So, many of you might remember several months back that I booted a bridesmaid for being rude, selfish (wanting wedding stuff to be about her, the dress she wanted, food she wanted, cake that she wanted to eat) and an all around you-know-what to me and my Future Hubby. Well we didn't talk for a long time, almost 7 months I think and upon hearing that she was having heart trouble again I called to express concern, she was a she-beast but I'm not so terrible that I wouldn’t express my concern for her well being. (PS she turned out to be fine -nothing to worry about right now)
So I asked her to come to the wedding, didn't get upset when she failed to even apologize for her actions, just took the higher road. Well I got her RSVP in the mail yesterday and was horrified to see what was on it.
A custom food order!
So, not only was she complaining back in the day about the cake because she wouldn’t be able to eat it because she's mildly lactose intolerant (like once in a great while she gets a bit constipated) it's not even medically diagnosed, she just decided she was one day. - nothing a pill can't fix - and has done in the 15 years I've known her. I mean she seriously didn't want me to have cake at the wedding because of this and tried talking me into something else.
But NOW she wants me to give them a custom order for her plate because she doesn't want the lemon pepper cream sauce on her chicken due to the "lactose thing" and because "she's on a diet". (YEAH RIGHT!)
Okay sure, NOT putting the sauce on the chicken could be easy, but my venue is giving me so many favors I don't want to ask and take advantage of their generosity. And on top of that, why should I do this for her? I feel like I should spite her and make her eat it. Or order the fish I'm also offering as a meal....which she loves fish so why she's not getting it is BEYOND me....I know I'll be paying for a half eaten plate but that will happen no matter what...
What would you do? Ask the venue and hope there's no extra charge for a custom order or tell her tough I can't do anything about it....?
Um tell her that she can scrape it off... that's what most people do when they don't like something on their food. Or she can ask the server when she arrives at her seat. Don't play into this crap Amber- you and I both know what is at the bottom of this- her trying to control something so insignificant but wants to upset you/pester you with one more thing--- you do not have to accommodate this request.
most venues will do special order food if there are dietary restrictions. I mean, some people do have major health problems that they can't eat certain things. Tell her you can have them not put the sauce on it...it shoudln't be a problem. If she is just dieting though, thats another story.
Well, see its not dietary - I mean I have known her my whole life (for the most part) and her lactose thing only plays in when she wants it to - like we'll eat pizza whenever, or cheese burgers...it's a matter of her taking a pill to help with possible constipation. Seriously if it would harm her I would be all for brining it up to the venue - but this seems to childish and rude to me - there's 2 food choices for crying outloud.
If she's lactose intolerant, that's a big issue and she shouldn't have to scrape the sauce off. Just tell the venue and it should be fine. I'm allergic to nuts and have to ask for new salads and other courses at events like charity dinners, weddings, etc. all the time. It's almost never been an issue. I know she made you mad about other stuff, but this seems like a real issue. Just don't let it get to you. Email your venue and be done with it.
Yeah like I said though, it's not diatary..that's why I don't know what to do. She eats dairy all the time, claims to be lactose intolorant when it suits her. She never gets sick, maybe constipated once in awhile (1 out of every 100 times) it's not medically diagagnosed, if it was a real medical thing I woulnd't think twice about telling the venue...she's just ebing difficult and leaves me wondering what to do....
You really have two choices: either ignore her request and risk her causing a "scene" at your wedding, or tell the venue that she has an allergy and let them put the sauce on the side, thus avoiding the issue she may cause.
Even if is isn't really a food issue, you have to choose your battles. I have a cousin that is seriously allergic to everything and she wants to bring her own food to the wedding, but my venue said she still has to make a food selection. My choices are vegetarian, chicken, or beef. She chose the filet mignon! I called her and explained to her that if she isn't going to eat it she should order the veggie meal because it costs me less. She said she didn't even think about it when she made her selection! We changed it for her. I found out later that her daugher did the same thing, so now we are changing her meal. Some people really don't understand how much of a pain things can be. I mean, how hard is it just to select the veggie choice when you are going to bring your own food anyway?
Sorry, got a little off topic. The point is that real allergies or not, you have to decide if you want her to have a reason to cause a problem at your wedding. You can't univite her.
Do you really think she's even going to show up? But, from your description, she probably would, complain that she's not front and center and then find some other ways to bother you the rest of the day. Good luck with that.
I'd say just mention it to the venue, if they can do it, great. If not, too bad for her. She'll complain either way, I'm sure.
wow. she is ridiculous. she claims to be lactose intolerant, but obnoxiously eats dairy all the time and pulls out the "milk card" only when it suits her.
i bet her constipation happens regardless of her milk intake and most likely from a poor diet with too little fiber!
i understand dietary restrictions (i'm vegan) and you will not see me eating meat when i feel like it and making a big fuss another time. i always eat vegetarian.
she can't stick to her claims and seems like she enjoys being a difficult person. does she need that much attention.
i wouldn't even worry about it anymore. my vote is to let her scrape it off. look at all your time she has already killed.
