Post # 1
I had my first fitting tonight. I might still be high from the whole thing b/c it went awful. Totally stressful and not fun, except for my mom and friend being there.
I put it all together…veil, dress, sash and they just thought it looked great but I’m really NERVOUS I’m going to be ugly. I wonder if its too much. Do I look elegant? Sophisticated? I didn’t feel like me. I felt like I was playing dress up. I’m almost 36!!! WTF?
Anyone else feel this way? Is it normal? I’m losing sleep and can’t eat b/c I am truly worried. This is so out of character for me..I don’t get it.
Please share your experiences or thoughts! Thank you. Xo
Post # 3
Are you nervous about all of the elements looking good together or that you yourself will look ugly in them? Do you have any pics of your fitting?
Post # 4
I felt the same way. I thought maybe I really shouldn’t be wearing a mermaid, I didn’t love the way my dress made my boobs look, I thought my hair would be gross, my headband would be too much for my age, everything. Once it was put together and the alterations were finished I was confident about it though and it turned out just fine. I think it’s normal to worry.
Post # 5
I have been to MANY weddings. I have hated the flowers, or food, or bm dresses. The one thing I have never once seen is an ugly bride. You’re going to be gorgeous. Accept it.
Post # 6
@adoc86: Both. I do have pics but I’m too emotional and tired to upload. I see all these pics of women who look so put together. I’m worried I’m going to look not like “me”. I’ve hated every photo of me in formal situations except my friend’s wedding when I got make-up done. Formal events stress me out. Too much pressure. 🙁 But I worry it’s all too much.
@HappySky7: Good to know!
@sara_tiara: You’re a special brand of awesome they just don’t sell anywhere. Thank you. Xo
Post # 7
I know whatever we say will probably have little effect but like another Bee said- i have never seen an ugly bride. I know personally I have doubts all the time about my appearence but honestly on your wedding day- it is the love and the joy and affection and exctiement that radiate that make the brides beautiful -regardless of what she is or isn’t wearing.
i would love to see pics if you have them! I’m sure you are just being your worst enemy like most of us are!
Post # 8
I’m sure you will look fabulous! Everyone has insecurities, but the PP is right – how many pictures of ugly brides have you seen on here?
We’re having a black tie wedding. I’m excited, but at the same time I’ve never worn a gown or been to a black tie event. I had my first fitting this past Tuesday and all I was thinking was “did I make the right decision with this dress??? Do I look ridiculous? Is this even formal enough for a black tie wedding?!” But I certainly can’t change anything now so I just think to myself that everything will be okay and it’ll come together. Pretty much every recap that I read starts out with a bride gushing about how wonderful her day was and I’m sure your’s will be nothing less!! 🙂
Post # 9
Also something to keep in mind…
any time ive put on my dress… I’ve either been in an alterations place or like my moms house… And yes every time I’ve had all it on I just feel kinda cheesy!! Like you said playing dress up! But I know that’s only because its not my wedding day… And wearing that’s much poof and bling in my house just feels silly!!
your wedding day will totally be different… the venue… The groom… It’s going to be great! Just take it all in and enjoy it… Your the bride!!!! (To me that’s been the hardest part to wrap my head around! I can’t believe its my wedding. After all the weddings I’ve been to for other people… This one is mine and I’m gonna own it… as all us brides will!… Including you!)
Post # 10
If you post pics, we can try to offer helpful suggestions. You may see “ugly,” but we may see one or two specific, tiny things that could be changed to great effect (or we might see nothing wrong at all!)
Post # 11
@Coral99: Totally understandable. I still feel like I don’t deserve my dress because I’m too plain to do it justice. I’m so used to just blending that it’s wierd to think of standing out. It’s the nicest thing I’ve ever worn so I really undsertand feeling like you’re playing dress-up. Try not to think of convaying a certain ‘look’ or image, you’ll beautiful just for being you. As much as you focus on the dress, you’re personality and natural beauty and happiness is what will shine brightest. I’ve been to many weddings, and although this is my first (and hopefully only!) I’ve heard from a number of brides that the feelings and doubts you have through out all the fittings, are replaced with the emotions of the day when you get married. Wish you the best!
Post # 12
@renwoman: You really make a great point. My dress is likely the most expensive thing I have worn or owned, except e-ring, which I’m still getting used to! The shop I went to is kind of chic and just not something I thought I would be able to do. I really excited about that. And I DO love my dress. It is really nice!!! And I feel so pretty…in just IT. The veil (which to me, has always made one a “bride”) is throwing me off! I do like it but I’m just nervous it doesn’t look right.
