Sim help – bf seems cautious about the idea

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Consultette:  some guys will just never feel right about it.  in my circles, nearly everybody engaged has a diamond (a clear/white/near colorless one) and that’s what the guys grew up thinking they would buy someone.  They think it’s the best and the most expensive and that that’s what they should get when they really love someone and want to marry her.  They think that if they don’t buy the girl a diamond, then that is some sign to the world or even just to themselves that they didn’t do what they should have and that they didn’t give their future wife “the best.”  Depending on how strongly your guy feels this- I might just leave it alone.  

At one point, I thought I wanted an aquamarine – it turns out that that never would’ve worked for my husband.  Luckily, once I tried rings on & thought about wearing them more, I liked diamonds the most for everyday wear.  Another friend of mine really wanted a yellow diamond, but her FI wouldn’t get her one because he thought it’d look/seem like he “cheaped out” or got her a lower quality stone (which in some ways would’ve ended up being true because, depending on the budget, a good-quality near-colorless diamond can cost much more than a treated colored stone that’s low on the Cs if an untreated colored stone is out of the question).

Post # 4
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

Consultette:  When we were ring shopping I told FI all about moissanite but he couldn’t get behind the idea. In the end he picked a diamond. He has his reasons for not liking non diamond engagement rings. One day I will have a moissy of my own! 

Post # 5
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

originally we were looking at a diamond too but when i started doing my research and the positive reviews that the mossinates/amora was getting and the amount of pros on using a sim i started to get more excited about getting one instead of a diamond. i had a hard time convincing him of getting on board with a sim. i finally got it out of him that he was worried that his friends/fam would think that he was cheap on getting a sim. so when i realized he was worried about perceptions of others instead of it just being a bad idea i knew i had him! lol. what i also said was i could also upgrade/replace the stone at our 5yr anniversary or whenever. also when i showed him the cost difference involved and how that extra 10K+ could go to soooooo many other things he was finally on board.

i am very happy with my choice. it looks great and people don’t really know the difference. i guess it all comes down to is what you’d feel comfortable in wearing (if $$ isn’t a problem)

 

Post # 7
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Consultette:  and you still really might be able to sway him by showing just how many ppl are into different types of stones and just how good the rings can look.  for my husband, I realize that my attempts to make things cheaper by having him get me a non-diamond ring were going to fall just as flat as my attempts to tell him that he didn’t need to get me a ring to be engaged or me telling him that we could just elope/get married in private small ceremony without a wedding.  In that way, I’m way more flexible and non-traditional than he is, but I was always also fine with him doing some of the traditional stuff if he did it the way that I liked (like getting me a diamond e-ring, but it’s a marquise).

Post # 8
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My FI was the exact same way.  He wanted to buy me a diamond, and spend a good amount of money on it.  Our income is similar to yours, and he was worried I would feel like he was being cheap if he didn’t buy me a real diamond.  My personal feelings are that diamonds are overpriced due to marketing hype, and I would rather our money go into personal investments rather than jewelry.

We compromised, and I got my Amora Gem for my main stone, and splurged on a Verragio setting for the ring with a matching wedding band.  He still spent $10k, I got a stone that is exactly the look I was going for, and we put the remaining money he budgeted back into the bank.  Win/win.

I just got mine a few days ago, so I haven’t mastered the art of photographing it well, but it’s absolutely stunning.  It’s 2.1 ct, D color, internally flawless.  It sparkles like crazy.  Here are some pics in different lighting situations.  

Post # 9
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Consultette:  thanks!  yuppers. Shes my ring :). the first mossy I saw in person was bad too. It made me really reconsider my idea of a sim. But after asking a few questions I realized that they had an untreated mossy and a lot of the jewellers there didn’t know much about mossys so they didn’t really know what to look for when they got them in for their inventory. Perhaps that’s the same for your situation?  But as shkragoldfish said if he feels that strongly about getting u a diamond, then just let it go. 

Post # 10
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Arae83:  stunning ring! And congrats!!!!! . You took some pretty good pics for not mastering the art of photography  Pretty much what u wrote I agree on. I put some extra $$$ into my dream setting. got the stone I wanted and there’s extra money for our honeymoon sitting in the bank 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

ScubaSiren:   Thank you!  I am trying desperately with the photography (on my iphone) but I can’t quite capture what it looks like in person!  We’re getting married in a few weeks so I’m going to have our professional photographer give it a shot.  I love yours too!  Looks super sparkly.  

Post # 13
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Consultette:  It’s worth a try!  My setting and wedding ring do have real diamonds, so it’s only the main stone that isn’t a diamond.  It was a compromise that we both felt good about.  I haven’t told anyone that it isn’t a diamond, but no one has asked, and I would be surprised if anyone ever does ask since the size is something that is reasonable in our area/circle.

Post # 15
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Consultette:  Thank you for the sweet words.  🙂  Good luck!  

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