The spiteful side of me says screw her and have them put extra sauce, but you have taken the higher ground and invited her. Continue to take the higher ground and have your venue take the sauce off her plate. I am sure your venue will understand.
Glittergrl! OMG I busted out laughing when I read your comment! LOL.
JMA - I don't know I would hope so, but if her boyfriend who;'s currently in the "states care" has a "DJ" show she might follow him around like a puppy dog, if they are even still together then...course it' would be heard to break up with her from jail...he woulnd't have a ride to work during work release everyday.
MY DECISION
I am going to contact the venue, but if they are goingto charge me extra I'm not doing it. I'm also not going to lie and say it's a dietary thing, because it's not. So They are getting the full truth, and then we'll have an answer. I will let you all know what they say when I hear back!
See, it's people like that who give the rest of us who are seriously lactose intolerant a bad name. My best advice to you is to tell her if she wants a plain chicken breast, she will have to ask for it. Think of it like a restaurant. If you were to order something and have it changed, you would do it for yourself. She should be the one to ask the waiter at the time of serving the first course. Your venue should not be charging you extra, as it is actually less work for them...
As for her, that note is just not classy at all. People who fake lactose intolerant (from what you've said, she is totally faking it!) drive me crazy. Constipation is nothing in terms of the real deal. I won't go into details but it is extremely uncomfortable and painful to deal with.
No, she had surgery back in like 2000, and everything is fine now. She went in for a check up recently but told everyone she was having surgery again because the concern over her now medically 100% healthy heart was wearing off and best I can see is she still wanted to be "that girl" every one worried about and did things for because of it.
She plays these roles to get concern from others and make thing about her. Even her parents have said she's fine, I've heard doctors tell her shes fine when I would go to check up with her when we were still best friends.
And dairy woulnd't harm her heart if that was the reason she was asking for it to be off the item. She said it in her note "Wouldn be me if I didn't do that"
OMG - the venue hasn't gotten back to me yet but my friend who's wedding this "no cream sauce" girl is in 2 weeks before mine, just called to complain to ME about HER!
I guess she's not willing to wear the BM jewelry befcuase it can't be proven the earings arn't nickle free and they *might* irritate her ears. (no alergy to just wore a pair once that bugged her after a few hours...her words)
She's RSVP'd to the other wedding asking for special food, and added her boyfriend on even though she's said that he will be DJ-ing another wedding that night and won't even be there.
Threw a fit when at the "shower" she threw the other bride started talking about pregnancy, when the BRIDE IS PREGNANT because "cream sauce's" SIL was there and can't have kids - and the SIL didn't even mind the conversation, "cream sauce" just wanted there to be drama!!!
This woman needs to be stopped! Holy crap! She's like Termanator Bridesmaid and Wedding Guest.
Poor Other Bride who is too sweet to kick her out of her wedding too - I told her I'd gladly take "cream sauce's" place for her....
Oh dear. The (un)funny thing is that my FSIL is just like this - the table in the restaurant is never good enough, some item of the food always has to be sent back, the hotel room is always somehow inadequate. The last time we went anywhere with her she made them show her six (I kid you not) hotel rooms before she finally settled on the first one they had given her. I'm kind of like you, in that it makes me want to ask for a table as close to the kitchen as possible when I make a reservation if I know that she is coming.
If your table service is such that the waiter will be serving soup or salad before the main course, I would tell her that she needs to make her request at that time. That way you make sure it gets to the right person, after all - and you kind of put it back on her, rather than going to a lot of extra trouble yourself. And if all she is looking for is attention, she will certainly get it when she has to make the request, won't she?
I actually have several guests who have diet issues (mostly low fat, low sodium diets) and although I have arranged with our kitchen to have entrees without the sauces, the guests need to request those specifically from the wait staff. (Not because I hate those guests, but because that's the way the venue requested it be done.)
So, many of you might remember several months back that I booted a bridesmaid for being rude, selfish (wanting wedding stuff to be about her, the dress she wanted, food she wanted, cake that she wanted to eat) and an all around you-know-what to me and my Future Hubby.
Well we didn't talk for a long time, almost 7 months I think and upon hearing that she was having heart trouble again I called to express concern, she was a she-beast but I'm not so terrible that I wouldn’t express my concern for her well being. (PS she turned out to be fine -nothing to worry about right now)
So I asked her to come to the wedding, didn't get upset when she failed to even apologize for her actions, just took the higher road. Well I got her RSVP in the mail yesterday and was horrified to see what was on it.
A custom food order!
