect other people to look bad so you can look good.
Post # 5
It is a sort of old school thing or a joke that people like to make but no one I know would actually think that way. I want my girls to look and feel beautiful! And even if I were thinking about myself, I think a bride’s beauty would be enhanced by being surrounded with beauty 🙂
Post # 6
umm no. I never heard of that and can’t believe that mentality exists! Your bridesmaids should look and feel beautiful. Brides already stand out enough with a white dress lol.
Post # 7
I thought it was the bridesmaids’ job to be good friends and show up at the wedding….maybe I just did it all wrong lol.
Post # 8
I think that’s a bad way to think of your closest friends. I’m going through this right now and am pretty annoyed. Refer to this thread:
Post # 9
MrsRevolutionize: Ummm, no. No, I do not. I so very much disagree with that statement, that I am gifting my gals (what I condsider) beautiful jewelry, to accentuate the beautiful dresses they picked (to flatter their figures), and they will have their hair and make-up professionally done as well. WHY?! Because I want them to look, and feel GORGEOUS. They are my family, my best friends, the ones who know me best. If I get the luxury of feeling ‘stunning’ (HOPEFULLY ANYWAYS), then they deserve it too!
I will be proud to have such beautiful women standing next to me. AND, I know I will have ‘one up’ on them, because I am certain I will be radiating with love that day, and that is what makes a bride the MOST beautiful on their big day!
Post # 10
i selected the color but they chose the style. i wanted to make sure my girls would wear their dresses again.
Post # 11
I let all my girls pick their own dresses in a certain shade of minty green. I don’t think its the BMs jobs to make the bride look good. I accidently voted “yes” though. 😐
Post # 12
I actually do think it’s the BM’s job to make the bride look good, so I voted yes in the poll. But not by comparison- as in, not by “being uglier.” But by making sure that the bridge doesn’t look bad- helping touch up make-up, fixing stray hair, straightening the veil, making sure the dress is fixed after going to the bathroom…
Post # 13
Guess I screwed up then, haha- every single one of my bridesmaids is GORGEOUS (I’m a 4/10 at best) and I’m putting them in gorgeous rose gold Badgley Mischka sequined gowns.
Post # 14
Do I think it is the BMs job to make the bride look good? Actually, yes, it’s her wedding.
So I think this is accomplished by the BM’s looking bad? Oh, heck no. If they look bad it is distracting from the bride looking good.
When I was a BM I helped the bride look good by helping adjust her dress, head piece, veil, tucking away a stray piece of hair, helping with make up, grabbing her an extra napkin when there was a spill. But I think part of that was maintaining my own appearance that day.
If I see a picutre of a bride in the middle of bridesmaids in horrible dresses, my thought isn’t “The bride looks so great by comaprison,” but “OMG, who picked out those horrid dresses?”
Post # 15
As a bride, I want my maids to look ausome, because if they look ausome, then I do. I have chosen to have them rent a dress they all love from Rent The Runway so they will all be wearing couture fashion, and ironically the dress they are wearing costs more then mine if they bought it retail! I want my maids to not look like bridesmaids, but very high fashion. I think it is a bride with very low self esteem who wants her bridesmaids to look ugly so she can look pretty.