So others feel this way during alterations?
@Kissofapproval: Oh my goodness…YES!!! I am 36. I was single a looooong ass time. I really had decided marriage just wasn’t happening for me and I was ok with that. Then I met FI. Hahah. But like you…I still can’t believe, ME….I’m the bride?!
Is this a pretty common feeling?
@adoc86: I don’t want to say I’ve seen “ugly” brides but I have seen pics of ladies where the dress was not a good fit on them, the color white didn’t work or their make-up didn’t look good. And I don’t necessarily mean on here. Mostly Facebook.
@justjade: @EffieTrinket: I will try to upload pics this evening/weekend and tag you again. I’m still recovering from the crappy first appt. I had no idea what to expect but it was very stressful and did not go well…to me, although I really liked the alterations woman. She was very nice.
Post # 13
Going dress shopping was not a fun experience for me. I went with only my mom. I HATE wearing white, I had never worn a full-length dress, EVER, and in general, I’m not a very fancy person so I REALLY felt like you, like I was just playing dress up.
Everyone tells you, “Ohhh, you look great, you’re glowing!” etc., but for some reason it felt so fake to me! I felt like I looked awful and strange! I think it’s just because I wasn’t used to seeing myself like that – in those type of clothes/accessories, etc.
If it’s the “fanciness” that has you worried, then don’t bother all the unnessecary “primping” for your wedding. On my wedding day, a friend did my hair and very minimal makeup. I had on no nail polish. I wore very plain, 1.5-inch heel shoes. I wore my comfiest underwear that was full of holes. And I felt like ME. I was still fancy/made up enough to look “pretty” on my wedding day…ball gown and all…but I didn’t go over the top, despite everyone thinking I should.
Bottom line: You will NOT be ugly on your wedding day! Every bride is GLOWING, and people can’t see past your smile half the time, anyway! Seriously, the beauty of the happiness all around you is enough to make any person think you are totally flawless.
Post # 14
@Coral99: Reading your post made be a bit sad…without a doubt you’ll be a beautiful bride. It sounds like it’s maybe more a matter of you feeling comfortable in the whole bridal getup, rather than any physical/superficial aspect.
Have you got your dress yet? Maybe if you put it on a few times before the wedding, wear it around the house a bit you’ll feel a bit more comfortable and at ease in it. And if you want to have the full look (makeup, hair, nails etc) for the wedding, perhaps get into the habit of doing that before the big day so that you get used to being more made-up.
Post # 15
@TogetherThroughLife: I really like your idea of wearing your most comfortable underwear!!! Maybe I’ll try to do that. I’ll be changing before our first night together as married, so that isn’t an issue.
@peonyinparis: Absolutely…it’s that. The bridal get-up.
My dress is being altered right now, so I do not have it. Also, I live with FI and I don’t want him to see the dress before we are married.
I also can’t get all the hair and make-up done either b/c he will see me when I come home. And we are having a DW and all of that will be done at the hotel, in another country. I do wear make-up daily and fix my hair and I’m super girly, so I don’t think I’ll feel totally out of place but I do worry about how I will look. It totally stresses me out. I cannot sleep or eat. My stomach is in knots…always. And I have 40 something more days! 🙁
I do have to admit that formal events have always stressed me out. This is one of the reasons we are not having a traditional big wedding. It’s just us two. But I still want to look stunning.
I hated prom…even though I loved my dress. I just don’t feel pretty at events like that. Sometimes, I feel prettiest with minimal make-up, smoothed out hair, my best jeans and a simple fitted tee. This is quite new for me. And it too makes me sad…I thought at this point I would just be beyond excited. I’m stressed more than anything.
Post # 16
I’m also terrified that I’m going to look “ugly”.
I’m not really liking my dress anymore. It’s still beautiful, but my tastes have changed since I bought it. My dress is heavily beaded and has a textured skirt. Now everytime I see a simple organza a-line I regret not going that route.
I’m not at the size I want to be. This is 100% my fault. I didn’t work to get the body I want and now I’m kicking myself for it. I feel like I’m going to look like a fat cow on my wedding day.
I had my hair trial the other day and hated it. It wasn’t what I wanted and it looked poorly done. My hair stylist had to find a replacement because her baby is due around my wedding date and I’m not very confident with the new girl.
Overall, I’m just not happy with my wedding day look and I’m scared I’m going to get the pictures back and hate myself in every one of them.