So, not only was she complaining back in the day about the cake because she wouldn’t be able to eat it because she's mildly lactose intolerant (like once in a great while she gets a bit constipated) it's not even medically diagnosed, she just decided she was one day. - nothing a pill can't fix - and has done in the 15 years I've known her. I mean she seriously didn't want me to have cake at the wedding because of this and tried talking me into something else.
But NOW she wants me to give them a custom order for her plate because she doesn't want the lemon pepper cream sauce on her chicken due to the "lactose thing" and because "she's on a diet". (YEAH RIGHT!)
Okay sure, NOT putting the sauce on the chicken could be easy, but my venue is giving me so many favors I don't want to ask and take advantage of their generosity. And on top of that, why should I do this for her? I feel like I should spite her and make her eat it. Or order the fish I'm also offering as a meal....which she loves fish so why she's not getting it is BEYOND me....I know I'll be paying for a half eaten plate but that will happen no matter what...
What would you do? Ask the venue and hope there's no extra charge for a custom order or tell her tough I can't do anything about it....?
Am I horrible for thinking to spite her?
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 5 months agoUm tell her that she can scrape it off... that's what most people do when they don't like something on their food. Or she can ask the server when she arrives at her seat. Don't play into this crap Amber- you and I both know what is at the bottom of this- her trying to control something so insignificant but wants to upset you/pester you with one more thing--- you do not have to accommodate this request.
posted by babagrlshell 388 posts 5 months agomost venues will do special order food if there are dietary restrictions. I mean, some people do have major health problems that they can't eat certain things. Tell her you can have them not put the sauce on it...it shoudln't be a problem. If she is just dieting though, thats another story.
posted by dreambml 431 posts 5 months agoWell, see its not dietary - I mean I have known her my whole life (for the most part) and her lactose thing only plays in when she wants it to - like we'll eat pizza whenever, or cheese burgers...it's a matter of her taking a pill to help with possible constipation. Seriously if it would harm her I would be all for brining it up to the venue - but this seems to childish and rude to me - there's 2 food choices for crying outloud.
I'm just pissy about this all together.
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 5 months agoIf she's lactose intolerant, that's a big issue and she shouldn't have to scrape the sauce off. Just tell the venue and it should be fine. I'm allergic to nuts and have to ask for new salads and other courses at events like charity dinners, weddings, etc. all the time. It's almost never been an issue. I know she made you mad about other stuff, but this seems like a real issue. Just don't let it get to you. Email your venue and be done with it.
Have fun!
posted by KateMW 483 posts 5 months agoYeah like I said though, it's not diatary..that's why I don't know what to do. She eats dairy all the time, claims to be lactose intolorant when it suits her. She never gets sick, maybe constipated once in awhile (1 out of every 100 times) it's not medically diagagnosed, if it was a real medical thing I woulnd't think twice about telling the venue...she's just ebing difficult and leaves me wondering what to do....
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 5 months agoYou really have two choices: either ignore her request and risk her causing a "scene" at your wedding, or tell the venue that she has an allergy and let them put the sauce on the side, thus avoiding the issue she may cause.
Even if is isn't really a food issue, you have to choose your battles. I have a cousin that is seriously allergic to everything and she wants to bring her own food to the wedding, but my venue said she still has to make a food selection. My choices are vegetarian, chicken, or beef. She chose the filet mignon! I called her and explained to her that if she isn't going to eat it she should order the veggie meal because it costs me less. She said she didn't even think about it when she made her selection! We changed it for her. I found out later that her daugher did the same thing, so now we are changing her meal. Some people really don't understand how much of a pain things can be. I mean, how hard is it just to select the veggie choice when you are going to bring your own food anyway?
Sorry, got a little off topic. The point is that real allergies or not, you have to decide if you want her to have a reason to cause a problem at your wedding. You can't univite her.
posted by caliocteach 720 posts 5 months agoDo you really think she's even going to show up? But, from your description, she probably would, complain that she's not front and center and then find some other ways to bother you the rest of the day. Good luck with that.
I'd say just mention it to the venue, if they can do it, great. If not, too bad for her. She'll complain either way, I'm sure.
posted by jma19 364 posts 5 months agoGood point JMA, I didn't even think of that. Gosh now I wish I hadn't been the bigger person and invited her to the wedding...ugh.
