Post # 1
I hear a lot of stories about people being confronted by friends or other church members about perceived sins that are being committed. I had a friend confront me about some issues a while back. I think it can be easy to come across as being judgemental even if that wasn’t your intent. I have also heard that Christians are obligated to address fellow Christians who are making sinful choices. I can see good and bad in doing that.
Do you confront fellow believers who you believe are making sinful choices? Have you ever been confronted?
Post # 3
@Kacey23: Nope its not my place to comment on others sinful behavior, and I wouldnt really listen to those who approached me about mine.
“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”- IMO confronting anyone about their sin be it “good” intentioned or not is actually a form of judgment and thus i find this statement to be true.
IMO Everyone has sinned at one point in their life, its nearly impossible to live without sin, but no one outside of your pastor/priest/minister or God can advise you on your sin. So unless someone has lived a completely sin free life its best for them keep quiet.
Post # 4
@Kacey23: Depends on the attitude behind it… if it’s a close, trusted friend speaking out of genuine concern I’d be offended if they DIDN’T say something. But if it’s someone who doesn’t really know me or care about me — or presented in a rude or hypocritical manner — I have real trouble listening to that. On the flip side I have confronted a dear friend about a serious issue (addiction). It was much like a one-on-one intervention… not a “stop it, you sinner”. Christians with the latter attitude don’t understand grace (on which the gospel is based).
Post # 5
Not that I’m condoning judgement, but it is in the Bible that you should PRIVATELY speak to other Christians who you percieve as sinning (Matthew 18:15-18). HOWEVER, it should be done in love and with grace, as a means to try to help someone.
Again, not condoning harsh judgement or public witch hunts. Simply stating there is Biblical backing to why someone might do this.
We had a situation at our church where a lady found out we were living together and went NUTS. Like, thought it of the UTMOST importance to have a meeting with all of the deacons IMMEDIATELY (it was literally 5 minutes before the start of service) to tell them that we were living together, and made it a BFD. She was reprimanded by our deacons for not following the above scripture, although they did meet with us separately to get some more information/ to encourage us to live separately until we were married.
Post # 6
I think the attitude behind it makes a huge difference. I just don’t know if I would confront or not. If it was something like a harmful addiction then I would try to help.
Post # 7
Personally I feel like it is none of my business what you choose to do with your life as long as you are hurting neither me nor my loved ones, and that includes making “sinful” choices.
Post # 8
@Kacey23: i’ve been confronted…but it was behind my back so to speak. once the girl i considered to be my best friend found out that i was in an interacial relationship (im caucasian, hes chinese) she got her FATHER to go to my GRANDFATHER to stop it. i was so hurt that she did not come to me about it first, and that she strategized enough to know that if her father had went to my father, that my father would have soooooo put her in her place because he does not tolerate racism. so instead she got her dad to go to my baptist, southern grandfather. i was PISSED because at this point i had only told my parents (and her) about him and wanted to get my grandfather accustomed to the idea first.
so…what i learned from this was: confronting people can hurt them, it can make things worse, they probably have a different idea of “sin” than you, and that it is NO ONES place to judge.
Post # 9
Going behind someone’s back is just ridiculous. I just don’t see a huge benefit in confronting someone.
Post # 10
If the person continued to sin would you limit your friendship?
Post # 11
@Kacey23 – A true Christian friend would encourage the sinner to confess their sins because they know it would only benefit the sinner read (1 John 1:9) also (Pro 28:13). But If they refuse to do so, there are steps the Bible tells us to follow, read (Matt 18:15-17). They would do this because they truly love there friend also to save themselves from being apart of the sin read (Lev 19:17).
Bottom Line: If you knew your friend was sick & eventually was going to die, knowing you could help, you would step in & provide assistance saving your friends life think about it.
@Kacey23 – I also noticed your last post Yes I would cease the friendship read (2 Tim 2:22).
I hope this helps please feel free to reply If you have any other questions.
Post # 12
I think that I’m too much a sinner to confront someone without feeling uncomfortable unless they were harming themselves or someone else.
So I don’t think that I will be requiring anyone to confess their sins anytime soon.
Post # 13
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
Well, considering God himself tells us to be involved in each other’s lives and to keep each other accountable, do it. otherwise you are going against gods will.
You have to make sure your attitude is in check though. Are you doing this because you genuinely care for them? Or are you just doing it to get them in trouble?
I haven’t ever been confronted by anyone. Not saying I don’t sin. I do. I have confronted someone though. It wasnt easy. But, it had to be done. And someone has been kicked out of my church because of church discipline.
Post # 14
Oh boy. I’m Roman Catholic and I have NEVER heard this. I’m not sure what sort of sin you’re talking about. If it is something that is physically or emotionally harming them or the people around them, then yes I think you have a responsibility as a human to say something. But confronting people on things anything that is considered a sin, for the sake that you are Christian and it is a sin is WAY over the line.
Post # 16
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
@Kacey23: I definitely think there is a balance to be found here. Yes, there are clear scriptures in the Bible commanding us to address sin. However, there are also extremely clear verses that say to do it in love. I would never confront someone I am not close with. I don’t love them, so it wouldn’t be motivated by love for them, only self-righteousness or judgement on my part. That is in clear violation of the Word of God.
It makes me so sad when I hear people taking a scripture out of context, and using it to justify their judgment of others. God intended this command as a way for us to help eachother. It takes extreme tact and love to confront someone and have it actually help the situation. It’s always clear to the person being confronted if the person is doing it out of love. If they’re not, it will most likely result in defensiveness, hurt feelings, and often bitterness.
In response to your question about breaking friendships, it would depend on the situation. For instance, I often sin by saying things I shouldn’t say. Whether rude, or prideful, or selfish, or whatever it is, it’s still sin. Am I trying to stop? Of course! Have I completely mastered controlling my tongue? Of course not! I hope that none of my friends quit being friends with me. If I saw that someone was clearly trying to get victory over the sin then no, I wouldn’t cut ties. I would try to help them. That’s the whole point of confronting sin.