(Closed) simple things shouldnt be this hard

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Um…you have to put who you want in your bridal party. Neither you nor your FI want here there. Put your foot down. Tell FMIL that you already made up your mind and it’s too late to change it. End of story.

If it continues to be an issue, try to give your FSIL a different, smaller role in the wedding, like doing a reading or something like that. That way she is still involved, but you dont have an extrea BM.

Post # 4
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Can you give the sibs a different but still special role?  Like readers in the ceremony?  That might appease everyone and still allow you to have just your girls in the bridal party proper.

Post # 5
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I definatly agree, are you able to include them in another way such as readers, or lighting a candle? Would getting your fiance to talk to his mom and explain why you chose who you did help at all? Hopefully it works out 🙂

Post # 7
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would make the effort to try and include them somehow, even if it isn’t your first choice.  They’re going to be your family for the rest of your life and you want to start things on the right foot.

Post # 8
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

dont include them in the bridal party be strong! how bout you make them an usher at the wedding? thats including them in the wedding. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Let them light candles or something. Chances are neither of them actually wants to be in the wedding anyway.

Post # 10
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My FI and I had a similar issue, except both of our siblings are older.  We had certain people we envisioned in our wedding party, and definitely did not want more than 3 attendants each.  However, after my FMIL threw a fit about me having my FSIL as a bridesmaid, FI had a long talk with each other.  We decided that we needed to pick our battles (this was very early on in our engagement, and let me tell you, the battles get MUCH worse than this) and if it would make our families happier, we would invite our siblings to be part of the wedding party.  And honestly, it was the best decision we ever made, my FSIL has turned out to be a wonderful asset to the group, and 8 months later, I am so glad we made that decision.  It also helped ease some tension between the FMIL and us.  Sometimes it’s best to step back, think about how you’ll remember it 10 years down the road, and accept that the wedding day isn’t just about the bride and groom, it is about the families, too.

Post # 11
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

my brother wasn’t a groomsman, but we included him in the ceremony by lighting the candles and being an usher, i guess its called?  you can include them w/o being in the bridal party.  maybe that would be a nice compormise.

Post # 12
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would just let them be in the bridal party as junior members. Your SIL is probably so excited that her older brother is getting, and your little brother probably feels the same and is it worth hurting a kids feelings because of”theme”? Now if they were in their 30’s I would have a totally different response, but two 16 year olds might feel sad and embarrassed that they weren’t asked.

 In 20 years you may not be friends with your friends in the bridal party, but your brother and SIL will still be members of your family.  

Post # 13
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

You and your FI decide what YA’LL want and stick too it.

My FMIL has thrown a fit about just about everything… pfft really she doesn’t even like me. lol

When it comes down too it.. it’s now you and your soon to be so ya’ll just stick together.

She’ll get over it… or if she doesn’t then that’s on her, not on you.

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