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 5 months agowow. she is ridiculous. she claims to be lactose intolerant, but obnoxiously eats dairy all the time and pulls out the "milk card" only when it suits her.
i bet her constipation happens regardless of her milk intake and most likely from a poor diet with too little fiber!
i understand dietary restrictions (i'm vegan) and you will not see me eating meat when i feel like it and making a big fuss another time. i always eat vegetarian.
she can't stick to her claims and seems like she enjoys being a difficult person. does she need that much attention.
i wouldn't even worry about it anymore. my vote is to let her scrape it off. look at all your time she has already killed.
posted by SugaryRocks 60 posts 5 months agoif you could only un invite her!
posted by SugaryRocks 60 posts 5 months agogive her A PIECE OF CAKE instead as her main course.
posted by glittergrl 323 posts 5 months agoThe spiteful side of me says screw her and have them put extra sauce, but you have taken the higher ground and invited her. Continue to take the higher ground and have your venue take the sauce off her plate. I am sure your venue will understand.
posted by AprylHzle 43 posts 5 months agoGlittergrl! OMG I busted out laughing when I read your comment! LOL.
JMA - I don't know I would hope so, but if her boyfriend who;'s currently in the "states care" has a "DJ" show she might follow him around like a puppy dog, if they are even still together then...course it' would be heard to break up with her from jail...he woulnd't have a ride to work during work release everyday.
MY DECISION
I am going to contact the venue, but if they are goingto charge me extra I'm not doing it. I'm also not going to lie and say it's a dietary thing, because it's not. So They are getting the full truth, and then we'll have an answer. I will let you all know what they say when I hear back!
THANKS!
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 5 months agoI forgot to tell you the exact wording of the note she tuck in the RSVP said
Can I request a plain chicken breast? No cream sauce for this girl! LOL Woulnd't be me if I didn't do that
Nice huh?
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 5 months agoI'm confused, she has recent heart trouble? Maybe she's really trying to make an effort to work on her health and eat healthier?
posted by livvie 88 posts 5 months agoSee, it's people like that who give the rest of us who are seriously lactose intolerant a bad name. My best advice to you is to tell her if she wants a plain chicken breast, she will have to ask for it. Think of it like a restaurant. If you were to order something and have it changed, you would do it for yourself. She should be the one to ask the waiter at the time of serving the first course. Your venue should not be charging you extra, as it is actually less work for them...
As for her, that note is just not classy at all. People who fake lactose intolerant (from what you've said, she is totally faking it!) drive me crazy. Constipation is nothing in terms of the real deal. I won't go into details but it is extremely uncomfortable and painful to deal with.
posted by StephSept2808 12 posts 5 months agoNo, she had surgery back in like 2000, and everything is fine now. She went in for a check up recently but told everyone she was having surgery again because the concern over her now medically 100% healthy heart was wearing off and best I can see is she still wanted to be "that girl" every one worried about and did things for because of it.
She plays these roles to get concern from others and make thing about her. Even her parents have said she's fine, I've heard doctors tell her shes fine when I would go to check up with her when we were still best friends.
And dairy woulnd't harm her heart if that was the reason she was asking for it to be off the item. She said it in her note "Wouldn be me if I didn't do that"
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 5 months agoMINI UPDATE
OMG - the venue hasn't gotten back to me yet but my friend who's wedding this "no cream sauce" girl is in 2 weeks before mine, just called to complain to ME about HER!
I guess she's not willing to wear the BM jewelry befcuase it can't be proven the earings arn't nickle free and they *might* irritate her ears. (no alergy to just wore a pair once that bugged her after a few hours...her words)
She's RSVP'd to the other wedding asking for special food, and added her boyfriend on even though she's said that he will be DJ-ing another wedding that night and won't even be there.
Threw a fit when at the "shower" she threw the other bride started talking about pregnancy, when the BRIDE IS PREGNANT because "cream sauce's" SIL was there and can't have kids - and the SIL didn't even mind the conversation, "cream sauce" just wanted there to be drama!!!
This woman needs to be stopped! Holy crap! She's like Termanator Bridesmaid and Wedding Guest.
Poor Other Bride who is too sweet to kick her out of her wedding too - I told her I'd gladly take "cream sauce's" place for her....
posted by Sweeney2Be 1,488 posts 5 months agoOh dear. The (un)funny thing is that my FSIL is just like this - the table in the restaurant is never good enough, some item of the food always has to be sent back, the hotel room is always somehow inadequate. The last time we went anywhere with her she made them show her six (I kid you not) hotel rooms before she finally settled on the first one they had given her. I'm kind of like you, in that it makes me want to ask for a table as close to the kitchen as possible when I make a reservation if I know that she is coming.
If your table service is such that the waiter will be serving soup or salad before the main course, I would tell her that she needs to make her request at that time. That way you make sure it gets to the right person, after all - and you kind of put it back on her, rather than going to a lot of extra trouble yourself. And if all she is looking for is attention, she will certainly get it when she has to make the request, won't she?
I actually have several guests who have diet issues (mostly low fat, low sodium diets) and although I have arranged with our kitchen to have entrees without the sauces, the guests need to request those specifically from the wait staff. (Not because I hate those guests, but because that's the way the venue requested it be done.)
posted by suzanno 1,984 posts 5 months ago