Post # 1
My SIL is due a few days after me. Her parents live a 2.5 hour drive from where we live but she lives in another province. I totally appreciate the predicament her parents are in because it will be extremely challenging for them to be at both births.
They’ve let us know that they are planning to fly out to help her and take care of her daughter while she’s having her second. I expect that they are planning to stay with their daughter for a while after the baby to help her adjust to 2 children, particularly while she’s recovering from the birth. I totally understand and respect that decision since my parents can always come into town to help me.
It hit me today that this will likely mean that they won’t meet our child (our first) for 2-3 weeks after delivery, assuming they stay with her for at least 2 weeks after she delivers. While I absolutely respect their decision, I hope I don’t get disappointed in the moment that they haven’t met our child because I anticipate I’m going to be over the moon with excitement.
I’m wondering whether anyone else has encountered this type of a situation. If so, how did you find it? I’m trying to mentally prepare myself so we don’t get disappointed…
Post # 3
@RunningGal: People live far away from their families! I don’t think 2-3 weeks is outrageous, especially if you have your parents there. It will be fine. Worrying won’t solve anything!
Post # 4
@RunningGal: I think you’ll be so in love with your newborn that you won’t even notice the 2-3 week span it takes for them to visit. You’ll probably also be learning how to breastfeed, and getting a routine down, that you’ may even “welcome” less visitors.
Post # 5
I’m pregnant with my first, SIL & BIL have 2 kids already and we just found out that ILs are retiring this summer (yay!) but are moving away literally right after.
They will still be within somewhat reasonable visiting range vs right now they live down the street, but I feel bad for Darling Husband and our baby, that they will move away when he/she is 6 weeks old and barely be a part of our kids life.
They have no reason to leave this area, their house is paid off and they are both retiring.. it kind of caught all of us off guard because my parents are doing the opposite (staying close to be a part of their grand children’s lives). I know Darling Husband is bummed about it.
I think it’s a bit of a bummer that they won’t be around since it’s your first since that’s such an important milestone.
Post # 6
My ILs didn’t meet DS until he was a month and a half old. Ideal? No. But I had a system down, was up to hosting company, and was feeling much better by then. It was probably easier this way. I can see why you might be disappointed, but it might be for the best.
Post # 7
I understand where you are coming from. There’s no guarantee that you will both deliver on your actual due dates so maybe that will lessen the gap. Plus you will be so busy and happy with your newborn that the time will go by so fast. Maybe you can skype or facetime with them for a quick hello?
Post # 8
Statistically, she’s more likely to deliver before her due date and you’re more likely to deliver after yours, so perhaps she’s go early and you’ll go a little late and the time span will be greater (ie. in-laws back sooner after your birth). Even if not, though, your parents will be there and your in-laws will still be super excited to meet their grandchild, even if it is when they are 2 or 3 weeks old. As PPs said, by that time you’ll be feeling better, have a routine developing and be settling in.
Post # 10
Thanks everyone. I feel so much better just reading these posts!