SIL's pregnancy announcement … and comments after the fact.

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mchitt329:  I guess it depends on how she said it. It doesn’t sound bad but then again her tone could make all of the difference

Post # 4
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

I would presume she’s just really scared of the news spreading and wanted to drill it into you (and anyone else she told) just to be sure.

I wouldn’t take this too personally.

Post # 5
Member
1973 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Honestly she is probably just anxious. There is a fairly high chance of miscarriage until 12 weeks, and telling too many people and then having a miscarriage results in having to explain to everyone what happened. I am sure that she wants to avoid having people find out whom she wouldn’t want to know that she miscarried.

Post # 7
Member
4223 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

All of my co workers have waited to announce. They sited the same reasons as other PP’s have said. Chances of miscarriage…etc. Having all the excitement, then having to tell everyone what happened? Ouch. Some people are also just private about things like this and don’t want the whole world to know. 

Post # 8
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

They had probably planned not to tell anyone until 12 weeks, but then she was so excited that she couldn’t help herself!  Afterwards she probably thought “Oh, we weren’t going to tell anyone!  It’s too soon!” so she went out of her way to make sure you knew not to spread the news just yet.  I wouldn’t take it personally.

Post # 9
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@mchitt329:  youre being oversensitive. its completely normal to emphasise that the news is for family only and they shouldnt tell anyone. because if you dont say this…people will often put something up on fb without thinking etc. it doesnt mean you specifically would…shes just wary as its very early and shes scared of losing the baby and then having to tell lots of people

 

i just did the same thing as im 5 weeks pregnant – onlt family with emphasis on it being private news. sadly my MIL ignored me and told a bunch of people but thats another story

 

if shes like me, its a combination of wanting to tell the news and terror that something might go wrong. trust me, shes thinking about her pregnancy right now not the nuances in your relaitonship with her

 

Post # 10
Member
11002 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Don’t worry. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you — it’s that this is the most important news she has ever had, and she doesn’t trust ANYONE.

I am a communicator by trade, and a Type A person who is ridiculously detail-oriented.  I tend to over  communicate (hello? long posts, anyone? lol), especially about things that are very important to me. (It drives my DH crazy, but it’s something I feel that I need to do at times.)

I would not take this personally at all, and I would be sure to honor your commitment to keep the news secret.  Even if you have no direct friends in common, it’s possible that someone you know may know someone she knows.

Post # 11
Member
3213 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

@mchitt329:  When I said good bye to all of my family after we told them the news I said the same thing your SIL did. We wanted to share our news with family earlier than the rest of the world in case anything went wrong then they would be there to support us and we wouldn’t end up with awkward questions about a lost baby from people we didn’t even know new our news. Don’t feel upset or that she was being condescending; it’s just early pregnancy cautioning. My SIL actually made a FB status after we expressly told her not to which said “Congratulations are in order……but I’m sworn to secrecy!” and all sorts of people guessed it including my other SIL who was upset because we hadn’t told her yet (we had planned to tell her in person when we saw her the next day).

Post # 12
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You are absolutely over-reacting. It is common to tell close family members about a pregnancy before letting everybody else know. I can’t believe you even gave this a second thought.

Post # 13
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@mchitt329:  Yes, you are being overly sensitive. It’s their news to share when they are ready and she has every right to remind you politely upon leaving.

Post # 15
Member
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ScottishMrs:  nooooo, seriously?!!! i would have been livid!! this is why i havent told my SIL despite pressure from my MIL. she has a big mouth and she loves fb. MIL cant stop telling people but SIL would be way worse

Post # 16
Member
3213 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church

@newname_99:  Yeah! I was sooooooo pissed! I had to have DH talk to her and get her to delete it because I would have been really nasty because I was so upset. Unfortunely it had been up for a few hours before I saw it and every time someone guessed something she’s respond with “no….but I’m sworn to secrecy” so she’d eventually have to either not answer or say yes. Ugh, she used to live with us when she got kicked out of her place so I was hoping that would mean she’d follow our wishes on this very important and private matter. After that little incident I emphasize to everyone even more strongly how it is still a secret and most definitely secret from the FB world.

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