Post # 1
Just have to vent here. Yesterday my best friend saw my engagement ring for the first time. It’s much smaller than the ring she just got-when I asked her what she thought, she said it was very “simple”. I just felt like it was rather condescending and insulting, especially since she tried to put my ring on her finger next to hers as if to point out just how much smaller my ring is. I’m probably being overly sensitive, but when did we get to the point where smaller rings are considered second class?
Post # 3
To be honest I think she could have said something nicer than “simple” about your ring. What about beautiful, pretty, ect. So I don’t think you are overreacting. You should just let it go and forget she said anything at all don’t dwell on it. By they way just because her ring is larger doesn’t necessarily mean that it is more expensive. There are 1/2 diamonds that are good quality and more expensive than some lower quality full carats. The important thing is not how much the ring costs or how big it is or what you best friend things of it but if you like it and are happy with it and your Fiance.
Post # 4
Society puts far too much emphasis on engagement rings. Yes, we all want a nice ring but to an extent obviously. People are always going to have something inappropiate to say. That’s never going to change. As long as you love it then who cares about her opinion.
Post # 5
People that don’t know much about diamonds or gems in general think that smaller diamonds are alot cheaper than ones that are bigger. But that is false. You can get a .40 flawless & colorless diamond that costs more than a .80 very included diamond.
And as far as the simple comment goes I have a solitaire. Simple as it gets but its exactly what I wanted & picked out! If you love it that is all that matters! 🙂
Post # 6
She’s clearly a nob, just ignore her. I’m sure your ring is gorgeous. 🙂
Post # 7
@speechgal44: I understand where you’re coming from. That is not a very nice thing to say, especially if she held the ring up to hers as if she was comparing… I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn’t trying to be mean, but it’s okay to vent here because my feelings would be hurt, too. Especially because she’s your best friend! She should have said something nicer than “simple.”
I had an acquaintence look at my ring & say it was “cute” (with a not very nice tone of voice). Then she stared at her ring with a look of admiration on her face, as if she was thinking, “I’m so glad my diamond is huge.” I thought it was quite rude & condescending, but I love my ring & think it’s perfect, so whatever. I’m sure your ring is beautiful! People are just weird & rude sometimes. Try not to let it get to you.
Post # 8
Simple to mean, means simple. Like a solitaire is simple vs a halo setting. I wasnt there so I could be wrong, but the meaning you are attaching to it is likely coming from you. Maybe projecting some of your own feelings?
I would try to take her comment as just that. Simple. Not elaborate. That doesnt mean its not pretty.
Her ring was already on her finger. Girls like to try rings on so I suspect it wasnt to “compare” it, but just to look at it. It would seem a little strange if she went to the effort of removing her own ring first to try yours on.
EDI: There are many bees that use the word simple to describe their dream ring, so its not necessarily a bad term.
Post # 9
@lefeymw: But don’t you think it’s weird that a best friend wouldn’t say something like “elegant,” “beautiful,” “perfect for you,” etc.? I feel like “simple” is condescending if it’s not attached to something more complimentary like “simple but gorgeous!”
I dunno. Maybe I’m just sensitive, too. Personally, I don’t need or expect anyone to drool over my ring, but I feel like that reaction from a best friend is hurtful. I would never say only “It’s simple” to a friend without adding onto it to make her feel special…
Post # 10
Girls are mean. They like to throw jabs whenever they can. I would’ve taken the “simple” comment (depending on her tone) to be offensive. Just don’t let her get to you. You love your ring and that’s all that matters. If it makes you feel better start thinking of subtle jabs you can throw her way next time 😉
Post # 11
hmm I think that she could have made a nicer comment for sure, but idk if she really meant it to be hurtful. She would probably just die if she knew that your feelings were hurt over this! I could be wrong, but thats just my sneaking suspicion! Aside from that I think that we do put a lot of pressure on e rings and I guess its somewhat natural to “compair” but I do agree she could have worded things alot better. I would not let it bother you to much though.
Post # 12
@Ms Bookworm: Exactly she is a best friend so I doubt she would purposely try to insult you. I would take it at face value. Maybe not the best choice of words, but if she really is a good friend, it wasnt malicious.
Post # 13
I tend to think that she may have not been trying to be rude. I have a 1ct solitaire (which is larger than average in Illinois) and people have often referred to my ring as simple. It is simple and elegant and they are right.
Post # 14
I would ignore her also. My ring is nothing like most engagement rings and is not diamond heavy if you get my drift but I could care less. I love it and I love the thought my Fiance put into it by getting it engraved…it means the world to me! Maybe she has forgotten that the ring is a symbol of his love…but what it looks like does not define the love your fiance has for you :o)
Post # 15
She might have meant it was simple design wise or she might have meant that it was ‘small’. Either way she should have picked a different word! I would have been offended, too.
Post # 16
i think you might be reading into her response too much. to me, simple means simple…as in, not elaborate. it doesn’t mean small or ugly…just simple. she’s your best friend, right? i’m sure she wasn’t trying to offend you. maybe she thought you wanted details when you asked what she thought, and not just “it’s pretty” or “i like it”, which is something i’d expect from anybody.
as the wearer of a simple ring, i’m not so sure when “simple” became a negative thing…