Since when is it ok to judge someone to their face?!?

posted 3 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would rather they judge me to my face than behind my back.

Post # 4
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MissSweetiepie:  It’s not. I am 24 and look maybe 19/20? I have twins who will be 5 in May. It never fails to hear “they can’t be hers, she’s too young” or people saying directly to me “You’re too young to have twins”? Really.. didn’t realize there was a f-ing age requirement.

 

Post # 5
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I guess some people are really trusting, if they’re letting people they’ve been extremely rude to handle their food!

Post # 9
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MissSweetiepie:  I just think people don’t realize they are being rude.

Post # 11
Member
636 posts
Busy bee

@eliseemma:  I can’t see how someone would actually think what she said isn’t rude. She meant to be snarky and judgy, no doubt.

It can be hard not to let this stuff get to you, but it helps to think of it this way: people who are happy with their own lives usually don’t judge others like that. She was probably over-compensating for her crappy marriage, or unconsciously trying to make herself feel better for her own (possibly bad) choices. Feel sorry for her for being unhappy enough to spread her negativity around, rather than actually taking what she said personally. 

 

Post # 12
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MissSweetiepie:  I get stuff like that all the time. I had a woman tell me once while standing in line and making my little kids behave “Just wait til they’re teenagers, my teens do X and Y and Z” I just looked at her and said “Oh, I know, my 16 year old…” And then I could see the wheels turning in her head, followed immediately by “How old are you?!” Ironically my oldest was older than her oldest. She just felt the need to give unsolicited parenting advice to a stranger based solely on huge assumptions.

I would say something like that happens to me about twice a month. Last time I went out for dinner just me and my oldest (he’s 17 now, but he looks older) the waiter assumed we were on a date. And I get it, I guess I do look kinda young for my age, but when I say “Uh, that’s my son…” or “I know, I have five kids.” instead of being embarrassed that they made a mistake and shutting up I get a snarky laugh and a “No way! Really? How old are you?!” every freaking time.

I’m sick and tired of being told I’m too young to be married/divorced/have 5 kids. Cause guess what, I’m obviously not too young since I have in fact been married, am divorced and not only do I have 5 kids, my youngest is 7 years old. I’ve been waiting for somebody, anybody to see me as an adult for 18 years. For Pete’s sake, I’m 18 times 2!!!! Blah!

Post # 13
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MissSweetiepie:  This isn’t judging per se, but I am 26 and married, and the other day while I was at work I had to approach a colleague I’d never spoken to before while I was searching for something I thought she may have at her desk. In the course of talking about cats of all things I said, “My husband would kill me if I came home with another cat.” She was like, “Your husband? Are you married?” I said “Yes, just this past November.” And she said, “You look like you’re 12! You look too young for that!” I told her I was 26…It was so awkward. T____T People are bleh sometimes.

ETA: I don’t consider being told that I look like I’m 12 in a professional environment to be very flattering at all. I was a little miffed at her comment. 12? Really? I look like a middle schooler? Jesus.

Post # 14
Member
5228 posts
Bee Keeper

@eliseemma:  I had a 5 year old at 24. I used to get irritated with comments like that too. Now that we are both considerably older, I totally don’t mind people assuming I’m her sister 😉

Post # 15
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Haha, one of the families I nannied for (the one with the 4-week-old twins I was a night nurse for) said “Are you old enough to get married?”

And I looked at them, laughed, and said “Well, I’m old enough that you trust me to keep your infants safe!”

Post # 16
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Well, I think of it this way, if I look that young now, imagine how young I’ll still look in my 50’s, 60’s etc! 

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